They Went Out From Us

Introduction

But I appreciate some of the songs that John, all the songs really, but I appreciate the ones that related to the topic of my lesson, a common love, certainly did, and the love that we’re to have for each other as I talked tonight about the local church. This morning we talked about worship and three things that we need to bring with us to worship. And you recall them all, right? They were on the screen for a long period of time reverence, modesty, and sobriety. Hopefully, you can give some thought to those things this week. And perhaps the verse I’m starting in tonight only has a little bit to do with where I’m going, but it’s where I got my title. So, anyway, we’re going to look at 1 John chapter 2, verses 18 through 19, where John says, Children, it is the last hour.

And just as you heard that Antichrist is coming, even now, many antichrists have arisen. For this we know, from this we know that it is the last hour. And then this, they went out from us. But they were not really of us. For if they had been of us, they would have remained with us, but they went out in order that it might be shown that they are not all of us, or they are all not of us. And so the idea is that there is a fellowship that was severed by some because apparently of the influence of antichrist teaching that was not consistent with Christ, and they went out from the group of believers that John is writing to because he says they were not of us.

Well, what are we of is a good question. And while this may not pertain to everything I’m going to say about local churches and our involvement in them, we do learn something very important about local church and fellowship in this verse, and that it is based on a commonality of belief and practice. And that’s what ties us together as the Decker Prairie Church. A commonality of what we believe that places us in Christ and causes us to truly be Christians. A commonality of belief and practice, and we’ll get to that more in a moment. But I will say this.

But that’s been my experience. So I want to talk about leaving one congregation for another. Now, the person who goes out, you know, the text said they went out from us because they were not really of us. The person who goes out and chooses another place to worship or another congregation is not necessarily the one who was in the wrong on some biblical point of view. You just may be in a minority. Oftentimes it is the majority who stays, or I’ve seen situations where people whose names were listed as trustees, you know, that becomes the building becomes sort of under their responsibility and care. And so it’s those who are not the trustees who lay who leave a particular place. And so just because someone goes out and someone goes out from us.

1. Factors Affecting Local Church Membership

And let’s say it’s because of some upset or some situation or issue. It doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re the right ones because we stayed and they’re the wrong ones because they left. It was true in this circumstance. In 1 John chapter 2. So I want to talk to you for a few moments tonight about factors affecting local church membership or local church participation. What is this all about, anyway? When the first century church was being established beginning in Jerusalem, yeah, you got that right. In Acts chapter 2, everybody who became a member of the body of Christ was not a member of the church in Jerusalem. And we read about saints in Antioch and saints throughout Asia Minor and all the letters that Paul wrote to those churches, Philippi and Thessalonica.

You know, it really doesn’t make a lot of sense to be a member of the Lord’s body in Philippi and try to claim membership back in Jerusalem where it all started. That’s a long commute on a Sunday morning, especially on a camel. You’re not going to be able, and that was funny, you’re not going to be able to saddle up your camel and go over to Jerusalem for worship on Sunday morning. You couldn’t even do it in a car. Or by plane, probably. And so a lot of it is determined by geography. And in the first century, there were some real limitations just by geography alone. And it seems that in most places, churches were confined to one per city. And we see that in the appointment of elders, as Paul would ordain elders in every church in Acts 14 and verse 23.

But in Titus 1 and verse 5, when he talks to Titus about appointing elders, he said to do so in every city. Now that doesn’t argue for a city church necessarily, and some have gone that route with the instruction. We’re talking about first century cities. And it really didn’t make a lot of sense. Something was big wrong if in the size of those cities that he’s talking about, you had a church meeting on the north end of town, you know, north side and south side. Now, in Crete, that’s not going to make a lot of sense. There weren’t many cities in Crete to begin with. And that’s where Titus is as he receives this letter from Paul. And so in one particular city, you didn’t have a north side and a south side because the two couldn’t get along.

