The Power Of Modesty

Introduction

Good morning. Many of the thoughts of this lesson actually stem from a little book that I want to mention to you this morning. There it is here. Here it is in my hand Secret Keeper by Dana Gresh, The Delicate Power of Modesty. You can get this book for $8.60 at Amazon.com. And she’s written two companion volumes, Get Lost, Guide to Finding True Love. I ordered it this morning and may refer to it at the Olympic on Friday night at their big thing for young people that they’re having. I would encourage our young people to attend that if they can. There’s another book about keeping yourself for marriage called What Are You Waiting For. I’m probably going to get that book as well, if it’s any indication what to expect in her other books.

Dana Gresh powerfully presents the effect women have on men and how a woman must understand the great power that she has to influence men with her body. And therefore possesses a great responsibility concerning modesty. The editor, Susie Schellenberger, in the forward observes, Dana Gresh knows that young women want to be in style. They want to look their best and wear the latest. But with that desire comes a huge responsibility. And I think that’s a very good summary of what this little book is about. Dana Gresh begins by telling a story of after having written this book, being in the Caribbean with the aforementioned Schellenberger. And they were reclining on the beach when these two young ladies in Itzy Beatsy Teeny Bikinis with all of the blings walk up as they recognize her and told her that they appreciated her book.

And she says, that was the day I knew this book would need to be revised. They were completely unaware of both their immodesty and the intoxicating power of it. That’s well said. The sermon that I’m preaching this morning is for all of our young ladies. That you may know the power of dress. But it is not just for you, young ladies, it is for older women in our beauty-centric culture who face the same dress pressure and need to kindly, lovingly, and understandingly instruct our younger women and set an example for them. But this lesson is also for our young men who are looking for godly women to date and hopefully one day marry. And the importance of dealing with the immodesty of our culture and curtailing lusts and exercising self-control.

And this lesson is for husbands and fathers as they support and teach the women in their lives and their young men how to be godly. So this is a lesson for everybody. And as we talk about the subject of modesty, ultimately, we will come to 1 Timothy 2 9 and 10, where Paul says in an address to men that they ought to pray and lift up holy hands in every place, he says, likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness. We’re going to come back to some of these terms and to what they mean in point number three of the lesson.

1. Be Aware of the Allure of Your Body

But I think this is very well worded. The delicate power of modesty. I want to talk to you this morning about the power of modest dress. Immodesty and irresponsible dress can affect people in devastating ways. And since that is true, then once a woman realizes that through her modest choices, she can have great power for purity and godliness. And so I want to talk about three absolute truths that come from this idea of the power of modesty. The first of which, young ladies, is you need to be aware of the allure of your body.

And believe it or not, that’s a biblical concept. Allure. What does that word suggest? That talks about the female attractiveness, how it draws the attention of men. How do I know this is true? There’s this store called Victoria’s Secret. You ever heard of it? What’s the male counterpart to Victoria’s Secret? Oh, there may be a store like that exists, but I don’t know about it. It’s certainly not a national chain with the kind of popularity that Victoria’s Secret has. Huh, that’s interesting. What’s that about? And that’s bled into advertising on television, even hour-long television programming. Victoria’s Secret. Why is it that lust and internet pornography, for instance, is primarily in our culture a man problem? And why is the sex sales slogan primarily related to the role women play in advertising and not men?

Have you thought about that? In fact, advertisers tell Gresh that simply supplying the form of a woman in advertising causes the time spent looking at that ad to increase by 14 to 30%. That’s what advertisers know about the power or the allure of a woman’s body. And she says it’s the masterpiece called woman that calls our attention to praise. The Bible clearly indicates that men are visual creatures and tend to react strongly to the female form. Song of Solomon. We don’t talk about Song of Solomon very often in sermons. Maybe not even in Bible classes, but I want you to notice Song of Solomon that comes right after Ecclesiastes in your Bible. Song of Solomon, chapter 4, verses 1 through 4. How beautiful you are, my darling.

How beautiful you are. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Hey guys, you want to wax poetic with your girlfriend? Try that. Probably won’t work. But your hair, your hair is like a flock of guns. Well, that worked in biblical times. You might want to come up with a newer expression than that. They have descended from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes. That’s what I would have come up with. Which have come up from their washing, all of which bear twins. And not one among them has lost her young. Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely. Your temples are like a slice of pomegranate behind your veil. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with rows of stones on which are hung a thousand shields, all around shields of the mighty men.

