Restoring The Erring (Brotherhood #2)

Introduction

This is perhaps my first series that I’ve preached at Decker Prairie. Could be my last. Of course, none of us know how much time we have, for one, and secondly, I don’t like series that much. But there’s a reason why I did this series on brotherhood that is concluding tonight our fourth lesson on the subject of our regard and treatment for our brothers, and we’ll have more to say about that in a minute. You see that question change. Does the preaching of the gospel change me?

Do the sermons that I hear, do they affect change in my life? I realize it’s difficult to remember sermons. We talk a lot about that, joke about that on Wednesday night. Mike has challenged us from time to time if we even remembered this past Lord’s Day. I know we can’t remember sermons indepthally. However, people remember usually a certain sermon will stick with them, and they’ll remember that for a long period of time. Steve remembered last week’s sermon in our Bible class this morning. And so I know it’s difficult to remember, but are they having a lasting impact in our lives? What do we do with the messages? I think Mike helping us review is an important thing to help us to get the most out of the lesson.

So here I’ve done four sermons on the subject of brotherhood. What’s it going to mean? I’ve done a series on this subject before, and that church still experiences problems in this area from time to time. How much change is really accomplished? I was talking to another preacher about this on Tuesday, about how much change is really brought about in the hearts and lives of people by the preaching of the gospel. And so I think it would behoove us all to consider these messages in light of our own thinking and conduct and to work hard at these things. And then I saw this post this week by another preacher, Bill Robinson, who said, this as a standalone statement. One is not necessarily standing for the truth, even if he defends a biblical doctrine correctly.

What did you think about that for a minute? Is that right? One is not necessarily standing for the truth, even if he defends a biblical doctrine correctly. That’s correct. If one is not defending that biblical doctrine with the right attitude, which is also a part of the doctrine, is it not? And so you could be right about a particular matter of scripture and not expressing it in the loving way that it should be expressed. And so we’re talking about these kinds of attitudes, and this text in particular, the one who says he loves God but hates his brother, he is a liar. That’s how serious this matter of brotherhood is. And if we cannot love our brother whom we can see with our eyes, how impossible it is to love a God that we cannot see.

That’s what John is talking about in 1 John chapter 4. And I would affirm to you that there are many things that we’re called to believe and do that are a lot easier than to express these kinds of attributes, to have these kinds of attributes in our thoughts and in our actions to other and do them consistently. I just thought of a verse that is really not even in this series of lessons, but should be. 1 Peter 3 and verse 8. And that’s another thing. As we’re going to see on the next slide, there’s really so much about this in the New Testament. I don’t know. The four lessons really does it justice. In 1 Peter chapter 3 and verse 8, he says, to sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind-hearted, and humble in spirit.

And we’ll delve into that thought later too. Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead. For you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. And so we began in this study by talking about let brotherly love continue, Hebrews 13 and verse 1. Shunning evil words, and last week, an analysis of Romans 14 and its relation to the subject of brotherhood. And then tonight we’ll conclude with restoring the airing. We talked about it 1 Peter 1, if you’re still in 1 Peter. We talked about 1 Peter 1 in the first lesson. How that in this text, when he says, so you have an obedience to the truth, purify your souls. For a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart.

Of all the things that he could have said, our purification was unto, he speaks specifically about this relationship to brothers. And that shouldn’t surprise us from the standpoint of all that is said about one another in the New Testament. What God wants this relationship to be no secret. Instruction was necessitated by the failures of the early church. And if the early church had so much difficulty in these areas and needed so much instruction about how to regard and treat one another, don’t you think we need that in the 21st century among the Lord’s people as well. Have you read across those one another passages in your New Testament? How many are there?

So you can’t turn to all of these, so you might just want to look at them. This relationship, like I said, four sermons. I mean, this thought is all over the New Testament. And we’re going to look at it first tonight from the negative things that we’re not to do to one another. We are not to judge one another, as we saw in Romans 14 and verse 13 when we read that verse last week. Though the word not is used, by implication, he says we shouldn’t have lawsuits with one another over petty matters. And again, by implication, we should not bite and devour one another, and not be boastful and challenging in the same context, Galatians chapter 5 and verse 26. Do not lie to one another.

