Jesus & 21st Century Cliques

Introduction

Appreciate what Ross had to say about mothers. And I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to make the cardinal mistake with number 472 after his comments, and that would be, we’re going to omit verse 3. That would not have been a time to do that. Of course, as my wife Sherry would say, there’s never a good time to omit verse 3 of God give us Christian homes. And beyond all of getting that right, he’s saying the Amen at the end, which is a particular thing of mine. So wait ago, Ross.

In any of the local works that I have done or brethren with whom I have associated through the years that the term click has not come up. And now it’s coming up.

Whenever someone says that about a group of the Lord’s people, this is not ever mentioned in a positive way, in a positive light. There is always a negative connotation to this term. And the first thing I want to say about this is we need to be careful in employing such a term to describe God’s people because it is so negatively charged, and you are impugning the motives. You are making a judgment about others, a judgment that could well be true, but still, it is a judgment nonetheless, and we talked about that in our class this morning from James chapter 4 and verse 11, when it says, do not speak against one another, brethren. So, whatever judgments we make of others, and especially ones that we espouse to others, we need to be very careful about these things.

And I would further say that what some people think constitutes a click, what constitutes a click in the local church, by that same definition, they could apply this term to the behavior of Jesus himself. And so I want to talk to you for a moment tonight about Jesus and 21st century cliques. Even some of his own disciples, I mean, using the definition that some use, even some of his own disciples could have accused him by the standards they use in judging others. So, I want to ask the question what does the Bible have to say about this and disciple association, and what do we learn from the example of Jesus and his disciples? And certainly there are some very real dangers to avoid in relationships in the local church, and we want to steer clear from those.

From that which would be a violation of the will of God would be sin or transgression on our account. When people use this term, before I go any further, they are expressing some disappointment in their connection with a congregation or their relationship with brethren. Now, what is the cause of that? Are they participants? Are they participatory in the cause of their disappointment? Is there something they should do to help resolve their disappointment? Could it be that some circumstances in their own lives contribute to such a charge being leveled that brethren really have nothing to do with at all? Those are some questions to be entertained. The first thing that I want to do is first give a definition of the word, because a lot of this has to do with semantics.

What people perceive a word to mean.

Someone else might use this term and not think of it as negatively as I do, but to me, this word represents a charge of unchrist like behavior, of behavior that is not consistent with the love that a disciple of Christ should demonstrate. And so in communication, we need to be very clear as to what we mean by something. And to just throw a term out there that is so negatively charged is a dangerous thing to do. Look this word up in the dictionary, and you’ll find a definition like this. An exclusive group of friends or associates. You need to understand the basic definition of the word click. And if I’m going to say, you know, there are cliques in the church at Decker Prayer. That’s what I’m saying is there are people in our group that have an exclusive group of friends or associates, and that means they only revolve within that group and do not ever include others.

That’s the basic meaning of the term. And that’s the charge we’re leveling, and you may not mean it to be that. But that’s in essence what you are saying, and that’s how some will perceive you to be when using this term. It often implies snobbery, selfishness, and animosity toward others. And this isn’t my definition. This is a dictionary definition. There are some related words that are not as negatively charged as the word click. A coterie or a circle of friends. We think if somebody has a circle of friends. But the idea of a click is an exclusive circle that keeps others at bay, if you will. And really, if you look at the very nature of the local church, it is by definition a circle of believers who have a very special association one with another.

1. Jesus and the Multitudes, Twelve, Three, and One

But again, the implication of using this term is that it excludes others. And I would suggest that the way the term has been used when I have heard it, that the same charge could have been leveled against Jesus. Because it is such a negative term. We need to be careful as we employ it. So what about Jesus and his relationship to his disciples? And I want to look at some passages that talk about Jesus’ relationship with first the multitudes and then a more narrow group of the 70, then an even more narrow group, the twelve, and then the three of that group, and then the one. And let’s look at some of these passages. Jesus, of course, cared about the multitudes. He often expressed compassion for the multitudes, and thus he taught them in both Mark 6 and verse 34 and in Matthew 9, verses 35 and 36.

And a particular in this group, it says that Jesus loved children. He gave children access to him. He loved the children. And when the disciples were trying to shoe them away, he said, Don’t do that. And he invited the little children to come unto him. And he used them as an illustration of the kind of humility. That is the nature of his kingdom. But within, but within this larger group of disciples. He selected and commissioned a specific group of 70 to be special envoys on his behalf in Luke 10 and verse 1. And he even selected a smaller group of that than that to be his closest associates and spent a majority of his time working with and teaching among the company of the twelve. And we don’t need to belabor that point.

