Why I Would Leave Preaching

Introduction

As good as that singing was, perhaps we shouldn’t have changed the regularly scheduled singing night from tonight till next week. But I appreciate the elders willing to go along with my request in that regard because I’ll be coming off a few days of vacation in Florida visiting my family and my son. And so I thought it might be better to have the singing on the back end rather than the front end of that week. And plus the last Sunday of the month came early in November. It’s hard to believe that this is the last Sunday. Yeah, December 1st is next Sunday. So anyway, the singing will be then, but I appreciate those of you who are not always here who were here tonight. We’ve been seeing a little more of the LaRuez and the Lions, I haven’t seen them in so long.

Their family’s grown since I saw them last. And it’s good to see them. And Laura and Emmett made it today by themselves. Good to see them. And I must say a word. I know Richard and Mary Jane hate for their names to be mentioned from the pulpit, but I’ve got to tell them in a public way how much we’re going to miss them. Rock solid, steady, encouraging people.

Perhaps familiar material to many of you, Romans 12, verse 1. I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. The New American Standard translates that somewhat differently at the end of verse 1. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. For through the grace given to me, I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think, but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

For just as we have many members in one body, and all the members do not have the same function, so we who are many are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.

I know John cited these passages in his Wednesday night invitation a week and a half ago. And actually, we could go not only through chapter 12, but 13 and 14 and 15 and to the end of the chapter, talking about the kind of product that is to be produced in those who are justified by faith. That is my attempt here to produce the product that Jesus wants in his people. But the attempts to produce that do not come without some cost and some difficulty. And so did I. I don’t want to talk to you for a few moments about why I would leave preaching. Robert told me before I began that my title has created a little bit of a stir. What are you laughing about?

Well, if it didn’t create a stir, maybe that would be a sign in and of itself. So what?

And I did that to get your attention. I do that sometimes with titles. But actually, the title comes from an article that Jared sent me. I always love it when things come to me from someone else, and so that way if this goes really bad, we can blame it on him. And he doesn’t even remember. The article that he sent, I believe this was when I was in a meeting in Brownsburg, Indiana a few weeks ago, he sent this to me about leaving preaching among churches of Christ. And so, since I am a preacher among a church of the Lord’s people, this certainly resonated with me, and I want to read parts of this article. I actually stole this graphic from the article as it was the header of it.

If you worship in a church of Christ, and in parentheses, my tribe, I want to tell you, I read the first half sentence, and I’m going, okay, this is probably not coming from my perspective. If you worship in a church of Christ, my tribe, your church might be primed to lose her minister. And the next one. And the one after that, quickly. First, a bit of explanation for non church of Christ readers. In my non denomination, the local church selects individual men and women to serve as her ministers, pastors, preachers. Okay. Big red flag right there. These folks may be trained or not, theologically adept or not. And whether I am, that’s up for you to decide. Qualified or not. It’s up to the church. Since each congregation is autonomous, churches can dismiss their ministers at will.

You know, it’s just having a heyday, just dismissing preachers right and left. But I’ve been here four and a half years and haven’t been dismissed yet. Amazing. Likewise, ministers can pick up and move on at will. I know what you’re thinking. Wow, that sounds like a lot of turnover. Congratulations, you’re right. You’re so right that when Church of Christ ministers get together with colleagues, conversations typically begin like this. Are you still at fill in the blank? We anticipate moving. What can I say? We’re mobile, we’re pastoral. Yay, yes, I use the word, the P word. Turnover is high among most Christian denominations. Many churches of Christ, I feel, are at an unprecedented risk of chasing away the most gifted and best trained leaders in her midst.