And I’ll stop right there. As the next verse matches anatomy. But you get the point. While she may have been brilliant, he is not praising her intellect. He is focused on the attractiveness of her features. 2 Samuel. Now turn over to 2 Samuel chapter 11. What does the female form do to a man? That it happened in the spring, 2 Samuel 11 in verse 1, at the time when kings go out to battle, then David sent Joab and his servants with him. But David stayed in Jerusalem, it concludes. And in verse 2, now when evening came, David arose from his bed and walked around the roof of the king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing. And the woman was very beautiful in appearance.

David saw her body and he lost his mind. That’s what happens. And you know the rest of the story. Matthew chapter 5 in the New Testament. Matthew chapter 5. There’s a reason why this passage is directed at men. Obviously, women can stumble in this same area, but Jesus addresses this to men when he says in Matthew 5 and verse 27, you have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. What is at first a mere glance and casual observance of beauty can develop into a lengthy look and imaginative thoughts inciting illicit passion. Every woman needs to know this about men.

A woman’s body can easily have power over a man. Now, having established that, the power of modesty is this. To present yourself modestly. Modesty is your power to possess and control this allure that God granted to the female form. She can powerfully display control of the effect and must do so to please God. While being modest with your clothes cannot stop nor control the thoughts of man. Somebody says, well, it’s his responsibility not to lust. Well, that’s true. And wow, men, we’re going to have to do that in our culture, because even if our young ladies get this right and all of them dress modestly, you’re going to be living out there in the world where there is rampant immodesty. Yes, you’re going to have to control your thoughts.

Even if all of the women here do dress modestly. You’re going to have to learn to do that in the face of immodesty. But you, young ladies, should not be a contributor to this problem. And while being modest, you can limit what a man sees and what his eye is immediately drawn to. Modesty minimizes what he can investigate with his eyes. It cannot stop his imagination, but can limit what he does and the work that he has to do to get to lust. Modesty can attract a man by the richer and more lasting qualities of your character and your goodness rather than your physical attractiveness. Here’s what I’m saying. Here’s what you want to say to a man by the way you dress. You don’t want to say to him, look at what I’ve got.

You want to say to him, look at who I am. Not look at what I got, but look at who I am. Gresh talks about in her book, the Gestalt Theory. I didn’t know the name for it, but I had heard of it before. It’s the gestalt theory. And it is the power of the mind to take partial information and fill in the rest. Slits and other revealing techniques that expose thighs and cleavage, for example, cause men to finish the picture in their minds. I’ve heard this from those who create movies as they strive to get PG 13 ratings rather than rated R, because those are more popular and tend to produce a bigger income. Have you noticed most movies are PG 13? Why is that?

Because if they can do some revealing things without revealing everything, they can get people to do the gestalt theory. That is, they can fill in the blanks. Just suggestive enough so that the man can feel this allure of the woman’s body. Men, that’s where we’re going to have to learn. Control techniques. One of them is Job 31 in verse 1, where it says, I have made a covenant with my eyes. Therefore, how can I gaze at a virgin? Important verse, Job 31 and verse 1. There are some very real limits and controls that we have to have in a society where immodesty is rampant. Gresh says if a guy sees a girl walking around in tight clothes, a mini skirt or tiny shorts, well, she might as well hang a noose around the neck of his spiritual life.

2. Understand the Purpose of Your Body

We don’t have to be victims, young men. But so often men are. And it’s because of this allure. What happened in Genesis chapter 2? God makes woman for Adam. And she was unclothed. And he found her very attractive immediately. I can imagine Eve was extremely beautiful. The first woman ever created by God. Adam’s desire was for her. She was physically attractive to him. Modesty, ladies, is your power to possess this allure. Immodesty that allures by design is not just a fashion choice. It’s a sin. It’s funny that Gresh says that in her book on page 57. Immodesty is a sin. So understand, first of all, the allure of your body, but secondly, you need to understand the purpose of your body. What was the purpose of Eve’s beautiful form that she was given in that garden?

Modesty is your power to preserve it. It is not for everybody. You don’t repet, dress in a revealing way because that’s not for everybody. And someone said, Don’t reveal what you don’t want another man to touch. And I think that’s a good point. Don’t reveal what you don’t want another man to touch. Eve was for her husband, Adam. You were created, you were given this form, yes, to satisfy your husband. Preserve that for him. It is not for every man, but for one. And that’s what we learn in the story of Adam and Eve in the very beginning. Modesty is your power to keep what belongs to one. And only for that one. Look at Proverbs chapter 5. Proverbs chapter 5. Verses 18 and 19. This is the point that’s being made.

Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth as a loving hind and a graceful dough. Let her anatomy satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always by her love. This is reserved for the husband and wife relationship. And in contrast to that, in Proverbs chapter 7 and verse 10, there is a woman who is pictured dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. She is boisterous and rebellious. Her feet do not remain at home. She is now in the streets, now in the squares, and lurks by every corner. So she seizes him and kisses him, and with a brazen face, she says to him, I was due to offer peace offers today. I have paid my vow. So here is a woman in contrast to the woman of Proverbs 5 who is there to satisfy and please her husband who is dressed as a harlot.

3. The Goal of Your Heart

So understand the purpose of your body. Yes, God made man and woman differently. Why did he make woman so beautiful and so appealing for one man to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation at the proper time in the proper place? Possess your body the way God intended it. And modesty is a big part of that. Now, point number three. The goal. The goal of your heart. Ultimately, the garment isn’t the issue. Is it? It’s what’s going on the inside. If you’ve got your marker at 1 Timothy chapter 2, I want you to go back there. 1 Timothy chapter 2. What is this all about? Well, it’s about who you are. Modesty is your power to prove who you are. It issues from the heart. It’s not a garment problem.

It’s a heart problem. And really, it’s not a modesty problem, it’s a love problem. Love for God. And love for his will for us. So what is the goal of your heart? Again, is it look at what I am, or look at who I am? Look at what I’ve got, or look at who this person is on the inside. I’ll tell you, if you’re going to attract people by what you are physically, how does that work out? I want to tell you’re not going to be pretty indefinitely. Not as pretty as you were in your youth. Right? So where’s all that going to last? Where’s that all going to go? And I see some people, and we talk about this maybe Friday night. I see some people in Hollywood, beautiful people, good looking man, good looking woman, get together.

This is a camp miss, right? Amazing. Sometimes those marriages don’t even last a year. What? But how can he not be happy with her? How could she not be happy with him? What there must be more to it than physical attractiveness. Do you really want somebody to choose you because of what you look like?

Or do you want them to choose you for something more? Godliness. That ought to be the goal of our heart. According to 1 Timothy chapter 2 and verse 10, by means of good works as befits women making a claim to godliness. What is this modesty or proper clothing? It comes from the Greek word cosmios that has to do with the cosmos. You see the order and design of our universe, the cosmos. So to dress modestly, then, is to be well ordered and well arranged and appropriate. It’s the idea of shame-facedness, perhaps deriving from a word in the Greek that has to do with downcast eyes, bashful toward men, and reverence for God. Discreetly, of sound mind, self-control. Culture must not dictate how you dress. Christ must dictate that.

In 1 Peter chapter 3. In 1 Peter chapter 3, these same points are being made in verses 3 and 4. He’s not saying that it’s wrong to braid your hair or to wear jewelry. Or if that’s the case, then the putting on of dresses is wrong also. But he’s saying, let that not be your emphasis and focus. Let not your adornment be merely external. The New American Standard supplies the meaning of the ellipsis here. Let not your adornment be merely external, braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry or putting on dresses, but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. I want to take you quickly to an old testament text.

In Esther, Ezra Nehemiah Esther. Esther chapter 1, verses 11 and 12. And the story of Queen Vashtai. Gresh wittingly styles her the Bible’s hidden hero.

My grandmother was named Bashtai, by the way. We don’t talk much about Vashtai. And she’s not, she doesn’t play a large role in the book of Esther because she’s actually disposed of as queen because of this decision that she made. But hidden, not because she doesn’t get a lot of fanfare and attention, but because of the way she hid her body. Queen Vashtai was asked to be brought before the king in order to display her beauty to the people and the princess, for she was beautiful and all this occasion was one of drunkenness and men acting like men in such occasions. But Queen Vashtai refused to come at the king’s command, delivered by the eunuchs. Then the king became very angry, and his wrath burned within him.

And so, here’s a marvelous example of one who would not flaunt what she was outwardly on such an occasion as this. Gresh says, Have you ever met a beautiful girl? Only to find that her stunning looks fade as her personality comes through. Ever met a girl who becomes more and more attractive as you get to know her? Then you’ve seen internal modesty. This is the girl who’s so confident in her value that she has no reason to immodestly flaunt herself, but confidently blesses you and others when she is around. So which girl are you? Have you taken the time to consider not only what you wear, but where you go and how you act when you get there? Okay, have I told you enough about this little book?