And you’ll notice how some of the same contexts have more than one statement in this regard. Do not lie to one another. And then two in the book of James, do not speak against or judge one another. There’s only one lawgiver and judge. And do not complain against. Now, those are the ones that are stated in the negative, not to one another. You realize how many there are to the positive in the New Testament. Again, let’s go over these very quickly. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, Romans chapter 12 and verse 10, giving preference to one another in honor. Be of the same mind toward one another, building up one another, versus destroying and tearing down again from Romans chapter 14, as we saw last week, accept one another, the last verse we looked at in that context last week, Romans 15 and verse 7.

Greet one another, and with the holy kiss, Romans 16, that particular custom is there mentioned. Have the same cheer, one for another. In that context of the body, in 1 Corinthians chapter 12. Serve one another. 1 Peter 4 10 is one of my favorites in that regard. And beyond these things, showing forbearance to one another with all humility, Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 2, and then 4 32, to be kind to one another. And that’s just the beginning. There are many more. There is speaking to one another in Psalms and Hymns and Spiritual Songs. I think we’ve done that pretty well today. There is, and that delay is too long, so I’ll just get them all up there. Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ, Ephesians 5 and verse 21, bearing with one another, teaching and admonishing.

Again, a passage that involves singing, Colossians 3:16. Comfort one another, encourage and build up one another, live in peace, stimulate, confess your sins to and pray for each other. And that’s not all. Be hospitable to one another.

1. The Neglected Model of Matthew 18

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. And of course, on many occasions throughout the New Testament, love and yes, even fervently love one another. Wow, that one another comes up a lot, doesn’t it? That’s a lot to think about, just in the introduction of our lesson this evening. This alone should keep our minds and our hands busy for a period of time. So I want to talk to you about the last lesson in our series of brotherly love, what it means to be one in Christ, and how to go about dealing with the brother who sins, or the brother who sins against you. And I want to begin tonight in Matthew 18 to talk about the model of restoring a brother who sins. And I don’t know what’s going on with the animation tonight.

It’s just doing its own thing. But may I suggest to you that this model is sometimes the neglected model of Matthew 18. And if your brother sins, go and reprove him in private. If he listens to you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses, every fact may be confirmed. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax gatherer. Truly I say unto you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

And that particular statement is directed to the apostles. So in this context, he gives us a model of what to do with the brother who sins. Some manuscript, a good number of manuscripts say sin against you. Obviously, if a brother sins against you, that needs to be resolved. But if a brother sins, if it’s not against you, that still needs to be resolved. If it can be. Now, why do I suggest that this is a neglected model? Because my experience is people don’t want to do this. It’s not pleasant. There’s nothing about any of these stages that are pleasant. There is the private stage that he talks about. You go talk to him alone. The semi-private stage where two or three others are brought as witnesses, and then the more public stage of telling it before the whole congregation or assembly.

And none of these say, I really want to do that. I look forward to this. Let’s get this started. A lot of times, people just want to jump telling everybody. Maybe not all of everybody, the whole church, but a big group of people. They want to go to three, four, five, six, seven people and tell them the incident before they ever do step number one. Then I realize that you might need some counsel to determine what should be done in a particular situation. I understand that. You might counsel with your spouse as to what should be done. I don’t think this passage is saying that you can’t talk to anybody about it before you talk to them. But this needs to be handled on a small of a scale as possible, so that if the matter can be resolved as quickly as possible, you’re the only ones that need to know about it.

It’s done and handled and it goes away because you’ve dealt with the matter privately. Now, obviously, if you don’t find the right results in stage one, and you include other people in stage two, you’re going to have to talk to them about the situation for them to come as your witnesses to that. And again, the whole desire and plan is to resolve that matter there to not have to proceed to the third and final stage.

