Onesimus

Thank you guys so much for being here today and it’s my pleasure to be able to study the word of God with you together today. Today is the second series not second series second lesson in a series that Brent began last Sunday where we’re talking about the fellowship that we share with one another. And what it’s going to require of us if we’re going to preserve that beautiful fellowship that has been created by God the son and the spirit. I’m going to begin reading in Philemon chapter 1 beginning in verse 10. The first nine verses are really an introduction that tells us a lot about who Philemon is and his relationship with Paul.

But really beginning in verse 10 he tells us why he’s writing this little letter. He says this. Paul writing to a man named Philemon says I appeal to you for my child Onesimus whom I have begotten in my imprisonment who formerly was useless to you but now is both you is useful both to you and to me. I have sent him back to you in person that is sending my very heart. Whom I wished to keep with me so that in on your behalf he might minister to me in my imprisonment for the gospel but without your consent I did not want to do anything so that your goodness would not be in effect by compulsion.

But of your own free will. For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while. That you would have him back forever. No longer as a slave but much more than a slave a beloved brother especially to me. But how much more to you both in the flesh and in the Lord. If then you regard me as a partner accept him as you would me. For Onesimus his previous life in Colossae was dead and gone. He had been a slave there, a servant there under a man named Philemon.

And And Brent mentioned this last Sunday, but it’s worth mentioning again. When we see the Bible use the word slave and we’re talking about Roman slavery, we need to get rid of all the ideas that we have of American slavery. This was a very different kind of relationship. And that kind of helps us set the tone for what’s going on here. But he was a slave. He was a servant there of a man named Philemon. And yet when the opportunity presented itself he ran away.

And in so doing he wronged Philemon deeply. And we don’t know exactly why this was such a terrible thing that he did to Philemon. Some people have supposed that when Onesimus ran away, he stole a large sum of money from Philemon. Other people have suggested that it was the running away itself, that he had violated the terms of his bond service, and in that way he had stolen from Philemon. Or it could have been any number of other things, but the Bible makes it very clear that Onesimus was Philemon’s servant, and when he ran away, he wronged Philemon deeply.

Leaving Colossae, Onesimus makes for the big city of Rome to begin his new life. Leaving Philemon and Colossae behind forever, he probably thinks. And it’s unclear exactly why he goes to Rome. Some people have suggested it’s just a big city and that’s where he wants to go. And others have suggested that that he goes there because he wants to meet Paul himself. And he may be in in essence trying to make an appeal to Paul for his own innocence in some way that that Paul might protect him from Philemon because now he’s run away from his master.

He wants to argue his case. Of course, no matter his reason for going to Rome, things don’t work out there the way that Onesimus expects. Because there in Rome, this runaway slave meets Paul. And Paul shares the gospel with him. He teaches him about the grace that is on offer from God through Jesus Christ. He teaches him about the way of Christ, and he is convicted and persuaded, and Onesimus becomes a Christian. And that changes him. In fact, we can see that here in this this very letter. Paul writes to Philemon, and he says, “Hey, before this man, Onesimus, he was he was useless to you.

But now that he’s a Christian, something has changed in him. Now he is useful to me, and he’s useful to you. In fact, I want to keep him with me so he can serve me because I found him to be that useful. The gospel has changed Onesimus forever.” And the two of them, Paul and Onesimus, go on to build this beautiful, loving relationship to the point that Paul even says Onesimus is he’s like he’s like my own child. And so here’s this runaway slave in Rome.

He’s found Paul. He’s found the gospel. He’s built this beautiful relationship. He’s serving Jesus. And yet there’s a problem. Because he has some unfinished business with a brother in Christ back in Colossae. Because Paul knows Philemon, and Paul knows that Onesimus knows Philemon, and Paul knows that there’s an issue there. And Paul knows that this issue needs to be resolved. There is a rift between these two now brothers in Christ, and it cannot remain.

And so Onesimus is left with the decision. Is he willing to do what it takes to heal the divide or not? I loved Brent’s sermon last Sunday because he showed us what this story, what this relationship looks like from Philemon’s perspective. There’s Philemon, he’s serving God in Colossae, and then one Sunday here shows up out of nowhere this runaway slave that had wronged him deeply, Onesimus, carrying a letter with Philemon’s name on it. And in that moment, Philemon has a choice to make, and he is called by Paul and by God to radically forgive his brother.

