Regret (Philippians 3:13)

Introduction

In 1867, there was a man by the name of Dr. Alfred Nobel. He submitted a patent which would eventually become known as Dynamite. This invention was initially intended for his construction company for moving large amounts of rock, building bridges, building buildings. He needs to move some rock. He would go on to create even more powerful explosives, which eventually would bring him a ton of fortune and reputation. Unfortunately, with explosives, these became the precursor of many military explosives, which would then go on to be used in war and kill thousands of people.

A French newspaper mistakenly published his obituary. They had thought that it was Alfred himself who had passed away, when in fact it was his brother, Ludwig. The newspaper published the obituary under the title, The Merchant of Death is Dead, going on to state, Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday. Most people, most people will never get the opportunity, most people will never get the opportunity to read their own obituary. Even with the rampant of fake news today, I believe most obituaries are fairly trustworthy. So, with this interesting opportunity, Dr. Alfred Nobel decided to start writing a bunch of wills. His very last will stated that he would leave 94% of his fortune and would be used to create five prizes.

Went on to were intended for the greatest benefit of mankind. Today we know these five prizes as the Nobel Prizes.

Normally, regret can be defined as a distress of mind or a painful memory over something that happened in the past, a missed opportunity.

An author once wrote, of all the sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are it might have been. Dr. Alfred Nobel read his own obituary and saw that what was going to be remembered of him, he did not like. So he decided, made a conscious choice that from that point forward he would try to change that perception of how he was going to be remembered. He did not allow what he might have regretted in his life, thousands of people being killed by his own inventions, but he said, I’m going to do something different. I’m going to try to establish a different memory of me. As Christians, this also ought to be a similar mindset for us. That we should not allow regret to change or cripple us when we know that we have the salvation of Jesus Christ.

As Paul said in Philippians 3 13, it says, Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it. But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.

1. Judas and Peter Both Walked With Jesus

That is Judas and Peter. Both of these men walked with Jesus for roughly three years. They had seen him in public and in private, heard his teachings, seen his miracles, each had their own basket that they went and filled up after Jesus fed the thousands. They had seen Jesus walk on water. They had seen Jesus weep when he found out that Lazarus was dead, and they had seen him raise Lazarus from the dead. So during the last week, there’s a couple of events that we can look at that maybe can help us identify how these men responded to events that took place in their life, choices, and then how they responded after that event. Most people would say that Jesus was crucified on a Friday. So on Tuesday, three days before Jesus’ crucifixion, Jesus and the disciples were at a man’s house by the name of Simon the leper.

This is where the woman had a flask of oil, and she poured the oil on Jesus and was had poured it on Jesus. And some of the disciples had become angry about this and said, Jesus, shouldn’t this oil had been sold for money and given to the poor? Jesus said, Let this woman alone. She has, she has done a good work. Immediately after this event is when Judas left the house and went and met with the chief priests and the elders, and he cut a deal with them that I’m gonna find a way to give you, give Jesus to you. So Jesus was seeking money, in a sense, you could say he was trying to, he was just showing an earthly trait. A couple days later, on Thursday, both of these men, again, Judas and Peter were now eating the Passover with Jesus in the upper room.

And Jesus warns both of them of what they are going to do.

And Judas basically was just kind of confirming does this man now know that I’m about to betray him? And Jesus just said, Yes, you are the one. Judas is like it, am I the one? And Jesus confirms that. So here, Jesus just confirms that I know what you’re about to do. But Peter, Jesus also says, You’re going to deny me. But how did Peter, his response was a little bit different. He basically announces loyalty. He says that demonstrates a little bit more of a spiritual trait than what Judas had demonstrated a couple days before. So then they both betray Jesus. Judas did it for money.

2. An Emotional Response

So whenever you commit an act that you eventually, you then come to realize that it was wrong, you’re going to have an emotional response. And once Judas realizes that Jesus was not going to be released, he had a good emotional response. I do believe that Judas was sorry for what he had done.

Maybe he thought that Jesus was going to do a miracle and was going to get himself out of the situation. Or he was going to somehow talk his way out of it, or they couldn’t pin him down on any sort of crime, and they had to let him go. But he realized that now Jesus is not being let go, and he had regret. But there’s one key note that he had more of a different response, that he also became angry. Something that’s recommended for when we do something wrong, you try to reconcile. And Judas did try to do that. He went back to the chief priests and the elders and said, Look, this is, I have committed a sin. This blood is on, this money is on innocent blood.