Well, again, I’ll leave that up to you as to whether I’m one of those. Increasingly, ministers of all stripes are sharing with me their desires to get out of churches of Christ. Whoa. Let me read that again. Ministers of all stripes are sharing with me their desires to get out of churches of Christ. I currently serve a non-traditional church. Well, that almost goes without saying. This is, remember that chart I had up several weeks ago where I talked about liberal versus conservative, and I said, among the quote, liberals, there is a left-wing, that’s where this is coming from. Left-wing liberalism in terms of their thinking. Still, ministers say, I’m pretty sure my next church will not be a church of Christ. Wow. Of course, as long as there have been ministers, there have been ministers complaining about ministry, the pay, the stress, the feelings of inadequacy, lack of recognition, unfair expectations, but this is different.

People are talking about leaving ministry. They’re talking about leaving ministry in churches of Christ as young men and women break up with churches of Christ. They’re not saying it’s not you, it’s me. They’re saying it’s you. The hidden distress inside the church is not merely that she is losing younger people. That’s not happening here. We are also losing younger ministers, he goes on to say. Okay, so this was just the introduction to this article. I’m not going to read the whole article to you. Nobody likes to be read to for that long. So I got really interested in this. Why are preachers leaving churches of Christ? Maybe these are some thoughts that I’ve had. Three reasons are given. Found this to be somewhat intriguing. Reason number one.

The role of women. I was shocked by that being the first answer. And I take it from that, the reluctance of the church or churches, to accept women leadership, women preachers, a more visible role in the local church. You know, if we’re going to teach the New Testament, we’re going to have to teach the roles that God designed for men and women. And it’s not about, it’s not about intelligence. A lot of times in local churches, you might have an average intelligence, however you measure that, among women that is greater than the men.

There are some very talented women in our midst. It’s not about intelligence. It’s not about ability. It is about roles that God has given men and women that go all the way back to the order of creation and transgression in the Garden of Eden, according to 1 Timothy chapter 2. And if we’re not going to honor those roles that God has laid down for men and women, like husbands being head of the wife and wives submitting to their husbands, and that order in the local church of women submitting to the leadership roles of men, then why are we going to listen to any of the New Testament? But I find that interesting that is the first thing that it was mentioned. The second thing is leadership woes.

And I’ve experienced some of that among the Lord’s people. I think there’s a great misunderstanding among some in the body of Christ. I can’t say that all churches of Christ are like something, because though I get around a lot and preach in a lot of different places, I’ve really only been in a handful of churches of our brethren. But I hear stories from other preachers and other places about the problem of leadership. In fact, Max Dawson from Beaumont, whenever he gets the opportunity, is going around and talking about the leadership model of the New Testament and how elders can be effective shepherds. And if you guys can ever be in one of those, wherever Max is doing one, I heard he did one just recently in Birmingham.

David Banning, I think, worked that up in Birmingham. He’s helping elders to be shepherds rather than dictators and CEOs in churches. Because in a lot of places, elders can rule with an iron fist, and it can be their way or the highway all the time, and a lot more attention given to a building than the people. And I’ve said a lot about that in other sermons at other times. But that’s the second thing that he mentioned. And then the third, and probably the one that resonates with me more than the other two, is the idea of traditionalism wins. And I do believe sometimes there is a greater loyalty to tradition than to what the text is actually saying. But of course, the illustration that he would use is of a cappella singing, and that nobody can really make a very solid textual argument for that anymore.

Boy, I tell you what, I don’t know what circles he’s running in, but it’s not people who know their New Testaments very well, or even the history of that instrumental music argument. Well, so there’s a big red flag in all of this, and the first thing that I saw is where I hesitate and read the statement again, is the denominational thinking in all of this. Preachers are getting upset. The brethren are disappointing them, and they’re upset to the point that they’re going to leave churches of Christ. Well, where are you going to go? You know, really, if you take that language at face value, people say, I’m going to leave the Lord’s church because I’m so disappointed. Well, where are you going to go? You’re going to lead the Lord’s people entirely?