I particularly liked what Brent had to say about how if we’re going to preserve our fellowship, we need to make sure we are preparing our hearts beforehand to be the kind of people who are willing to forgive when the moment calls for it. This morning, I want to look at this story not from Philemon’s perspective, but from Onesimus’s perspective. Because long before Onesimus shows up at Philemon’s door and he has to make a decision about whether or not he’s going to forgive, Onesimus makes a decision that also goes a long way in preser- preserving the fellowship these brothers share.

Philemon teaches us that we need to radically forgive. Sorry, I lost my clicker. Philemon teaches us that we need to radically forgive, but Onesimus teaches us that if we want to preserve our fellowship with one another, it is going going to require incredible humility. It is going to require incredible humility. Is this thing off? It’s off. Sorry. Let’s see if it works now. There we go. So, what I want to think about this morning is I want to think about the incredible humility of Onesimus.

And And we see that humil- humility in two different ways. The first way is this. He- Onesimus shows humility in the fact that he is willing to return home and go to Colossae in the first place. He is willing to seek reconciliation with his brother in Christ. And I want to be clear about something this morning. That’s no easy task. And we actually need to get this straight that that Onesimus, yeah, he definitely did something wrong to Philemon, but even still, he has the hardest job of anybody in this situation.

He has the tallest task. The most difficult thing is what Onesimus has to do. And there are a couple reasons for that. First of all, Onesimus returning home is such a hard thing because I think we can safely assume Rome had become a very comfortable place for him. Listen to what Paul writes in in Philemon verse 10. He says, “I appeal to you for my child Onesimus, whom I have begotten in my imprisonment.” This is a place where Onesimus had made real relationships and real bonds in Christ.

This is the place where Onesimus had learned the gospel and had begun serving Jesus, and that’s That’s not a small thing. This is where his life changed completely and was transformed. And these people in Rome, Paul and all the people with him, these were the ones who had helped him change. These are the people that he feels comfortable with, the people that he trusts completely. And there are many of you here who probably understand exactly what that feels like because you remember this is the place where you learned the gospel.

That it was Brent or Tony or my grandmother or my grandfather or Mike or Ernie or Brandy or or somebody somebody here found you and they taught you the gospel and this is where you came and you started serving Jesus. This is where you found salvation. And so here at the Decherd Berry Church of Christ, this is where you feel more safe and more comfortable and more spiritually grounded than than anywhere else in the world. I’m sure there are people in the audience like that today.

Imagine. Imagine if I came to you today and I told you, “Hey, I know about your previous life. And 10 years ago, when you were living in wherever you were living, California, Louisiana, New York City, whatever, you wronged somebody. And you need to make that right.” And imagine what I told you is, “Look, you need to leave Decker Prairie. You need to sell your house. You need to quit your job. You need to get on a plane, fly back home, find that person that you wronged, that you never want to see again, and do everything in your power to make that relationship right.”

Please understand. That is exactly what Paul is calling Onesimus to do in this letter. Or before this letter. And actually, what Paul is asking him to do is a lot harder than just that. It’s not just, “Hey, leave everything that’s comfortable and everything that you know, and all these people that know and love you, and go back home.” He’s also asking him to do some do something that requires sacrifice, but also requires a lot of risk. Because going home for Onesimus, it’s not just hard or uncomfortable, it’s dangerous because Onesimus has no idea how Philemon is going to respond when he gets home.

Here’s something that we need to appreciate. That under Roman law, when your slave, when your bondservant runs away from you, you are entirely within your rights to respond with cruelty when you find them again. It is entirely within the realm of possibility that when Onesimus walks through that door, Philemon could respond by seizing him and having him executed. That’s one of the possible outcomes for Onesimus if he chooses to go home. And you may be saying to yourself, “Come on, Jonathan. That’s That’s not realistic. I mean, at the end of the day, we’re dealing with Christians here. Philemon’s a Christian. Maybe other really mean Roman masters would have done that to their runaway slaves, but Philemon’s a Christian.