And what a terrible testimony that would be in a very small town. But in the book of Romans, it seems, perhaps because Romans was a larger city, perhaps because Rome was a larger city, or perhaps because of persecution, that there was more than one congregation in the city of Rome. Paul talks about the church that meets in their house in a couple of places in Romans 16, 4, 5, and 15, he mentions that idea. And so it could be either of those factors, a long journey across Rome from one side or the other. Don’t know exactly how far it was. Tried to do some research on that. Wasn’t going to spend hours trying to run that down. But Rome was a bigger city in the first century, but it could have just been because of persecution that the groups were smaller.

But it was obvious that there was more than one congregation in the city of Rome, but that was an exception. And may I suggest that in that case, each church had its own leadership by biblical example. So geography is a big part of it. I mean, I know saints all over Houston, but it would be difficult, even in our more mobile society, for us to be members, say, way across town with Southside and Pasadena. Or over in Beaumont with those saints over there. That’s a long way. And so geography plays a part. Economic conditions play a part in membership in a local church. Well, what do I mean by that? People move. I mean, because of employment opportunities. In fact, people have been telling me that the work in Decker Prairie is pretty important as you come up toward the north side of things toward Magnolia, because there’s all kinds of economic changes in our area.

People are coming to this area. More Christians, some of you in this audience, as I look out, have moved to this area because of employment. And thus you are worshiping with us. Economic conditions can affect local churches. And I say that simply from the standpoint, to my knowledge. Not a single congregation we read about in the New Testament is still meeting in that place. And to my knowledge, they may not have even survived to the Dark Ages, to the end of the first millennium A.D. or thereabouts. Economic conditions of the town. And a lot of those places, you know, we think of Corinth and Thessalonica, and what have you seen of those places? Ruins, right? You’ve seen temple ruins. There’s not even a town there anymore.

The town has moved elsewhere, and that’s the place where these first century churches were actually meeting. And so economic conditions in the community in which you live, all affect local church membership. And that’s one reason why we have grown to the extent that we have.

Can stifle a congregation’s growth. What do you do when leaders no longer appear qualified or concerned about the sheep? And so just because someone was qualified perhaps to serve at some point in time, again, the character qualities to which we are called as Christians are not necessarily a constant in our lives. They have to be maintained by us all and even elders. Erroneous practices that would implicate our conscience can affect local church membership. I believe there are people who are saints who have been baptized into Christ for the forgiveness of their sins, and I could not worship with them on a regular basis. Because they practice things corporately as a group that I cannot contribute to and participate in, or it would implicate my conscience. And so that’s why what we do as a group, what we decide to do as a group is very important because I need to be able to buy into that as a member of the church who contributes to that, whatever it is.

And then there’s this matter that affects local church participation, and that is spiritual growth and wellness. And people make these decisions. I talk to people about these decisions all the time. Can I make a difference where I’m at?

How is this affecting my family? What effect is this going to have on my children? I’m going to use Jesse’s dad as an example here. I may have mentioned this before, but I remember a conversation that I had with Alan LaRue way back when at Eastside, oh, that had to be 20 years ago about the future of our work, and about the only two people we had in Adam and Jesse’s age range was Adam and Jesse. And I remember that being a concern for his parents, Alan and Jackie. And that’s a legitimate concern. If I stick this thing out, what about the young people that my young people are going to grow up with? In their case, there might not have been any if we had not grown.

And those are considerations that parents have. And I’ll tell you there’s something else about things that get a little bit upset in a congregation, and I’m going to be making a decision about whether I can stay with this or not. We need to ask this question. Am I simply a malcontent? Or do I possess legitimate concerns about the direction this congregation is headed? If I were to move to a new congregation, am I going to experience the same things in the future with that group that I’m experiencing with this one? Because perhaps I’m a part of the problem. Hold on to that thought. Is the preaching and teaching helping me? One of the most critical decisions made by local churches has to do with the kind of instruction that’s being imparted to the group.

2. When the Local Church Is Less Than Ideal

Is it instruction that can help people to grow in their knowledge of the Lord and their likeness of him? Alright, second part of this. What are you going to do when the local church is less than ideal? Now let me just stop and say that’s not my assessment of where we are. Now that may be your assessment, but that’s not mine. I think this is very ideal. And I love the Decor Prairie Church. I would love the Decor Prairie Church even if it was less than ideal, but I’m just saying I really love it. What do you do when the local church is less than ideal? And let me start with this. In some ways, it always is. Now, what do I mean by that? Because have you ever noticed this?