And he tried to give it back. But unfortunately, Judas was relying on humans for the response, and they said, we don’t want anything to do with that. And so Judas became angry.

Peter, though, responded a little bit different. When Peter recognized that he had also betrayed Jesus, he also regretted what he had done. But in a sense, he had demonstrated more of a godly sorrow. He went and weeped. Whereas Judas demonstrated more of a worldly sorrow. Weeping can often be a sign of true remorse. In Psalms chapter 6 and verse 6 and 7, it says, this is after David, a psalm that David writes after he realized what he had done in Hits in with Bathsheba and having Uriah killed. He said, I am weary with my moaning. Every night I flood my bed with tears. I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye waste away because of grief. It grows weak because of all my foes. So when we realize we do something wrong, we have an initial emotional response.

3. A Mental Response and the Ultimate Outcome

But eventually time goes on, and we now have to have a more of a mental response from that action that we committed. Judas continued in crime. He went on to commit murder after this event. That murder was of himself, but he went on to commit murder. So his regret produced continual crime, continual sin. What did Peter do? Peter went and sought the refuge of other disciples. Now keep in mind at this point, when both of them had betrayed Jesus, neither of them knew they would ever see Jesus again. Yes, Jesus had told them that he was going to be resurrected, but they didn’t, they didn’t really understand what that meant at that time. They didn’t know they were going to see Jesus again. Judas did not know he was going to see Jesus again, and neither did Peter.

Once he sees Jesus being taken away into the courts, to the Roman courts, this wasn’t on public TV that he could then watch it on C-SPAN or whatever. He thought that he would probably never see Jesus again. Maybe except on the cross, hanging there. He didn’t know he was going to be able to go to Jesus and ask for forgiveness of betraying him. But Peter sought out the refuge of his other disciples. When Jesus was finally resurrected on Sunday, he, when the women went to the tomb, and then they were excited, they were curious. This is the strange event that the tomb is empty, and they came back to the eleven disciples and told them. And there were two disciples that were in shock that they had to see it for themselves.

John and Peter had to go to the tomb. So Peter at least gathered with other friends, even though he too had betrayed Jesus.

Then the ultimate outcome, Judas commits suicide.

And Peter recognized that it was through Jesus, through his grace, through his mercy, that he would receive salvation of this betrayal and any other sin that he may commit. And he also became a leader of the church. He didn’t let this betrayal define him the rest of his life. Where Judas, he never got a chance to change that regret. There’s a passage in 2 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 10, that I think describes the difference between these two types of regret that people could have. 2 Corinthians chapter 7 and verse 10, describing godly regret and worldly regret. Chapter 7 and verse 10 reading, for godly sorrow produces repentance, leading to salvation. And it act to be an act to be regretted, but the sorrow of the world produces death.

This is exactly what happened between these two men. That Peter had godly sorrow and it produced salvation. Whereas Judas had worldly sorrow and it led directly to his death.

I’m twice as age. Doesn’t know what getting older is about yet. I’m only 36, and I’m like, man, getting older. There’s some depressing things going on here. Like, man, I got a lot coming for me, right?

4. The Regrets of the Dying

In my twenties, I realized that I was attending a lot of graduations, high school, college, a lot of weddings, a lot of birth ceremonies, a lot of exciting and joyous occasions. I now that I’m in my 30s, only in my 30s, I haven’t attended one wedding. But I’ve already attended two funerals, and I’ll be attending another one this Friday. Just a little over a month ago, I attended Tammy Fannon’s funeral. Over Labor Day, I attended my great-grandfather’s funeral, and this coming Friday I’ll be in California attending my grandfather’s funeral.

I don’t know if they had any regrets before they died. But when people are on their deathbed, that’s often a place where people express regrets in their life.

She administered to patients on their deathbed. Maybe she worked at a hospice. So she wrote a book titled The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Number one. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected me. Number two, I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. Number three, I wish I had this, I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. Number four, I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. And number five, I wish that I had let myself be happier. Regret can be a powerful emotion that can cripple us.