He’s supposed to be like Christ. He would never do that.” I’m sorry, but in your experience, is it true that Christians always respond like Christ when somebody wrongs them? I understand we may have a little bit more confidence in Philemon, but there’s no guarantee that he’s going to do the thing he needs to do when he meets Onesimus. Remember what Paul says in verse 12, Philemon verse 12, it says, “I have sent him back to you in person, that is sending my very heart.”

And that’s something we need to appreciate that that when Paul sends Onesimus back, he doesn’t send a text, he doesn’t send an email, he doesn’t send a a preparatory letter back to kind of feel Philemon out to see how he’s going to respond when Onesimus shows up. He sends this letter in the hand of the man that it’s about. And he does so with no guarantee that this trip will not end in Onesimus’s death. So, understand, no one in this story has a harder job than Onesimus.

He has to sacrifice everything he knows and loves and cares about. He has to risk everything even up to and including his very life to go home and make things right with a man that he never wants to see again. And yet, despite all of that, that’s exactly what Onesimus chooses to do. He has the humility to go home and find Philemon. And it begs the question, why? If that’s what he’s risking, if that’s what he’s sacrificing, why would he go home just to repair this one broken relationship?

Why not just leave it as it is? Why not just say, you know, “Hey, that guy, he and I don’t really get along. I’m kind of not interested in going back to Colossae. I had a bad experience there. So, I’m just going to stay over here in Rome. I’ll never vacation there again. So, we just don’t cross paths. I’ll never friend Philemon on Facebook or anything like that. Just make sure that we never hang out with each other again.” Why not just do that? Because fellowship matters that much.

That’s what the Bible teaches us. Because Onesimus understands that now the now that he’s a Christian, the Father, Son, and Spirit have brought him into an intimate and close relationship with Philemon. And that relationship matters. He understands that now, despite their distance, they are one. They are both part of the body of Christ. They are brothers. And that is a relationship [clears throat] that God expects for us to take very seriously. In fact, it’s a relationship that is deeper and more meaningful and more real even than the physical relationships that we have here on this earth.

This is something that Brent pointed out last week in his sermon, that the bond we have as brothers and sisters in Christ, it is deeper and more meaningful than even the biological bonds that we have here on this earth. And Jesus taught that explicitly. Mark chapter 3 and verse 33, Jesus said, answering them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” Looking about at those who were sitting around him, he said, “Behold, my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.”

This is a situation where Jesus was teaching and his family came to find him. And everybody in the crowd expects, including his family, “Hey, when his family comes to see him, he’s going to put a stop to this and he’s going to prioritize them because family matters more than whatever these other people are to Jesus.” And Jesus says, “No, not at all.” Jesus says, “What matters more to me than my physical biological relationships are my spiritual relationships.

We need to understand that the relationships we have in Christ are not pseudo relationships. They are not imitations or cheap alternatives that serve as substitutes for the real biological relationships we have. Absolutely not. Spiritual fellowship is more real and more serious even than physical family. And do you know why that is, by the way? Because spiritual relationships are eternal, while physical relationships are are temporal. And you think about why that’s true for Jesus, you understand that Jesus, before he ever had a physical relationship with Joseph and Mary, he had a spiritual relationship with the Father and the Spirit in heaven.

He prioritizes those relationships because he knows they are more real, they are more long-lasting, they matter more because he had them long before he ever had any physical relationship. And so when Onesimus makes this trip home, he does so for the sake of that all-important spiritual bond that we have in Christ. Because he knows it’s worth saving. He knows it needs mending. And he knows that it has to be preserved. That rift between him and Philemon, it cannot stay because now they are one in Christ.

And that’s why this trip is worth the risk. That’s why it’s worth the sacrifice. That’s why he’s willing to risk his life to make this relationship right. And the question we all have to consider this morning is does fellowship matter that much to you? Do you care that much about the bond that you have with your brothers and sisters in Christ that you would risk everything, that you would sacrifice whatever it takes for the sake of preserving that bond or healing that bond when it’s broken?