In local churches, have you noticed this? In local churches, there are people. Here, notice that. And because in local churches there are people, you’re going to have some issues. We’re all recovering sinners, remember that? And from time to time we still stumble and fall short of what God would have us be. And so, and some make a bigger splash in that. And it becomes a more public thing. And when that happens, you’re going to have some issues. I want to look at Ephesians 5, verse 25 in this regard, just so we’ll understand this. As Paul is talking about husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church, great ideal for us to strive to. And that he gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her.

And he’s talking about the church here. Christ gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. Great passage to show the necessity of baptism for the remission of sins. We become his people, we become his church by the cleansing that comes through the word as it instructs us to be baptized for the remission of our sins. It is the cleansing by the washing of water with the word. Shows it’s essential to becoming one in Christ. But then in verse 27, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless. No, that’s not talking about a local church.

That’s talking about at the end when he will take all of his redeemed that he regards as his righteous ones and presents them to the Father as his people. It will not include impostors and hypocrites and people who are practicing sin habitually in their lives. That’s not what this is talking about. But in the local church, we are to grow up in the fullness of the stature of Christ in Ephesians 4 and verse 13. And it says that’s an ongoing process that we seek to find in our lives. And he talks about the body in verse 16 being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies. And so, sin, poor and fallible judgment, insensitivity. Wait a minute, you mean sometimes we’re insensitive to one another?

We ought to be monitoring what we say to one another all the time. And we like to joke around that as a part of having a relationship. Some of us like to do that more than others, but you have to be careful. Some people are more sensitive than others, and you need to give that some consideration. I try to give it consideration when people say, please don’t mention me from the pulpit. Some people don’t like that. Now I do that routinely. I’ll pick people out and mention them by name. But if I think you can’t handle it, I’m going to try to refrain. You don’t want that to happen. But people are sensitive. And sometimes, as hard as you try to say the right things, have you ever gone over a conversation in your mind later that you had with someone and said, did I sound insensitive when I did I hurt their feelings?

Have you ever hurt somebody’s feelings? So he says, No, I’m really quiet. I don’t talk with people at all, so I don’t hurt their feelings. But some of us talk a little bit more, and we could actually hurt their feelings. And that has a potential to grow into a bigger thing, and that’s happened in local churches. And so insensitivity can be an issue when we say things, and there’s just people whose personalities, you know, it’s just they’re just different. They just don’t mesh. And yet that’s the very nature of this body, you know, Jew and Greek into one body. Male and female. You know, Mars and Venus, male and female, but every ethnicity as well of every nation. And so you bring all of these people together, and so you’ve got a lot that could happen in terms of upset.

Upset in the local church is inevitable. You stay anywhere for any period of time, some kind of. It doesn’t have to be large scale, you know, 50 people get up and leave, it’s that kind of thing. But some kind of upset is inevitable in the local churches. We talked about last Sunday evening when Paul tells Timothy, preach the word, be it’s an in season and out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long. So whenever there’s reproving and rebuking, again, the potential for upset, because that hurts, that stings a little. And when opin when opinions clash, again, when opinions clash, upset. I’ve been in business meetings where it was one conflicting opinion after another. Most of our business meetings go pretty smoothly, pretty amicably. But I’ve been in business meetings in other places that will go unnamed where opinions have clashed significantly for hours.

3. When Things Are Peaceful, Rejoice and Be Thankful

And it can become a very unbrotherly, unpleasant thing. Whenever two or three witnesses confront, whenever something becomes necessary, where two or three must confront another about their conduct. Again, upset is inevitable. And then ultimately, when public discipline is required, upset can come. So be aware of this in regard to the life of a local church over time. Next point. When things are not upset, when things are peaceful, may I recommend rejoice and be thankful. There’s not any upset that I know about right now in this congregation. Be happy for such times. And, well, not just when things are peaceful. Do it all the time. Rejoice always. In everything, give thanks, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. These pastors say, but particularly when we are at moments of peace in a local congregation.

4. When There Is Conflict, Monitor Yourself

But then this. What about when there is conflict? And this becomes very important. When conflict does inevitably arise.

