Shunning Evil Words

Introduction

Well, good evening. Last Sunday night, we began a series of lessons on the subject of brotherhood. This relationship into which we’ve come. As a result, according to 1 Peter 1 and verse 22, our souls being purified in obedience to the truth unto an unfeigned love of the brethren. And how good and how pleasant it is when brothers dwell together in unity. And as we introduce our study last Lord’s day, we began at Hebrews 13 and verse 1, just an admonition that somewhat stands alone in Hebrews 13. Let love of the brethren continue. And we’re going to continue this subject of brotherhood tonight. We looked at 1 John 4 20 and 21. How significant is it whether or not you and I love our brothers and sisters?

Well, we can say all day long that we love God, but if our actions are such that they demonstrate hatred for our brothers in the Lord, then God is saying, you don’t love me. If we cannot love our brother, whom we see with our eyes, and that ought to make the matter easier for us, certainly we cannot love God whom we cannot see. These are very significant verses in 1 John chapter 4. And so as we continue these thoughts, we are going to look next week at understanding and applying Romans 14 as it relates to brotherhood and conclude with a lesson on restoring an erring brother. But tonight, we’re going to talk about how our words affect this relationship with other brothers. And I want to begin in Psalm 19, which might be noted for the creation of the world and understanding that God is the creator of everything in Psalm 19, 1 through 7.

And then his word is the way that he is spoken to us. The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul, beginning in verse 7 and following. But this Psalm concludes with an interesting appeal after the request to keep back your servant from presumptuous sins. He says in verse 14, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. May these be the thoughts that we express to God so that we are the kind of brothers that we should be, that we might pray to God for assistance and help and guidance that the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart, which, as we’ll see momentarily, prompt the words of the mouth, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

1. Gossips and Busybodies

We’re going to look at some passages quickly now and refer to them. 1 Timothy chapter 5 is where we’re going to start. We’re going to skip around a little bit looking at various texts that address this matter of gossip. In 1 Timothy 5, Paul is talking about a widow that would be put on the list and what kind of reputation and good deeds should characterize her. But younger widows were not to be put on the list. And one of the reasons is that they should want to get married at some point. And to not do so, he talks about in time they might also learn to be idle as they go around from house to house. Verse 13, and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention.

And so he talks about this pitfall of a first century young lady who might go around from house to house and not be properly engaged in life and be a busybody. And there are warnings about this throughout the New Testament. There is something to be said, there’s a balance to be drawn between Philippians 2 and verse 4 and 1 Peter 4.15. Philippians 2 and verse 4 says, do not merely look out upon your own interests, but also the interest of others. Now that’s not saying be a busybody in other men’s matters, which is thrown in with things that you might suffer for not righteous things. In 1 Peter 4 and verse 15, being a busybody in other men’s matters. Philippians 2 4 is not talking about, it’s not, hey, I’m going to stick my nose in your business, and I’m going to take over your life.

Here, let me run things and take control. I’ll tell you what to do, where to go, how to spend your money. Why don’t you just give me control over your checking account? And I’ll show you how that ought to be used, and I’m going to make all of your financial decisions for you. In fact, I’m going to make all of your decisions for you. I mean, that would be a busybody or a meddler in other men’s affairs. That’s not the point of Philippians 2 and verse 4. It simply says, take a genuine concern in the circumstances of others. There’s also this warning. Remember the older women were to teach the younger women. We studied this text just recently in the auditorium. And the older women were told to be reverent in their behavior and not malicious gossips.

The interesting thing about going from house to house. You know, that’s how you’d have to do that in biblical times. We don’t even have to leave the house today. I mean, you could do it with telephone, cell phone, email, social media through the internet. I mean, you could gossip in a lot of ways today that don’t require you to actually leave your house and go to someone else’s house. Now, in the first century, that would be required. Unless you could just yell loud enough that your neighbor could hear, but we’ve got a lot more easier ways to fall into this pitfall and trap. And so as we talk about shunning evil words and gossip in particular, I want to take you to James chapter 3 that says that we all stumble in many ways.