Cuz that is exactly the example that Onesimus sets for us. He shows us that he has the humility to return home and sacrifice everything to make this right. In the second way he shows his humility is by owning his sin. Understand that when Onesimus goes home to meet Philemon, he makes this trip in the posture and with the attitude of repentance. And that’s striking because that’s extremely rare, isn’t it? We don’t often do that. We don’t often go to that person that we have a rift with totally and completely owning our sin.

I’ll tell you what we normally do. If we do go home and decide we’re going to stop avoiding somebody, if we decide we’re going to face that person that we have a rift with, how do we usually do that? We go home ready to do what? Fight. Ready to fight. We’re not supposed to say it, but we all know it’s true. That’s what we do. And no matter what I did in the situation, no matter how wrong I may have been, that’s what I go home to do. I’m going to get my bullets, I’m going to load them up, and I’m going to be ready to fire that even you may have more bullets than I do. Your bullets may be bigger than mine, but I’m going to take whatever bullets I’ve got to fire at you, and I’m going to go home and I’m going to fight.

And we often justify the things that we did. I shouldn’t have done that, but here, let me explain why I did that. We often sanitize what we did. Yes, I did that, but you’re totally overreacting. That wasn’t that big of a deal. We often rationalize. If you had done the same thing to me, or if I had done the same thing to you, you would have reacted exactly the same way that I reacted. And we often spend our time debating who is more wrong. Yeah, I did some stuff wrong, but but you did a whole lot more wrong than I did.

So, who really needs to be asking for forgiveness here? None of that demonstrates humility. None of that demonstrates repentance. None of that helps to heal the bond and preserve our fellowship. None of that can be seen in the attitude of Onesimus. And let’s not deceive ourselves and tell ourselves, “Well, we don’t see that in Sorry. I knew that was going to happen. Onesimus is a hard name to say over and over and over again. It’s going to happen eventually.

Let’s not tell ourselves that Onesimus’ situation was just uniquely cut and dried. Like, it was just so obvious that he was in the wrong and Philemon was in the right. The truth is that at the beginning of this story, it seems like he’s going to Rome to meet Paul because he feels like he’s got a case. He feels like he’s got an argument. I want to tell Paul what’s going on so he can get on my side and protect me and keep me from getting hurt by Philemon.

The truth is if you or I were in his sandals, even if we were in the wrong, we could have made our arguments and we do, don’t we? Even when we know we’re wrong, we make our arguments about why we’re not. But that’s what makes Onesimus so impressive and so humble. Because even though he may think to himself in some ways that he’s got some arguments against Philemon, he abandons all of that on the journey home. He’s not interested in [snorts] making sure that Philemon apologizes for whatever he did.

He goes home because he simply wants to own his sin and ask for forgiveness. And I think we need to learn to do the same. And to do that, it requires that we demonstrate intense humility. And it requires that we embody the attitude that that Paul writes about in Philippians 2 in verse 3, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves. Do not merely look out for your own personal interest, but also for the interest of others.

Seeking forgiveness means considering that other people are more important than myself. Sometimes seeking forgiveness means that I decide, I make an internal decision, I am not going to fixate on the claims that I have against you. I’m not going to fire the bullets that I may have, that I might be able to fire at you. Instead of what I’m going to focus on is the part of this situation that I know I did wrong. And I’m simply going to ask for your forgiveness for that.

That is the attitude in Philippians 2. That is the attitude that we see in Onesimus. I’m going to focus on what I did wrong and seek forgiveness for that. Now, somebody may stand up and they may say, “Hey, at the That That’s going too far because the Bible does tell us that we’re supposed to point out each other’s faults, right? In Matthew chapter 18 says, ‘Look, if your brother has sinned against you, you need to go to him and show him his Show Show him his fault.’

And and and we need to make sure that if somebody does something wrong, we point it out. And yes, that’s true, but I also want you to appreciate that even in Matthew 18, when it says, ‘Show your brother his fault,’ the point of that is again to consider them as more important than yourself. The point of that is not to extract your pound of flesh, but to make sure your brother gets the forgiveness that he needs, that’s good for his soul. Isn’t that what he says?

Matthew 18 verse 15, ‘If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. If he listens to you, you’ve won the argument.’ What’s it say? You’ve won your brother. You’ve helped him. You’ve helped him get back in a right relationship with you and with God, and that’s what your attitude should have been all along. What we see in Onesimus is a willingness to own his sin. He comes to Philemon not to make a case or to justify, or to rationalize, or to argue, or to extract his pound of flesh, or to spare a fragment of his dignity.