But what about on the occasions where he only spent time with three of the twelve? I always wondered how that went down, especially when there was all of this strife about rank and who’s going to be what in the kingdom. And James and John’s mother comes and asks for the right hand and the left when Jesus comes into his kingdom, and it says the others were indignant. I got that. And then there were all these other occasions where he did things not with the entire group, the twelve, but with just three people that we’ve called the inner circle. Notice we did not call them the inner clique. But the inner circle of disciples, and we know who they were, Peter, James, and John. And the thing that’s always puzzled me about that, and maybe you’ve had this thought before, is where is Andrew?

I mean, Andrew is the one that comes to Jesus first and introduces Peter to Jesus. And for some reason, on all of these occasions that we read about, Andrew is not present when Peter, his brother, is, and he’s certainly not as impetuous as Peter was. And we have these occasions where there was only Peter, James, and John, suggesting a very close relationship with them. Look at Mark chapter 5 and verse 37. And this was in the raising of Jared’s daughter, is the context. And he allowed no one to follow with him except Peter and James and John. And so the others will say, why don’t we get to see this? Why are we excluded? Here Jesus does something with just three of the twelve. And then you flip over to Mark chapter 9 and verse 2, and the occasion of the transfiguration, actually, this follows the verse we mentioned this morning.

Some of you shall not taste of death until you see the kingdom of God come with power. That’s verse 1. And then verse 2, six days after that statement, he takes with him Peter, James, and John, and brought them up to a high mountain by themselves, and he was transfigured before them. And I gotta tell you, I don’t understand why all twelve of them were not witnesses to the transfiguration. Why those three only? I don’t have an answer for that. As Peter would say, we were eyewitnesses of his majesty in 2 Peter chapter 1, obviously alluding to what he saw in the Transfiguration. I don’t know why it was not significant that the other nine apostles not also witness the event. And then in Mark 14, 32 and 33, this is also puzzling.

Judas, of course, is not with them on this occasion, so there’s only 11 when they go out into the garden after that long discussion recorded in John 13 through 16. And he says, Sit here until I have prayed. And he took with him, then he went a little bit further and takes with him Peter, James, and John. So when he has a he has a more intimate moment as he is very troubled about the crucifixion that’s looming, and he goes out there in the Garden of Gethsemane with his disciples, and for some reason he goes off with Peter, James, and John on this occasion. Do you think the others might have felt excluded because of this? Now remember, Jesus did no sin, neither was there any guile found in his mouth.

I’m just saying, with the standards some people use to judge this matter, perhaps the same charge could be leveled against Jesus. Because of his inner circle, especially when he brings all of the eleven out and then takes three of them and goes a little further in all these other occasions where we see just Peter, James, and John present. But remember, he wasn’t exclusive. He associated with a group larger than the three. He associated with twelve. He associated with the multitudes. He associated with little children, but not on the same level and to the same extent that he did the twelve, and then the three, and then the one.

As we have discussed not very long ago. The beloved disciple, the author of the gospel of John, and we talked a lot about his identity, and that’s not really relevant to this particular lesson, but did not Jesus love all of his disciples. He loved the whole world. He loved the soul of every person. But there was one person in his ministry that was noted as having a closer relationship, and that’s all that can possibly mean, because he loved them all. Says that in John 13 and verse 1. He loved them all to the end. But there was one disciple that he sustained an extremely close relationship to, the beloved disciple. And that phrase is used over and over again, beginning in John 13 and verse 23 at the Last Supper, toward the end of the book.

That’s the first time that it occurs. And where is the beloved disciple on that occasion? As they reclined at the table partaking of the supper, the beloved disciple is leaning against Jesus’ breast. He is situated and sitting right next to Jesus, and Peter even makes inquiry of him when he wants an answer because he’s the one leaning on Jes this very close relationship with this one disciple.

2. Jesus Could Not Sustain an Equal Relationship With All

Best buddies. Best friends. Not exclusive. But a closer relationship than all the others. Let me tell you some things I think we draw from this that are very important. Number one. Jesus could not sustain an equal relationship with all. And if he attempted to do so, he would have been close to no one. And I think that’s one of the problems that creates this mentality of there are clicks in the local church. When you’re not of the closest relationship of someone. And perhaps it’s a relationship that you would really want to have and desire to have. But this person is closer to someone else than they are measuring. You cannot be best friends with everybody. You cannot sustain equal relationships in the local church with everybody.

And I’ll tell you, that’s one of the particular struggles. This isn’t even in my outline. I’m just telling you this. This is one of the struggles I’ve had as a gospel preacher. Because I feel the burden of wanting to connect with everyone.