2. This Is the Lord's Wisdom

One thing I want you to see about this text in Matthew chapter 18 is that this is the Lord’s wisdom on how to deal with it. Somebody will say, Well, I would have done that. I would have done that, but it’s not going to work. It wouldn’t have worked. They’re not going to listen. Do you know they’re not going to listen? How do you know that? Do you know that’s not going to happen? They’re not going to listen to you. And even if you’re right, they didn’t listen just like I thought. Well, that’s why those other stages exist. Because there will be occurrences where they don’t listen. And you have to proceed to step two and step three. And sometimes people will do step one, and then it all falls apart from that.

They just let it ride. They didn’t get the response they were looking for. They didn’t get the humble acknowledgement that I had done wrong and needed to change. And so they just let it drop from there. Because I want to tell you, as you proceed in this, it involves more and more work and discomfort. And so people don’t want to do that. Man, I sure wish the elders would handle this. I sure wish the preacher would handle all of this. This is work. Well, it’s work for them too, and they don’t like it any more than you do. I don’t, I don’t wake up in the morning and say, boy, I hope I can do this. I hope I get to do that. I hope I get to start this process today.

You know, and when you are the witness of the sin or the one who becomes knowledgeable of the sin, I understand it when you say, I really wish Robert Banning had seen this instead of me. Or somebody else. So the responsibility doesn’t fall on me. Maybe somebody else did see it. And they’ll take care of it. Well, how do you know that they’re going to take care of this model of Matthew chapter 18? And particularly if this is a matter of someone who has sinned against you. And I would go so far as to say, even if it’s not a matter of sinfulness before God. Even if it’s just causing a disturbance with you and your relationship with that person that might end up being a spiritual problem.

You need to go and resolve that matter with that individual. We’ve got to repair that more on that at the end of this lesson. We’ve got to follow this model. This is the Lord’s wisdom. And we can’t judge it from the standpoint of how they respond to us. This is about the rescue of their soul. How they respond. Like it or not like it, lash out at you, badmouth you to everybody. That doesn’t matter. This is the Lord’s wisdom. That’s like if we’re going to judge church discipline that we’ve talked about before, and withdrawing from the brother that walks disorderly, if we’re going to judge whether we ought to do that on the basis of whether it worked, whether the person was, I’m going to suggest to you that it works, whether the person is restored or not.

Because it works because God wants it done. And because God wants it done, if the person never repents, it did what God intended for it to do. Because a little leaven leavens the whole lump of the dough, 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse 6. And so if the leaven never changes, if the person ever changes their behavior, even though the goal was that the Spirit might be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus, 1 Corinthians 5 and verse 5. Even though it didn’t work the way we had hoped, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work in terms of what God wants. And so if you go to stage 1 and you talk to them and you’re basically shut down.

3. First Personal Assessment: The Log in Your Own Eye

So I quit. I’m done. I put forth some effort. I’m done. That’s not what this Bible says. There’s, unfortunately, in terms of the effort you’re going to have to expend, not necessarily a bad thing. But you’re going to have to expend more effort to go to stage two. And then if that doesn’t accomplish anything, go to stage three. And none of that is really pleasant. But it’s about doing what God has instructed us to do. Now, how about this text as it relates to the brother who sins or who sins against you? There’s some first personal assessment that we need to undergo. Do not judge lest you be judged. Some would say, oh man, you’re never supposed to judge the conduct and behavior of anyone else under any circumstance.

If that’s the case, we’ve already got a conflict with the previous verse. Because you have to make some judgment and some determination about the behavior of this person that would cause you to go to him or her in private and deal with that matter. You’ve had to judge about that. You’ve had to say, this conduct is not consistent with New Testament teaching. Jesus is not undoing teaching, he does somewhere else. So he clarifies. People don’t want to read on after Matthew 7 and verse 1, they will stop right there. For in the way you judge, oh, okay. Okay. There’s still some judging that has to be done, but it’s the way you judge. That’s the key here. You will be judged. Okay, now understand the measurement you hold other people to the measurement to which you will be held.