That’s an interesting statement. Unique to James, for we all stumble in many ways, and then one of the ways that he obviously is referring to is in the employment of our tongues. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle or control the whole body as well. So what he’s saying is, if you’re able to get control of your tongue and to refrain from transgression in that area, that’s such a common area of stumbling, then you would be equipped with sufficient ability to control other sins that you might commit in the body. So this matter of the tongue and sins in the area of the tongue are very common, sometimes difficult to control, and because the tongue is a fire, he will go on to say, and the tongue can no man tame.

Who would say that you’ve not had any problems in the area of transgression with one’s tongue? I’ve made this point before, as we talk about the fact that Jesus would say in Matthew 12 that a person speaks out of that which fills the heart. And all evil in Mark chapter 7 proceeds first from within a man.

That when one has a thought in one’s heart, from that thought or that motive, from that becoming a word spoken, can take how long? Not very long. The thought can get to the lips. That’s a marvel of creation. But the thought can get to the lips. Sometimes when I’m preaching, the thoughts don’t get to the lips as quickly and as efficiently as I would like them to. But the thought can get to the lips just that quick. And you want to reach out and sometimes grab those words. And that’s why there’s.

2. Defining Gossip and Slander

We’ve all had those in our in our marriage relationship where the words just get out there, and you want to reel them back in. I wish I hadn’t said that. And that’s why there’s all this counsel and caution in the scripture. So as we talk about gossip and slander, it’s cousin. I think it’s important that we first define what we’re talking about. The King James translates the word fluoros as tattlers. That’s what gossip does. It’s really tattling on someone. The word comes from fluo, meaning to babble. One dictionary said it involved rumors and fruitless tales, though not always rumors. And in regard to slander or false accusations, it’s interesting in 3 John 10 that Diocrates was accusing John of things. Imagine that. Making accusations regarding John, and that’s the idea of to pray against.

What about this word slander? It’s interesting. It is the Greek word the obvelos. Oh. That’s in reference to the devil who is an accuser. He is a slanderer of God’s people. So it’s the idea of being given to finding fault with the demeanor and conduct of others according to vines and spreading their innuendos and criticisms to others. Well, as I said, the Proverbs have a lot of counsel in regard to the tongue. Let’s look at Proverbs. Proverbs chapter 18, verses 20 and 21.

3. How Important Are Our Words?

We’re going to be looking at several Proverbs now. How important are our words? With the fruit of a man’s mouth, his stomach will be satisfied. He will be satisfied with the product of his lips. And then this death and life are in the power of the tongue. You get that impression in James as well when he talks about what the tongue can do, the little fire and the great flames that can result from it. And so death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. And we might make an application to spiritual death. Death and life in terms of what that can do to us spiritually. It can cause us to be alienated from God, transgressions in this area.

But even physical life and death can be affected by the words of the tongue. How many conversations between men have led to the annihilation of thousands when there could have been peace? That’s how important words can be. One’s feeling and morale may be crushed by words. Wait a minute. But what about the saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, most people that I talk to say that’s not true. That they do hurt. And in Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 18, the wise writer says, There is one who speaks rashly or recklessly like the thrust of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Like the thrust of the sword, well, that doesn’t sound like that doesn’t hurt to be on the recipient and the receiving end of that.

4. Why Would People Gossip or Slander Others?

Well, it’s Proverbs chapter 15 and verse 23. We are cautioned. A man has joy and an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and healing to the bones. And finally, like apples of gold in settings of silver, is a word spoken in right circumstances. Proverbs 25 and verse 11. Alright, so that’s a short definition of the problem. My question is, why are people doing it? Why would people gossip or slander others? Why would diatrophies do that to the apostle John? Why is this such a common pitfall? There’s so much about this transgression in Scripture. It does not happen accidentally. And if you’re still in the Proverbs, look back at chapter 6 and verse 14. Where does this problem originate?

Who with perversity in his heart devises evil continually? The one who spreads strife. And then in Proverbs 16, verses 27 and 28. A worthless man digs up evil while his words are as a scorching fire. A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. And back in chapter 10, and back in chapter 10 and verse 20, the tongue of the righteous is as choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little. And so, as I said in the introduction, our words are a reflection of what is going on in our hearts. What is the motive behind gossip and slander? Plain and simple. At the heart and the root of the problem is either some advancement of self or justification of self. Sometimes it’s just because people are bored, as we think about going from house to house with some rumor or tale, and to get a certain reaction or a response from someone to be regarded as funny or interesting.