Sort of sounds like a foolish decision to me to do that. And so that’s one of the first big red flags that I see in all of this. And I don’t know of anybody who is a preacher friend of mine across the width and breadth of this land is talking like this. But I do want to talk to you about times and occasions in my life where I’ve wondered is this really worth it all? And some particular problems I had. Remember last week I talked to you about preaching and five things that the preaching of the gospel produces each week in our lives, and I would encourage you to listen to that if you were not here to hear that. By the way, there was a great article written by Reagan McClinny on Focus Online, and I’d recommend that you read that about why didn’t God just spell out things.

I’ve had that question many times. People have posed that question. I recommend that you get a copy of that article. I was going to say more about that as I did this particular letter, but I’m not going to do it now. All right. Why would I leave preaching? Sherry can tell you there have been times in my life in not the very long past where I have contemplated doing so. What are some of the things that I’ve struggled with, and I know that preaching colleagues of mine have struggled with. And this is just an FYI to help you relate to strange people like me better. Yes, that was worthy of a laugh. Preachers are an odd sort. I’ll just tell you that. And I don’t know why that is, but it’s perhaps the work that we do.

1. The Unrealistic Expectations of Brethren

But I want to say, number one of the greatest problems I’ve experienced is the unrealistic expectations of brethren. And I’ve got to give a disclaimer here. Because you have treated me so well. And I don’t want you to think that I’m preaching this at you or that Tony’s somehow really disappointed in the title, Why Would Leave Preaching, means he’s on his way out. He’s looking for another opportunity. Not doing so. I know you’re going, oh man. I was hoping this lesson would go down that road, but it hasn’t. But I will say that everywhere I’ve been, everywhere, I have dealt with unrealistic expectations that people have. And they come in these particular areas. Number one, social. Try as he might, and he would have to be a gregarious sort to pull this off.

He cannot be everybody’s best friend. And it just seems sometimes that, and I understand people want to interact with the guy who’s teaching them week in and week out. And when I go to social gatherings, like a potluck, for instance, I’m really going to make an effort to talk to everybody that’s there. Because if I don’t, the preacher didn’t talk to me. But it’s not just that. I really care about the people that I worship among and preach for. But a preacher, there are expectations made of him in terms of his interaction with the group that are often not even given to elders as much as it is a preacher. And he can’t be everybody’s best friend. He can’t have a meaningful conversation with everybody at every service.

And there have been times when I no doubt have neglected people that needed attention. And that’s why it’s important that all of us do the work of interacting with each other to make sure that all of us get the kind of attention and encouragement we need, because not one person is equipped to do it all. Especially if you’re not an extrovert. And Sherry would tell you, as she told me at least three times this week, I am not.

The preacher cannot interact with everyone on the same level. Also, that means the preacher cannot attend everything to which he is invited. I would love to be able to do that. But sometimes I can’t. And sometimes the answer is no. And if I give you a no, please don’t be discouraged by that. It’s funny. Some people get discouraged because they never get invited. Now, I wouldn’t know about that. Now, I’m not invited to everything. In fact, sometimes Sherry and I were just talking about this. We see brethren doing things because they post pictures on Facebook and we weren’t invited, and we’re going, that’s okay. We’re glad brethren are getting together and doing things because the preacher and preacher’s life can’t be involved in every activity that goes on outside the assembly.

Now, I’ll tell you how you fix that, though, if you’re a preacher. And I was talking to another preaching friend of mine about this just recently. Have a lot of kids. If you’re a family of six rather than what we were, a family of four, it’s harder to entertain or if you were a family of ten, imagine it. Can anybody in here imagine that? If you’re a family of ten, would people invite you over as regularly as a family of four might be invited over? I was talking to a preacher friend of mine, he has four kids, and several of them in the teenage years, and they’re pretty spunky kids. And he was talking about not getting invited that much. And I said, Man, I wouldn’t take it personally.