For in the way you judge, you will be judged, and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye. You see, I see this problem in you, and this certainly affects this model of Matthew 18. I see this speck in you. It’s not that speck doesn’t matter, or that small piece of dirt in your brother’s eye. If you get a small piece of dirt in, you know, what kind of an irritant that is.

My eye is telling me, get out. It’s not that the speck is a good thing. It’s not that the speck doesn’t need to be addressed. But here you have this huge, and this is supposed to be humorous, I think. This massive beam. This log. And I don’t know how you get a log in your eye, but you’ve got this log in your own eye. And so, as I’ve said, you go to the optometrist’s office and he’s trying to deal with your eye or she’s trying to deal with your eye. And if they have a log or beam in your eye, I’m giving them new optometers. I’m not going to let them dig around in my eye when they have this huge obstruction in their own vision.

They need to be able to see to see what they’re doing. And that’s what we’re being instructed here. We’ve got to first assess ourselves. How can you say to your brother, let me take that speck out of your eye? Let me dig around in your eye a little bit. When you have a log obstructing your own vision, you hypocrite. You see, it’s the nature of the judging he’s talking about. First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly. To take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Again, this passage is very clear, so often misunderstood. The speck still needs to come out. The speck still needs to be dealt with. He’s saying first you need to stop and pause and consider yourself.

Tend to yourself first. It is far more difficult to assess one’s own failures, to see one’s self clearly and accurately than it is to see the glaring errors of others. I don’t know why that is. But it’s true. When people do things that are wrong, we can look at that and it can be crystal clear in our eyes. But seeing ourselves accurately? And I think that’s why we need this model. Matthew 18 and verse 18. So others who can sometimes more accurately see our behavior than we ourselves, you know, our spouses are pretty good at that sometimes, aren’t they? We don’t see ourselves the way they see us. And they point out things that we do. And do you ever wrestle at any of that? When they point out your failure.

Is that ever, does that ever get you a little feisty? Any disagreement ever unfold as a result of that when they’re trying to point out? And maybe we’re quick to say, well, what about the beam in your own eye? I mean, I think that’s how these conflicts happen. Oh, you’re trying to deal with my speck. What about your beam? And all of that would suggest we have a hard time seeing ourselves. Don’t ever forget where we came from. Don’t ever forget the purification from our former sins that all of us needed. When we tend to get sometimes a little bit high and mighty in these things. And Luke 18, which one are we most like? The Pharisee who’s patting himself on the back, talking about what a good person he is and the good things he’s done for God?

4. You Who Are Spiritual, Restore Such a One

Or are we more like the publican? I think we all would like to say that. I hope we are. Who was beating his breast and saying, God be merciful to me, the sinner. And all of this story was predicated on the Pharisees’ thoughts about themselves. They trusted in themselves that they were righteous and they viewed others with contempt. There is a certain arrogance that attends one’s misbehavior in relation to these texts. Humility. And now all of that coincides with the great work of Galatians chapter 6, verses 1 and 2. Again, matching the model of Matthew 18 and the warning of Matthew chapter 7, Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass. Now, the text in Matthew 18 may include the word sin against you, but the reason why that model should be followed regardless is because this is just talking about a brother being overtaken in a trespass.

You who are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness, and that works well with Matthew 7. Do it with the right spirit or attitude. Each one looking to yourself, lest you two be tempted, bear one another’s burdens. And there’s another one another text. Bear one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ. I know. So, okay. I don’t have to do this because I’m not spiritual. You’re off the hook. It says, if any among you is spiritual, we’re stores. I’m not spiritual. Well, first of all, if that’s the case, we need to work on that. But you’re here tonight, and you have devoted yourself on a Sunday night to spiritual things, so I’m going to classify you as spiritual. We’re pursuing the things of the Spirit.

Furthermore, this work that we’re being challenged to do here, this unpleasant task, perhaps, that will involve conflict, could perhaps involve friction. It’ll make you more spiritual if you do the work. And somebody’s got to do this great work, this soul-saving growth causing, sin defeating work. Look at James 5 and verse 19.