He comes simply to be forgiven. And that kind of humility is powerful in relationship like this. You know what that does? When we are the kind of people who simply say, “I’m not going to come home to argue. I’m just going to come home to ask for forgiveness of my sins.” One thing that does is it makes things really simple for the other person. Isn’t that true? When it comes to Philemon, when Onesimus comes home and says, “I’m not going to fight with you.

I’m just going to come home and seek your forgiveness.” That makes his choice really easy because now all he has to do is not fight and argue and and and and debate and do all of this stuff. All he has to decide is am I going to make the right choice or not? Am I going to forgive or am I going to withhold that forgiveness? Romans chapter 12 verse 17, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” That’s what Onesimus does. He does everything that he can possibly do to be at peace with Philemon.

And now Philemon’s got to make a choice, too. Am I willing to do the same? And I’ll tell you the other thing that it does when you have the humility to seek forgiveness. Is it gives the other person the opportunity to do the same if they need to. That’s what we read later in Romans Romans 12:20-21, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he’s thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

When Onesimus comes home not to fight or argue, but simply seek forgiveness, that gives Philemon the chance to really dig down inside of his heart and ask himself if he was faultless in this whole situation. That attitude, that humble attitude, he would have seen in Onesimus. Those are the burning coals being heaped upon his head. That is the kind of good that can overcome evil, resentment, or unforgiveness in Philemon’s heart. And so, he shows us that we need to have the humility to own our sin. And that is the path to true reconciliation with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Now, I want to be clear that I am not advocating that we should be the kind of people who roll over and act like a doormat whenever a bully comes along and tells us that we’re guilty. Truth matters. And you’re not helping anybody if you just confess phantom sins whenever somebody comes along and tells you that you’ve done something wrong. I’m not saying that. But, what I am saying is that when we have situations like this, we need to make sure that we look into those situations and we do everything in our power to identify whether or not we did something wrong.

And if we can identify wrongdoing on our part, we need to own it. We need to repent of it, and we need to humbly seek reconciliation. And we need to do that even if the other person has a list of wrongs that they haven’t repented of themselves. This is the kind of humility that preserves our fellowship and heals relationships. Onesimus, he was a runaway slave who risked his life, traveled clear across the Roman Empire, and faced the man he never wanted to see again simply so that he could ask his forgiveness.

It is a beautiful example of humility and a beautiful example of how dedicated you and I should be to preserving the unity and the fellowship that God has created in us. Brothers and sisters, do not be content with your rifts. Do not be content with broken relationships within our fellowship. Don’t leave them hanging. Don’t leave them unmended. At the end of the day, if anybody had an argument for why they should avoid this or just leave it hanging or ignore the issue, it was Onesimus.

He’s got a much better argument than you or me. And yet the example he shows us is that he’s willing to do whatever it takes to preserve the fellowship, even if it means traveling clear across the Roman Empire to do it. May we have the same kind of attitude in ourselves. Don’t tell yourself that it’s okay. Don’t tell yourself that it’s too hard. Don’t tell yourself that it cannot be healed. Because it can be. After all, we are the kind of people who believe in impossible restorations because our salvation is based on that idea, isn’t it?

The Bible tells us that when we were too far gone, when it was beyond our power to heal and mend our relationship with God, God sent his son Jesus to die on the cross so that through his death he could reconcile to himself those who were absolutely irreconcilable, you and me. Perhaps your problem today isn’t a rift with people, but a rift with God. Maybe you realize that you haven’t been serving him with your life. You haven’t been living the kind of life that you had. Or maybe you realize that your sins have separated you from God and that is that is a a rift that you cannot heal without the power of Jesus blood.

The Bible tells us how we can heal that rift and what Jesus has done to help us do that. The Bible says that if we believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God, if we’re willing to repent of our sins that caused him to go to the cross and confess our faith before men, then we can be baptized in water to have those sins washed away. We can heal our relationship with God through Jesus. We can do that now. We can help you with that. We invite you to come to the front while we stand and while we sing.