5. Paul Moved Beyond Regret by Grace

And you shouldn’t have any regrets if you’re a Christian. And if you’re not a Christian, I don’t want you to have any regrets. And you can potentially change that by being a Christian. There’s another character that we think about that we can think about in the Bible that I’m sure he had a lot of regrets. He talks about it in multiple passages, and we’re going to read them here in a second. Paul.

Maybe not with his own hands, but he approved of the killing. I don’t know if Stephen had a wife or had children. But there was nothing that Paul could do to bring back Stephen. If Stephen had a wife, there was probably a lot of hurt feelings that she might have had towards Paul. Even after he became a Christian.

Could you sit in the same assembly with someone that had killed your spouse?

That would be tough. I don’t know if Stephen had children. Could you sit in the assembly with someone that had killed your father? Even when he is a Christian. That would be tough. Paul expresses many of these regrets in several of his letters. And I want to look at them. In Galatians 1 verse 13, he says, For you have heard of my former manner of life in Judaism, how I used to persecute the church of God beyond measure and tried to destroy it.

I’m sure Paul had a lot of deep regret of the things that he did in his life. But in all three of these passages, the very next verse, he shows that there’s a way to move beyond that. Beyond that regret. In Galatians verse 15 and 16 says, But when he who had set me apart, even from my mother’s womb and called me through his grace, was pleased to reveal his son in me. 1 Timothy 1, verse 14. And the grace of our Lord was more than abundant with the faith and love which are found in Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15, verse 10. But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace toward me did not prove vain. But I labored, I labored even more than all of them.

Yet not I, but the grace of God with me. See, the word grace is in all these passages.

But he could he could change the way he thought about what he had done by thinking about what God has given him. Grace. Moving forward, looking forward.

6. Having a Different Attitude

And if you want to turn your Bibles over to Philippians chapter 3, this won’t be on the board. And I think this passage here is a key element of what can help us move past regret. Thinking about something that in the past that we’ve done that maybe has hurt people, hurt yourself or others. Philippians chapter 3. Verse 13. Says, brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet. But one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead.

And this is the verse that I want to focus on. Verse 15.

And if anything, you have a different attitude. That to me, having a different attitude, could be a key element in moving past regret.

That event that he had done, he didn’t want to continue living. He couldn’t face people. And so he took his own life. But when Peter had a different attitude. Peter didn’t know he was going to see Jesus again. But he had a different attitude in facing that. And it doesn’t matter. We can recognize, we think about God has all this grace. He can give me all this grace. But yet we still have we still hold on to regret. We still hold on to something that I’ve done in the past, someone that I’ve hurt. A mistake that I’ve made. Why? It’s like I’ve got God’s grace. Why do I still feel like this? I think a lot of it has to do with our attitude.

Thinking about it differently.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool that I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure. These things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you are, of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is there is no reason not to follow your heart. Steve Jobs.

I don’t know what the spiritual condition was of Steve Jobs.

But based on this quote, I would like to think that he probably didn’t have any regrets on his deathbed. Now maybe he should have, considering if he wasn’t spiritually right with God.

Conclusion

If you get to a deathbed, you not everyone gets that opportunity. Not everyone gets the opportunity to express their regrets on their deathbed. Some people die suddenly. But we should not wait to our deathbed to express our regrets.

Tony talked about it this morning that we have today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. We have today to try to make right. Like Judas did make a good step. He tried to make right with what he had done wrong. And we too can do that. But we cannot rely on men’s response to that, trying to make right on the way we respond to that. Judas, if the chief priests and the Pharisees had taken the money back, maybe Judas had not would not have committed suicide. I don’t know. Maybe it would have been a little bit different. But he was putting his hope in people and not on God. And when we look at Peter, you can see his life, the rest of his life after this event, that he put his hope in Jesus and on God.

So tomorrow, if you have the unique experience of reading your own obituary, because the Houston Chronicle mistakenly published it. Hopefully they don’t, but maybe it might be a good exercise for you. What might that obituary? How will you be remembered? And how will you respond to what that obituary might say? Whatever it says, I hope that we can respond in a way that is what in a way that God wants us to. In a way that Peter responded, and in a way that Paul responded. I can only fathom what it was like to be in the shoes of Paul and the things that he had to think about, the people that he hurt. Some here might be in similar shoes. They’ve caused great pain to many people throughout their life, in their past life, whatever it is.

But I hope that you recognize that Jesus’ grace is much greater than that.