Mothers, father’s, young ladies, and young men. It’s $8.60 at Amazon. And this isn’t a preacher. This is a woman who realizes the power of modesty. Consistent with what the Bible is teaching. And I’m just throwing this aside here since we’re on the subject of modesty. What is appropriate? I think I’m talking about that. I think most of you are going, I understand, I get the point. You know, men don’t need to be seeing thighs, men don’t need to be seeing cleavage, and we certainly don’t need to be seeing that in assemblies. And let me just say, ladies, if you’re dressed modestly, don’t tug at those garments. If you’re dressed modestly, don’t worry. It’s up to the man to control himself, to control his thought. Don’t go be tugging.

And if you have to tug because you think something is revealing, then you just need not wear that garment. But let me tell you, there is also a matter here in regard to what is appropriate in our ascendance. Oh, there are some that have lived in the era and have families that are in the era of every woman ought to always wear a dress and every man ought to always wear a suit. Well, that’s not what’s happening in our time. And I don’t think we’re ever going back to that time. And I don’t know that the Bible even says that’s absolutely necessary. But let me tell you why that happened. Because people wanted to put on their best for God. And that’s why they did it.

And perhaps in our culture, that’s not demanded. But I want to tell you where we’ve gone. Way too casual. And it’s all about my comfort. Rather than respect for the occasion of worship. And we’ll see things now that we didn’t see 20 years ago. I don’t know what the dress code is. I just know, other than the fact that it needs to be modest. It needs to be appropriate for the occasion. And I’ll tell you, close to the message. If you don’t learn anything else, clothes say something. You know, when you wear a logo, that says something. I’m not saying don’t ever wear a logo that makes a statement about something. I worship Friday nights at Florida College. You know, we make we make statements that are certain we wear purple and gold.

I don’t know why anybody would, but some do. That makes a statement. Or maroon and burgundy. Whatever. Those things make a statement. And that’s okay. But you need to understand that a statement is made. And when we come in, and it looks like we’ve given very little thought to our dress, that we just grabbed what we would grab if we were going to Walmart, we’re going to wear that to worship. That says something. It says something about what’s in our heart. You know, I’ve heard the illustration before. You know, the guy that’s waiting on the Lord’s Supper table and he’s got a rock and roll band t shirt on. That’s just not appropriate. Again, I don’t know. I can’t establish a dress code in every instance, but that’s saying something that’s distracting to what we’re trying to do.

Are you wanting to be a distraction? What’s in our heart? And modesty is your power to prove what’s in your heart. Look, if the clothes you wear, the services, if that’s all you’ve got, then fine. That’s what James chapter 2 is talking about. That’s all you got, come that way.

Conclusion

And maybe we can provide some assistance to do it a little better in the future, enable you to buy more clothes. I don’t know. But if the poor man comes in your assembly, that’s all you have. That’s great. But when it’s reflective of a poor attitude, that’s something else. Why is this subject important? I want to conclude this morning in Colossians chapter 3. We have been raised up with Christ. And we need to keep seeking the things that are above our lives or hidden with Christ in God. In verse 3. And in verse 5, he says, Therefore, consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. And that covers all aspects of this issue.

As Christians, as those who are our lives are wrapped up in Christ, hidden with him, we must consider the members of our earthly body dead to these things. Ladies, why would we want to contribute to the problem with passion and immorality that so accompanies man in this world? Think about this. The next time you go to purchase clothes for an event, whatever it is.

I hadn’t even plan to say anything about weddings, but I it’s almost as if in our culture it is impossible to do modesty in weddings. Is it impossible? It’s very, it’s very challenging. And I my heart goes out to you families that have daughters that are going to be getting married. There actually are some places that attempt to sell modest wedding dresses.

And if there are no exemptions to our call, ladies, to be modest and men to control our thoughts, to control our lusts. Consider the members of your earthly body as dead to these things. It’s all a matter of our hearts. Don’t let your heart lose its love for being holy. And that goes to all of us. Don’t let your heart lose its love for being holy. And if there’s someone in this audience this morning who has yet to put on Christ, to have your life hidden with Christ in God. There’s power in the decision to be a disciple of Jesus Christ, just like there’s power in this one aspect of modesty. The power to possess your body, the power to preserve your body, and your power to prove what your life is all about.

And the godliness that characterizes your heart. There is power in the decision, I’m going to serve Jesus Christ. Because when you are one with Him, there is no one who can take your soul away from you. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Nothing that can do that. Make that powerful decision today. Do so while we stand and sing.