I got a new Bible several years ago. Actually, it’s the exact same as my old Bible that I preached out of for about 25 years. And it was amazing that I found the exact same layout in this Bible. But the reason why I had to get a new Bible is because James 5, 19 and 20 were missing. I’d worn it out, the New Testament, and these two verses were gone. These two verses are important. As they conclude the book of James, my brethren, if any among you strays from the truth, and one turns him back. Let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

5. Let There Be No Strife, For We Are Brothers

That’s why we try to iron out differences among our brethren. And again, we’re talking about the brother who sins or sins against me, but let’s talk about something that we might not even go so far as to say is sinful conduct, but there is friction between us. There is upset. That could fester into something that leads one to ungodly attitudes, bitterness, wrath. We need to iron these things out. Brothers need to work on these things with each other. And I want to, as we mentioned, James 5, 19 and 20, I want to look at the example in the Old Testament of Genesis chapter 13. Do you know what this example is? Genesis 13, the father of the faithful shows us. There was strife, Genesis 13 and verse 7.

There was strife between the herdsman of Abram’s livestock and the herdsman of Lot’s livestock. And Abram said to Lot, please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsman and your herdsman. For we are brothers. All these verses that we’ve looked at, all those one another verses that we’ve catalogued in the New Testament, aren’t they saying just that? Let there be no strife between us because we are brothers. Be harmonious, sympathetic. Returning kindness for evil, giving a blessing instead. Those things don’t come naturally. I’ll say if we just sit in these lessons and we shake our heads and say, yeah, that’s right, that’s the truth. And we’ll not change what I own them. We’ll not be any different than we were before, because these things are not natural.

These things don’t come about by taking our Bibles and rubbing up against them. You’ve got to work on your attitudes. You’ve got to develop a love for the souls of everyone. Not just your brother, but for most people. That will fuel evangelism. You’ve got to look at people as lost and hopeless to do the work of evangelism. You have to look at brothers and say, we have different personalities. Perhaps we don’t have a lot in common in some respects, but we have spirituality in common. We have brotherhood in common. We’re in a common fellowship in a local church, and what I want for you is for you to be saved. And if I hate you, I’m going to be lost. Now that doesn’t mean ignore sin or compromise.

You know what doesn’t mean that. But that means I’m going to do everything within my power to address what might be necessary for your soul’s salvation. And if there is sin on your account, I most definitely need to address it for your soul’s salvation. And you need to address it with me. And if there is strife between us, we have to find a way to work it out. That’s Romans 14 was teaching. And so this is the conclusion of this. Nine words.

Conclusion

Actually, only three words repeated three times. Resolve. Fix. Repair. That is what brothers do. And all of this models. Who?

Couldn’t end the series without John 13 and verse 1. He loved them. He loved them to the end. The very ones that are all going to run in the garden in just a few hours. He loved them to the end. He didn’t give up on them.

And that’s the way we need to love our brothers. Take pains with these things. Serve. Love. Pray. Don’t underestimate the importance and value of prayer in the midst of conflict, strife, and dealing with the brother who sins. Prayer. Serve, love, and pray. Take pains with these things. Be absorbed in them. Pay close attention, Paul tells Timothy, to yourself and to your teaching, and it will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. And that’s why I preach this series on brotherhood. That’s why we all need to take pains with these things, because it’s about ensuring salvation for ourselves and for everyone here. We’ve got to practice this. I cannot despise and loathe you and go to heaven. Not any one of you.

How we regard each other and whether we’ve taken the time to serve, to love, and to pray for one another. Well, this lesson has not been about what one must do to be in Christ. If there’s someone in this audience, the passage in 1 Peter chapter 1, our souls are purified in obedience to the truth. And so we commend to you the Lord’s truth on how to come into union with Him. You must turn from the vain things of sin and from this world. Confess the name of Christ and be baptized for the remission of your sins unto an unfeigned love of his people of the brethren. So if we can encourage you in putting on Christ tonight, if there’s someone in this audience who needs to make a confession, maybe to receive the prayers of this congregation for your well being, we’re willing to do that as well if you need to come forward while we stand and sing together.