You see, it’s all about me. Because we’re certainly not concerned about the object of our gossip and the thrusts of the sword that are being delivered. It’s about me. It’s about me getting up here, perhaps, and putting them down there. I think that was diatropies. Here was a man who loved to have the preeminence, and John was a rival to that. He was an apostle. And so if I can lower him and his estimation in people’s eyes, I can perhaps raise myself. Lower him. And a lot of this has to do with what? Jealousy and envy. You know, I really want what this person has. They perhaps have respect. A lot of times it’s simply about two things: the way someone looks and the things that they have.

People are jealous because everybody regards her as so pretty. Guys don’t generally get into that. You know, I Woody and I are not in a competition for who’s the prettiest. You can go on that later if you want to. We don’t care. But men don’t care too much about that. But women think, you know, maybe we can lower them down. That raises me up, kind of thing. Or somebody’s possessions. A lot of times it has nothing to do with those, but it’s about the respect that someone has. Or perhaps the authority that they seem to wield. Can be an object of jealousy. But again, the motive all comes back to me. I’ve always thought it interesting that Matthew points out that Jesus was delivered up to his enemies because of envy.

All the things they didn’t like about Jesus can ultimately be related to he was popular, more popular than they were. And they were envious of his position. And so I would say this. If someone is more highly regarded than I am, if someone is considered better than I am at something, you know, I don’t have any dreams of being considered the best preacher, the best preacher you’ve ever heard. If I’m the best preacher you’ve ever heard, you’ve not been around much. And there’s somebody out there that’s better than me or so regarded. And if you’re good looking, there’s somebody better looking than you. And if you’re rich, there’s somebody richer than you. It’s okay. He’s better looking than me. It’s okay if someone else does it better than me.

5. Why Are We Saying What We're Saying?

Why be jealous of all of that? Why be so focused and consumed in ourselves? That’s often the motive. But what we also need to see is the devastating results of gossip. Like I was mentioning earlier. Water and war, water and words are easy to pour but impossible to recover. Once they’re out there, they cannot be retrieved. And often, as we saw in Proverbs 16, they separate intimate friends. The results of gossip can be devastating in relationships. Proverbs 16 and verse 28, as I quoted a moment ago. So let’s avoid the problem of gossip. How are we going to do that? Well, how about this? We just won’t say anything about anybody. You know, you can avoid gossip that way. Not going to talk about you, Ed.

Never going to mention you again in conversation. You’re not coming up. Because if I mention Ed’s name, I’ll be talking about Ed. Not going to do that. What do we talk about? What do we talk about? Well, let’s just stick with the weather. Okay, we’ll talk about politics and sports. Well, you’re talking about people. We talk about the thing that people do. By the way, did you see Jared Bowman’s post on Facebook yesterday? If you haven’t, you need to see that. If you didn’t see it’s hilarious. And if you did see it, I’m going to say, I told Jared this morning via text, don’t dearticulate when you preach today. And if you go see that video, you’ll know why I said that. But see, and I’m talking about Jared and the public.

You know, you can actually gossip. I’ve heard gossip in pulpits. Slander. So we can just avoid this. We’re just not going to talk about people anymore. It’s the stuff of conversation. We talk about people all the time. So it’s got to be something beyond that. Here’s the issue. Why are we saying what we’re saying? That really gets to the heart of this and making our words acceptable before God. Why am I saying these things? What is going to be accomplished by this? Let’s not put a spin on what our motives are. Let’s really ask ourselves the question, what am I trying to accomplish? It’s okay to be funny and entertained, not because you won’t feel, oh, I’m a really funny person. We want to spread cheer.

It’s nothing wrong with making somebody laugh. And I wish I could do that better. Some of you are really good at it. Saying things that make other people laugh. And you know you might be able to tell them a tale about me and things that I’ve done that make them laugh. And that’s okay. Somebody could use some story, something that I did or said that was funny to make people laugh. But the goal is not to tear me down. The goal is not to make them think less of me. The goal is just to say something funny and provide cheer. But why are we saying it? That’s the real issue here. What is the motive of the heart? So when have we crossed the line in our words about us?