When conflict happens, the most important thing for you to do is to monitor your own attitudes and conduct. Intensity, passion, and frustration can lead to nonproductive confrontations. When you lose your temper, when you get overly passionate, you can have conflict that is not necessarily productive, even if you’re right. Have you ever experienced that in marriage? Where you thought passionately that you were right? We’re always right? But even though you might have been right, your wife is still telling you weren’t, Steve. See how Mr. Steve, I can know he can handle it. But even if you’re right, the way you respond in conflict can be not right. Even though your issue is right. I can’t tell you how many congregations have no way of knowing.

But I couldn’t tell you, is one of the things I say. How many congregations have been blown apart? Yes, there might have been a right side and a wrong side, but even the people who had the right side on the issue were absolutely out of control in regards to their own conduct. So manage your own attitude. And that’s what 2 Timothy chapter 2 is talking about in our general attempts to reach the loss, but certainly it should be true also in the way we conduct ourselves with one another, the Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged. Now, we can just read right over that. But that’s not easy. What about when you’ve been wrong? Patient when wronged, he says.

With gentleness, correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth. That’s really what we’re after. It’s not to win an argument. It’s not a beat them over the head. It is ultimately to win their soul. That God may grant them by his mercy the repentance that leads to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do their will. And of course, in Colossians 3, verses 12 through 17, the kind of heart that we are to put on, a heart of compassion, a heart of love, and all the things that are mentioned in that context. Let the word of Christ richly dwell in you has an application as well.

In verse 16. Monitor yourself. And I just want to bring your attention to again this occasion of conflict in the New Testament in Galatians chapter 2. I marvel at this. And I pictured this. I wish I could have been there as a bystander and a witness. When Paul withstood Peter to the face. I mean, you talk about two heavyweights among the Lord’s people. Two apostles, and Peter stood to be blamed, and Paul, the persecuting apostle, who was responsible for the death of men like Stephen has to confront Peter. And the obvious humility that must have been Peter’s to rectify that situation. It is truly remarkable in an example to us. Okay, so this one in local church is less than ideal. Let’s say you’re in one of those congregations.

5. Am I Going to Stay or Go?

Obviously, we’re not talking about Decker Prairie. At least not right now. It’s present. Okay, your local church is less than ideal. What about the decision you’re going to have to make? Am I going to stay?

Or am I going to go?

Preachers deal with this issue all the time. And again, I’ll mention Eastside because some of the kids that are here, were there when I was in Baytown? They’re all grown up now. It’s wonderful. Sherry and I talk about it all the time. It’s so neat to be able to come back years later to another place and have those kids here with us again as adults.

Is I being affected? Could somebody else be more affected? Do they need to be listening to somebody else on a weekly basis other than me? And those are thoughts Sherry and I talked about that. She can tell you. We talked about this so many times. You know, am I having the impact that I had a few years ago as I preached the truth? And that weighed into some of my decision to leave. And so you have to think about what impact am I having or can I have on this group by staying or leaving? And there are other issues if you’re not a preacher. The presence of disagreement is not necessarily a reason to pull up stakes and go. And I’ve been talking about this for a while with you.

That when we can work out our problems, that’s a huge thing. When we can work through disagreements, when we can find unity without compromise, that’s positive. And again, let me talk about marriage. Isn’t that what happens in a marriage that lasts 20, 30, 40, 50 years? There are some issues that come up in that marriage that you have to work through. And if you can do that, if you can keep plugging away, if you can really listen to your wife when she says you need to be changing, and here’s how. And of course, it’s not just the spouse, the husband that needs to do all the changing, but usually it’s us that needs to change a lot. And so if you’ll listen, and you keep working, and I’ll have more to say about marriage in a future sermon.

I got the idea this morning. I may have to come up next Sunday. But if you keep working through that, then your tie and bond can become stronger over time. And that happens in a local church. And that’s really the idea. The brotherly bond can be strengthened by solving problems. Character refining and spiritual growth can occur if we do that. And I’ll tell you what happens in the midst of conflict, it’s good for you. If it drives you to more dependence upon God, if you say, I just don’t know what the solution is to this problem, and you get down on your knees and you pray more than you have in times past, that’s a good thing that comes out of it. If you’re depending upon God more than you ever have, that’s a plus that comes out of a time of conflict.