You’re a family of six. And that would preclude a lot of that. Like I said, I had two children, and they were fairly well-mannered children, and so that meant more invitations. But it’s funny how Sherry and I seem to get more invitations even now. That our kids are grown. And God, it just makes entertaining easier. So there’s a lot of social expectations, and sometimes, frankly, I’m just not gonna, I’m not gonna meet up to the expectations everybody has. I’d like to. And that leads to this, and that’s pleasing everybody. You know what’s really hard about that? Is when you’re a pleaser by nature.

I can’t stand it when somebody’s unhappy with me. I absolutely can’t stand it. And I’m a pleaser. I want to make it so you’re not unhappy with me. But what I’ve discovered is that no matter how hard you try it, somebody’s gonna be upset with you. Especially if you’re preaching the gospel. And I’ll have more to say about that in a minute, but I will say, in all the works that I’ve had, whether they’ve been works of two years or four years or twelve years, people in the congregation have gotten upset with me. And sometimes we move on, and sometimes it doesn’t move on. And there is no way to please everybody all the time. And that’s one of the difficulties of this work. So you might say at this way I have a lot of bosses.

Oh, I know, maybe the elders are going to make the decision whether I leave or stay. But ultimately, I feel like a lot of I have a lot of bosses. A lot of people who can tell me what they like and don’t like about my work. About my preaching style.

It’s what I’ve learned from older preachers that I’ve studied with, preachers that I respected, people like Robert Jackson, who I thought were great at delivering a message in an effective way, even if it was 25 minutes. And I’ve learned from Don Trix about how to put material together to actually write something down on a piece of paper so that ten years later you’ll know exactly what you said. I used to do these really small outlines. I still have them up in the office. And I look back at them, I have no idea really what I said. And so I’ve got to thank Don Trix for a more extensive outline that I produce. But as far as the nature and subject of the preaching, sometimes, as I strive to present the whole council of God, it is a very daunting task.

And that leads to this, the thought sometimes that brethren have that preaching is easy. Now, I want to clarify this too. This is not a woe is me point. Woe is Tony. None of this is. This is for your understanding. I hear things like you only work two days a week. Well, that’s not true, of course, and you know that. And I know that’s just in fun. And I know you appreciate the work that goes into the presentation of material. And I perhaps do have some free time when I need it. During the week, when you guys are slaving away at your Monday through Friday, 40 hour a week jobs, I perhaps have some free time during the week that you don’t have. But remember this: when you go off on a weekend somewhere, Tony’s not going off on the weekend.

2. The Demand of Perfection for Him and His Family

He’s going to be here. Just like he was the week before and the week before and the week before, unless he takes vacation. So I tell people sometimes, it’s very rare. I have taken my weekend on Monday and Tuesday. On very rare occasions. But he’s here. He’s working. So beware of unrealistic expectations. I want you to think about your interaction with the preacher. And what if everybody had the same expectations that you would it be like then? The second thing that has been a problem that I want to share with you is the demand of perfection for him and his family. The preacher is under the microscope. Part of that is here he is in front of you. Every week. The preacher’s family is constantly under the scrutiny of the brethren and measured by everyone’s standards.

And frankly, there have been times where my kids did not live up. And listen, a preacher’s kid, just like everybody else’s kids, are going to commit sin.

I mean, if we’re baptizing young people into Christ, they have committed a sin at some point, correct? To become sinners and need to be baptized into Christ. And I think sometimes the expectation is almost sinless perfection for the preacher and his family. And again, that’s not very realistic. Sherry and I have laughed about a preacher qualification letter that was sent to us by a congregation several years ago, and one of the statements in it is no skeletons in the closet. Now I think I know what was meant by that, but the fact is there is sin in all of our closets in the past. You’re getting a guy who has been sin damaged just like everybody else. And I would say this about the demand for perfection.