3. He Was Closer to Some Than Others

But yet, me, like you, I need close friends. I need people that I am close to that I can be close friends with in my life. And somebody might look at that and say, oh, the preacher’s better friends with him than me, or the preacher and his wife. They do a lot more with this couple than that couple. And I’ll tell you, that’s one of the problems preachers face everywhere is this problem of association in the local church. No one can do this. And Jesus did not do this. And the second thing, and somebody might say, beyond that we didn’t even mention this group. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. I would tell you that those three, as a family, that family sustained a closer relationship than probably any other family among his disciples.

So he was closer to some. That’s the second observation. He was closer to some than he was others. And we’ve got to accept that in the local church. That there will be people in the local church that we may like a whole lot and would love to be our best friends, but they’re going to be closer to someone else than they are us, and that’s okay. And I’m getting ahead of myself, and this clicker is going crazy. Alright, go back. There it is. He loved every disciple. Each received the same quality of love, but not the same quantity of time and association. And that’s really where I’m going with this lesson. Is how do you look, how do I look at every single person in this group?

That’s really what this lesson is about. Jesus would look at us all and say, I love every person here. And what do you mean by that? He wants your betterment and your soul salvation. And will do whatever is within his ability to do to make that happen. But ultimately that’s up to you. And that’s the way we all need to look at each other. I want the soul salvation of everyone who is here tonight. And when I have time and opportunity, I want to work toward accomplishing that and helping you with that. But ultimately, that’s going to depend upon you. Jesus loved every disciple, but he did not spend the same amount of time with every disciple. Now, so let’s get to the application in the local church.

4. Every Member's Important in the Body

And I want to look at some passages with you that really talk about the nature of our association with one another. And the first one that comes to mind is 1 Corinthians chapter 12, that deals with the body and its oneness or unity. And the spiritual gifts in Corinth were becoming a source of division, not by God’s intention. They were designed to promote unity because they were receiving the message from God in these different miraculous spiritual gifts, and yet they were all designed to promote a unity in the body. You were all baptized by one spirit into one body. That’s where he goes with that in 1 Corinthians 12 and verse 13. And then after that, he goes to the illustration about a human body and says, the hand can’t save the foot.

I have no need of you. Or vice versa. Now, if the hand says to the foot, I don’t need you, he’s trying to be exclusive. You know, I’m still not going to have anything to do with the foot. Well, good luck walking. You sort of need the foot. And that’s the way the body works from God’s viewpoint. And God even levels the playing field in verse 24. He gives more abundant honor to the member that lacks. And the weaker members, those that may not seem to be as valuable in the local church in terms of what they can offer, their talent and ability, he says he gives more abundant honor to the member that lacks. And so I always talk about this, and you’ve heard me say this on more than one occasion.

Every member’s important in God’s scheme of things. And you might not have in the first century, when you were looking at all those people casting in a lot of money in the treasury, have noticed what Jesus noticed, and that’s the widow that put in her two mites. And he says, You see how special that is. She gave all that she had to live on. And he called his disciples to notice her. Do you think that woman’s important? Absolutely. All members of the body of Christ are important. And that’s one of the attitudes we need to bring to the table in terms of our relationships with each other. And that flows into that there should be no division in the body, and all the members have the same care one for another.

If we’re truly clickish by the definition of that term, and even what it quantitatively means, that would say, I don’t care about you. I’m not concerned about you. I won’t do anything that expresses that I love you. And that I want to help you. And that I want you to be safe. And I’ll tell you, my experience, brothers and sisters, is that’s not the kind of people I have associated with through the years. In every local church, despite the problems that we’ve had, like the problems the church at Corinth had. Despite the problems that we’ve had, there were people who were genuinely striving to be the Lord’s person. Who loved and cared about his people? Not to say that there weren’t some who needed to grow in their attitudes about relationships and needed to work harder, and I’m going to go there in just a second.

Needed to work harder to include those who feel neglected and left out. I think that’s a part of our spiritual maturity as we look at the body is that we’re looking out for, well, I’m going to go there now. We need to be looking out for those that are feeling neglected or on the outside looking in. And because we are growing in spiritual maturity, I want to do something to demonstrate to that person that I care. That I want to assist and help them in some way.

What if everybody thought of this like you did? You know, you have expectations of what these people should be doing in relation to you. But what if they had the same expectations of you? And what you should be doing. You know, a lot of times people are just sitting back and establishing standards for people in terms of behavior and how they ought to react to me, but they don’t have the same standards for themselves. And we talked about that this morning in Luke chapter 6. Whatever you’re expecting of other people to do in relation to you, then you’ve got to do that also. And all of this flows into chapter 13 and what it says about love and how that it’s kind and patient and does not seek its own, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

5. Avoid These Extremes

That’s the kind of attitudes we need to express in the local church. And Romans chapter 12, I would take your attention there, in relation to solving this particular problem of relationships in the local church, it says, let love be without hypocrisy. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Verse 10. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep, verse 15. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. And so avoid these extremes. Number one, establishing a select exclusive group of friends in the local church. Oh, I’m not saying have a close circle of friends. I’m talking about an exclusive group of friends, where all you ever do with members of the body of Christ is the same people all the time.