And then there’s this, where Paul admonishes the church at Ephesus to walk worthy of the calling with which you have been called with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. We should always consider this text and apply this at length. Am I endeavoring? Am I giving diligence to solving these problems if at all possible? But having done that, you may decide that I’m not getting anywhere. And I’m in a position where spiritual growth is going to be compromised for me and my family. And the time might come that I’m going to have to make a change, especially if people will not listen to you and the concerns that you have.

I mean, if you’re talking to brethren, this is a real problem in our congregation, the direction we’re headed, and nobody’s going to listen to you. You get shut off or shut down. Then there may come a time when you must find saints if you can. Can you imagine being in Crete and having very few occupations? I’m going to go worship with the brethren up in the Mediterranean Sea. There’s no churches there. I mean, you’re on an island. There aren’t many congregations to choose from. Those must have presented some very challenging circumstances in those times as they don’t have cars where they can drive 30 miles. Or however far it is to another group. Do my concerns reflect a real problem? Or are they just a pride thing?

A pet peeve that I have. Some erroneously conclude that their objection is the same as everyone else’s. You know, don’t fall prey to this because I feel a certain way about something. That everybody feels that way now. Oh, I just know they do. Everybody feels like I do. I can’t tell you how many times that’s come up. You know, or two or three people agree with me, and so therefore, everybody thinks like I do. Don’t necessarily come to that conclusion. It doesn’t mean that your minority conclusion is right or wrong. But don’t just assume that everybody thinks like you do. And perhaps it’s possible that I am the only one with the problem. Or sometimes you’ll say these other people agree with me, and then you go talk to them and you find out they really don’t agree with them, but they thought they did.

Perhaps I’m the only one with the problem. Then maybe I need to look inward at myself. And again, before you pull up stakes and leave, I think you really need to consider are the attitudes that I have going to ultimately lead to the same kinds of problems somewhere else. And yes, sometimes elders and preachers make mistakes. And that’s a big part of the future of a local church. And they need to acknowledge when errors have been made. We are not beyond making mistakes. And errands judgment. And having to do things over again. They might have been done differently.

Conclusion

And the salvation of souls. And not any personal agenda that I might have. This is just not about any agenda for Tony. This is about God receiving the glory, us doing the things that give him glory, that exalt him, and about the salvation of as many souls as we possibly can save. Let us pursue oneness in Christ. Again, the idea is that we need to endeavor to do that. Every plant not planted by my heavenly father shall be rooted up, Jesus said. Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Psalm 127 and verse 1. Behold how good and how pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. And so I said all of that to say. Regardless of what’s happened in the past and how you’ve come to be here.

We’re going to have to work at this. Relationships of any kind require work. And especially relationships that are as extensive as this. We’re going to have to work at this. Iron sharpens iron so one man counsels another. We’re going to have to be open to some refining. And we’re going to have to be diligent to make our relationships in Christ something that flourish and honor our God. And they’re not about me. But again, it’s about bringing glory to him.

Let’s be patient with each other. I’m thinking about something. This is a little off the subject, but I, as the worship was beginning this morning, I heard at least two or three babies crying. And it was rather loud. But you know, but you know the first thought that I had after that was aren’t we blessed to have little babies here? And so many little children. And I know the way y’all are pumping out these babies. We’re going to have a ton of crying going on here shortly. But I’ll tell you, where there is the absence of crying, you’ve got a church in sad shape.

We are very blessed to have what we have. Yes, sometimes as leaders, we don’t do as well as we would like. But let’s keep plugging together, striving together for the faith of the gospel. And let’s do something really special in this place for our God because He is deserving and worthy of all that we have to give. And when there is upset, when there is conflict, let us be determined to work through it lovingly, gently, and patiently with one another. And if there’s someone in this audience tonight who’s not a Christian, again, it’s all about the salvation of souls. And we want you to be numbered among the saved by God’s accounting, not just our accounting, but by God’s accounting. Because you have been baptized into Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.

And if we can encourage you in doing that great thing tonight, come while we stand and sing.