3. The Difficulties That Come When We Differ

Don’t equate passion for the message with arrogance or self-righteousness. I think that sort of goes into the perfection. You know, he sort of sees himself as perfect. He sort of comes off as perfect. I’m going to tell you, I’m going to try to tell you on a rather frequent basis that I’m not perfect, so that you don’t have that perception. And I would say with Paul, I am what I am, whatever I am, I am what I am by the grace of God. 1 Corinthians chapter 15 and verse 10. But the reason why I preach this gospel with passion is because the nature and urgency of the message deserves it and the relevance of the message to your life. Point number three. This is the part that’s hard.

The difficulties that come when we differ. The more subjects you address, ultimately, you’re going to hit the subject that rubs somebody the wrong way. It may just be the ineffective way in which you said it, but sometimes it’s the very content of the message itself. You know, when I preach about social drinking, and my strong opposition to that, I do that knowing full well somebody is not going to like it. And when I preach about modesty, I do that knowing somebody is not going to like it. And that’s precisely what Paul was telling Timothy to preach the word, be instant in season and out of season. There is going to be times in the preaching of the message that is needed that it’s not going to go over well.

Rebuke is never relished by those who receive it. First, I must give great diligence to make sure that what I preach is biblical, it is accurate, and a proper understanding and interpretation of the text, and no man, not me, no man, is beyond the possibility of inaccuracy, no matter how intelligent he is. And secondly, just because someone is a longstanding member of a church who has the respect of other members does not mean that he or she can be wrong because they can.

I know of a case very recently where a preacher was let go basically because his preaching rubbed one elder the wrong way. Just one elder. And his work before that was one family, one family that got really rubbed the wrong way by his preaching. I would say this too. Third, we should never believe our doctrines or views of Scripture are correct simply because we possess them. It’s very easy to identify ourselves with our positions. And because I’ve come to the conclusion, it must of necessity be right. And number four, we can be right about a thousand things. And still be wrong about some of the most important things of all. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5 and verse 3.

Though I have all knowledge and know all mysteries, if I have not love, it profits me nothing. I could preach the truth about a thousand subjects and be wrong before God if it is not spoken in love. And I would say this being Hanani, being Hanani the seer is never easy. Not that I am ever a seer, and I’m not sure why they were called seers and not prophets. They saw God’s word and delivered it. Inspired messages. But as I’ve been doing some study of late of the life of King Asa, a good king that went bad. It was Sinani the Seer who was given the task. Allah Nathan to David. Who would have to come to Asa and say you’re not right. Asa was a good king.

4. The Lessons No Longer Affect Diligence, Change, and Growth

He’s on the good king list, right? So how did he accept that? Not very well. In fact, he was enraged and persecuted some of the people at that time. It’s never easy to deliver an unpopular message. And so those difficulties that come when we differ. And those times have come and will come again. But I would say another reason in conclusion is that the lessons no longer affect diligence, change, and growth. When I was contemplating leaving Eastside, I’ll tell you one of the things that I remember, and that was in 2006 when I left, that I was contemplating these things in about 2004 or 2005. And I’ve got to be careful how I say this. We’ve got some former Eastside people here. Quite a few ought to mention them in a minute.

One of the reasons why I decided to leave, and I’ll tell you, they still don’t understand why I left.

And I would have a message that I was excited about. I would preach my heart out. Never as well as on Sunday morning. I preach better on Sunday morning. I don’t know why. I’m just not as tired. But I would get up and I would preach a lesson. And I know Sunday night, let me just say Sunday night, and you’re all doing great tonight. Sunday night, I know you’re a little more tired. Perhaps you didn’t get a long enough nap this afternoon. I realize the fatigue is entering in. And if hey, I’ve been there. I’ve fought through fatigue listening to someone else’s sermon. And I appreciate you fighting it and not just giving in and falling asleep right there. But I would preach sermons. I was excited about and preached my heart out, and it was like, it’s just another sermon from Toby.