You’ve heard people say. If it’s true, you can say it. It’s true. A lot of times that’s true. But there are some words that are true that don’t need to be spoken. I know things that people have done in their lives that I’m pretty sure they don’t want me to go around all the brethren and telling them what they did in their past, even though it’s true.

That you just don’t need to get up in a pulpit and start saying all those things. Or even going around from person to person in the congregation and talking about those things. It’s not okay to say it simply because it’s true. Again, what is our goal? What purpose? What constructive purpose does it serve? Here are a couple of admonitions. Speak only well of people, and you will not need to whisper. That’s a good piece of advice. If we’re only speaking well of people, and the whispering is, you know, I don’t want everybody to hear this, but I’m going to tell you this juicy tale. There will be no need to whisper. If you don’t have any good thing to say, my mom would say. If you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say it.

How is this constructive? This is a pretty good rule to live by. Now, here’s another thing. Should this be a rule? If you can’t say it to their face, don’t say it. I can only think of a few exceptions to that. But it’s a pretty good rule to live by. If you say something and you may not intend to say it to their face, but then it does get relayed to them that you said it, you need to be able to own up to it. I’d say that’s exactly what I said. Now, I might not have said it to your face for a particular reason. But you ought to be able to own up to it if it is spoken to them. Because there are things we say about people that we would not necessarily express to them, but the goal or the motive is not to tear down.

There are a few exceptions to that rule, is what I’m saying. But when you say something about somebody, even though your intention might not have been to say it to them, if they find out about it, you don’t own up to it. There might be a reason why you didn’t speak it to their face.

If you wouldn’t want it to be told to them, then you shouldn’t say it. If you couldn’t own up to what you say. Here’s the thing that I’m concerned about.

6. The Secret to the Whole Thing: Humility

Where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable. Proverbs 10 and verse 19. But he who restrains his lips is wise. Have you ever rehearsed a conversation before it ever happened? Oh, you can’t always judge where a conversation is going. But if you look, I’m going to say this. This is the way I’m going to say it. I do that all the time. And we should do that. Here’s how I’m going to say this. Here’s how I’m going to put this. Because the heart of the righteous ponders how to answer. And how delightful is a timely word, Proverbs 15 and verse 28. Well, let me help you with this. I think there’s a key to all of this. The words we say about others. You ready? Here’s the secret to the whole thing.

Three words. Actually, it’s one. Humility. Humility. Humility. Remember, I said the problem with the motive and gossip and slander is it’s me. Me. Elevation of me. But with humility, lowliness of mind. You will be more cautious in terms of what you will say about others and how those words will be perceived by others. This proverb has been passed around a few times. There’s so much good in the worst of us and so much bad in the best of us that it ill behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us. And that’s attributed to Edward Wallace Hoke, although the original was by James Truslow Adams, where he said, it ill behaves any of us to find fault with the rest of us. Well, there are some people who have faults that keep them alienated from God.

Conclusion

We need to speak about those. We need to warn people about how they stand in relation to the judgment. All of us have faults who are of the age of accountability. The issue is blessed is he whose sins are forgiven, whose transgressions are covered. And so, in regard to your faults, have those transgressions been covered by the blood of Christ. But realize will we all stumble in many ways? James chapter 3 and verse 2. And may we realize our dependence upon Him and our humility? May we ever pursue a proper regard for our situation ourselves? That we have fallen short of God’s glory, and we’ve done so even since we became Christians and members of the body of Christ. And if there’s anything on your account that needs to be remedied, any sins in the area of one’s tongue and the proper use of it, they need to take care of that.

Those are no small things. A lot of people want to talk about big sins and small sins. Sins of the tongue are sins just as real and can be just as condemning. And that’s why there’s all of these admonitions in Scripture about how we use our tongue. Let our words always be with grace seasoned, as it were, with salt, Colossians chapter 4 and verse 6. Is there someone in our audience tonight who needs to come into this relationship with God and this relationship of brothers that’s designed to help us to go to heaven, designed to be a blessing in our lives as we noted last week, to lift our spirits, to help us maintain our focus, strengthen our hope, renew our zeal, and cause our rejoicing to be bolstered.

Is there anyone in the audience who needs to respond tonight? Let’s stand and sing together.