Get out of your comfort zone a little. Relate to someone else because ultimately I have responsibility to every other member of the local church. And it is impossible for one person to meet all of the emotional and even physical needs that every member has.

And the bigger that flock is, the greater that responsibility is. But they have to show care and concern for every one of us. And sometimes they’re going to need help from us to do some of that work. And we need to see ourselves as helpers of them, and we need to start looking out to shepherd them as well, even though we don’t are officially the shepherds because we have the same care one for another. So avoid this. Grow up spiritually. Look out beyond the people that you are naturally comfortable with. And I’ll tell you who we gravitate toward. It is natural to gravitate toward people who have the same interests as you. Why do you think Peter, Andrew, James, and John were so close? Let’s think about it.

Okay, we got it. They were all fishermen. They had that in common. And so obviously they can talk shop. It’s very easy for them to be. They have the same opportunity. Isn’t it interesting that a local church is that parents of children tend to gravitate toward one another if their children are of the same ages. Isn’t that amazing how that works? And if your children are of a different age, or if you’re empty nesters like Sherry and me, you know, all of that affects the closeness of our relationships. And we just need to accept that. And it’s more than just children. It is the things we like to do, the things we have in common. I mean, some of you have even said, you know, I don’t like sports as much as you do, Tony.

And I get that. And if we’re going to talk about fishing and hunting, I’m not going to be able to contribute much to that particular sporting discussion. And so that’s one extreme. The other extreme is the false accusation of their clickish. Simply because they have a circle of close friendships. Isn’t an exclusive circle. And again, I think this charge is leveled a lot of times. Because there is too much focus on self. And how everybody’s relating to me. The golden rule. As you would have others treat you. So treat them. Remember this morning I said it’s often recited, but difficult in practice. Whatever you’re expecting of other people, do it yourself. And you know what you’ll find? You know, that their circle of friends, it’s they don’t ever include me.

I’m on the outside looking in. Okay, you have expectations of what they need to do. So why don’t you do what you’re expecting them to do? And I have never seen an occasion, never, where the one who is crying click does that. Never. Not one time. And that belies a serious spiritual problem of selfishness.

Conclusion

Let us extend ourselves beyond our closest associations. Close friendships cannot be maintained with everyone. But we need to examine our attitude toward all brethren. Extend beyond your comfortable circle of friends. As we grow in spiritual maturity, we need to be looking out for people who are feeling neglected. And we might say, okay, they’re being spiritually immature. Okay. But let’s see what we can do to help them to grow, to feel more apart of things. But you’ve got to understand something. When people display hospitality, and this actually is a good lesson to follow up with what Steve did last Sunday. When somebody is engaged in hospitality, it is absolutely impossible to invite everybody. That’s impossible. And again, if you have that kind of expectation, then do you have that same expectation of yourself in terms of you extending hospitality to others?

And I thought it could be a very unequal relationship where you invite somebody over to your house a lot more than they ever invite you. Let’s use the Brumfields as an example. I don’t think we can ever catch up with how many times they’ve asked us over, right? I think that’s not possible. But here’s the thing. Are you always inviting the same people all the time? If so, get out of that circle and extend yourself and try to connect at least in some small. Not maybe your best friend in the local church, but evidence that you care. Look for people who are feeling neglected. And every now and then go out to eat with that person. Or invite that person into your home. And particularly notice those who perhaps aren’t blessed with family like we are.

Widows, single people often get overlooked in local churches. And it’s not because people are trying to be mean. There’s a lot of people to think about. There’s a lot of people to care about in this group. And it’s no one person’s responsibility any more than anyone else to show that kind of care and concern. And I’ll tell you what else I want to say in this as I wrap this up tonight. Again, I think that we get so inward looking, whether it be just ourselves and selfishness or the local church, we need to start looking more without to the lost, as Jesse talked about last Sunday night, looking out. And if we were more looking out, trying to reach the lost, I think we would have less of these kinds of problems in the local church.

But let us love one another. By this, all men will know that you are my disciples, John said. Let us walk as he walked. Jesus expressed love for every disciple. And let us make sure that we are doing the same and doing what we can to whatever extent we can to help the Lord’s people thrive spiritually and assist their faith and their growth and their understanding of the will of God. Is there someone in this audience who needs to come to Christ for salvation and cleansing and healing? We encourage you to come right now as we stand and sing together.