If you’re concerned about me vacating, let me tell you the recipe for getting it done. Act like, ah, no big deal. Just another message, just another sermon. I never treat it that way. No, that’s not the only reason why I left. But I just felt like somebody else would come in and would gain the people’s interest because perhaps they had gotten too used to me. Maybe I was wrong about that. And I say that because now as I preach here, let’s see, there’s Brad and Blake and Arlen was there part of the time. Jesse was there from the very beginning. He was a little kid then. And Blake Harrit and Jamie. These kids grew up with us at Eastside. I was there for 12 years.

And now they’ve come over here. I imagine it. Their jobs brought them over here. But you don’t know how much it means to me that they’re worshiping with me. Again. And I want to say, as a group, you all have been an incredible audience to preach to you. I would rather preach to you than anywhere else. One of the reasons I struggle in meetings is I go there, and I think this sermon, I enjoyed it so much at Decker Prairie. And I preach it just didn’t go quite as well as it did at Decker Prairie. And the reason why is I don’t know those people. And I know you. And I want to thank you for working through those times when you’re tired. I’ll tell you what I don’t want to happen.

I don’t believe I am as eloquent as Ezekiel was. But it’s the text in Ezekiel 33 and verse 31. And they come to you as people come. And they sit before you as my people and hear your words. But they do not do them. For they do the lustful desires expressed by their mouth, and their heart goes after their gain. And behold, you, Ezekiel, are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument, for they hear your words and do not practice them. You talk about discouraging to the preacher. Okay, so those are the reasons why I would contemplate leaving preaching. But let me tell you why I’m not. Okay, sir, stir abated here. Let me tell you why I’m not.

5. Why I'm Not Leaving: I Am a Debtor

I’m not going to leave preaching, at least not by plan or design, not in any upcoming days, for the very same reasons that I began. Sometimes Sherry has said, when I get down, you can always go back to school. I said, I don’t want to go back to school. I’m too old to go back to school. Or my kids would say, Dad, you should do some of that radio broadcasting you’re intended to do. When I went to Florida College, I wasn’t going to be a preacher. I was going to be a sports broadcaster on the radio, and I love it to this day. I did some of that in high school. I called my high school basketball and football games, and I absolutely love that. And sometimes I’m sitting there on my couch saying, I can do that better than that guy.

I can call those games, and sometimes I’ll even go into broadcaster mode, and Brett loves it when I do that. But I gave up that dream in a single night. Because of a single sermon. And it was Brother D. Bowman who was preaching from Romans chapter 1 during the Florida College lectures in 1983. And he was preaching on this text. I am under obligation. I am a debtor. To the Greeks and to the barbarians. Romans chapter 1, verse 14. Both to the wise and to the foolish. Thus, for my part, I am ready. I am eager to preach the gospel to you also who are in Rome, for I am not ashamed of the gospel. But it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.

And so that’s why I’m still going to preach the message. I’m a debtor to do it. Because I believe in this message. And I believe in God’s people who are helped by this message. It meant a lot to me to hear Luther tell his story about upon first coming here and rededicating his life to the Lord. I preached on social drinking and what the Bible has to say about that. And he said, I’m going to have to make some changes there too. I appreciate that. That’s why I preach for people who are willing to change. And you are those people. And I appreciate that so much about you. Because change is not easy. To him be the glory in the church. The preacher is just an instrument.

That’s all he is.

Conclusion

To Jesus, to him be the glory in the church, both now and to all generations. Amen. Ephesians 3 and verse 21. And may what we do here always be about. Not someone who leads. Leaders come and go, preachers come and go. And even if a preacher stays 30 years, ultimately he’s going to go. Preachers come and go, elders come and go. Deacons, members, they come and go. We’re temporary. We are just instruments that God uses. May it all always be about his glory and his honor and adoring him. If there’s anyone in this audience tonight who’s not a Christian, we preach this message and teach this message. Because of your soul’s need to be ready for the day of judgment. If there’s someone that needs to respond in a public way to be baptized into Christ, perhaps you need help and assistance from the brethren here, prayers that we can pray for you.

Won’t you come while we stand and sing together?