Having Faithful Children And A Greater Issue

Introduction

And in regard to the announced topic ahead of time, I’ve been telling you about this sermon that was forthcoming, but simply calling it having faithful children might have given you the wrong idea to some extent. I don’t apologize for that. I like to keep you guessing. But I’m not going to talk a lot tonight about parenting, though the sermon has a lot to do with parenting. I’m not going to talk about all the nuts and bolts of raising kids. But let me just give you parents some insight that I have. And this insight is really directed at the kids and the choices that they make as you monitor them. So pay attention to this. I shared this with you a while back in a sermon where we talked about bad company corrupts good morals and the influence of other people.

I told you the story of Maurice Clarette, former Ohio State running back who had a disaster unfold after one year at Ohio State, ended up in jail. Now speaks to young people having been released from prison, and he tells them this. I saw an interview or at least a clip of one of those times he was talking to kids, and he told them, he says, You show me your friends. I’ll show you your future. And one thing I’ve noticed about young people as they grow up among the Lord’s people is that who their friends are makes a big difference in the choices that they make ultimately.

Keep that up, parents. Make those sacrifices. Okay. Now I’m going to go to the other issue I came to talk about tonight. That does relate to that. This phrase that is found in Titus chapter one, in regard to the qualifications of those who would serve a local congregation as elders. Now, I don’t want you to blank out on me as I teach this. There’s a lot of things involved in this lesson that can be helpful, even if you’ll never serve as an elder, even if your involvement in an elder selection process might be minimal. These are things that are going to be a good Bible study that I want you to take with you, I hope. No, we’re not in a selection process. Sometimes these are the things that get preached about when you’re in the process.

No, we’re not. This is just for your understanding. That’s that’s the only reason why I’m doing this. And no, I’m not tackling all the qualifications of elders. Some of them are very generic qualifications that we understand really well. I mean, I could talk about not a novice for 30 minutes, but I think we sort of get the idea that it needs to be spiritually mature. And so, not a whole lot to say about that, or even some of the others, some of them might require a more in-depth explanation. But I want to focus on just this one. Okay, what about the elders’ kids? And again, this is the Titus address to that subject. So when I talk about that, and we go through all the nuts and bolts of this, and I’ll tell you where I’m at, and that might not be very helpful to you.

But when I tell you where I’m at on all of that, I want to launch from that to a couple of significant closing points, one of which is the greater issue that I want to talk to you about. And then some concluding comments. Okay. Let’s look at the text themselves briefly, by way of introduction. Titus chapter 1, verse 6. He is to be the husband of one wife. That used to be very controversial among brethren. I find that becoming less controversial. I think it’s the idea of him being a one woman man, just like the widow in 1 Timothy chapter 5 is a one man woman. It’s the same phrase in reverse. Whenever you think about the one, you have to think about the other because they’re identical in the Greek.

And so husband of one wife. But I want to focus not on that tonight. That’s just a brief explanation of that. Having children who believe. That is the New American Standard rendering. I did not use that as the title. I used the New King James rendering, having faithful children. Okay? Not accused of dissipation or rebellion. These children who believe, whatever that means, they’re not wild children. They’re not accused of dissipation. And that’s a word that’s used only two other times in the New Testament. One is Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 18. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation or riot, but be filled with the Spirit. That’s a verse I quote a lot of times. It’s also found in 1 Peter chapter 4 and verse 4 in relation to the consumption of alcohol and parties and things like that.

And it says, though you don’t do that, those who do will be surprised that you do not run with them to the same excess of dissipation. And they malign you. Okay, now that’s the Titus text about the children of elders. Having faithful children, having children who believe. What is that? Okay, now you’ve got that. You see that in your mind. You’ve memorized it. You got it, right? 1 Timothy. What does Paul say in the list that’s given to Timothy, if any man aspires to the office of an elder? Verses 4 and 5, he must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity. And then this helpful explanation in parentheses, what’s the point of the qualification? This is really helpful.

But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? I think we can see that in both Titus 1 and in 1 Timothy chapter 3, that the emphasis of this qualification is that he has demonstrated something in the rearing of his children that suggests that he has led, that he has managed, and that he must bring that managerial skill into this role as shepherd or elder. Now that’s the two texts we’re going to talk about tonight. Now we’re going to have ask some questions about these two verses, four questions in particular as we begin. Question number one.

1. Was Timothy's List Sufficient to Appoint Elders?

Interesting responses I’m seeing already. That’s why I paused. If you go with the New King James rendering of Titus 1, they are indeed closer, perhaps. But if you’re using the New American Standard, it seems to me that the 1 Timothy chapter 3 qualification demands something less than the child being a baptized believer. And so one of the big questions that’s raised in the very outset of this discussion. And I know we have both lists, and that’s an argument with the people, but we have both lists. And so we’re supposed to take both lists and make a compilation and decide on the men who should be elders. And that’s true. We ought to consider all of the relevant information in the elder selection process. But was Timothy’s list sufficient for him to appoint elders?

Did Paul add some kind of insertion there? But you also need to consult Titus’s list so you’ll have the whole package so that you will know how you ought to appoint elders. And the same holds true for Titus. Did Titus now, by the way, consult the list that I sent Timothy? I’ll tell you, these thoughts have been rolling around in my mind for a long time. And while we have both lists, Titus had Titus’s list, and Timothy had Timothy’s list, and either should have been sufficient by themselves, even though Titus’s list doesn’t mention not a novice, should have been sufficient for them to place men as shepherds in congregation. That’s an interesting thought. And it certainly then, if we’re going to say that the lists are saying the same thing in regard to children, then those who hold the view that having children who believe or having faithful children is not necessarily demanding that they be baptized believers, they might have a stronger argument if you’re trying to mesh the two lists together.

2. Does Believing Equal Baptized Into Christ?

Okay, now here’s what the text says again, in case you forgot. Having faithful children, having children who believe, children who believe in the new international version, his children are believers, the English standard version. So that raises this question. Does believing equal baptized into Christ? His children must be baptized into Christ. If he has four children, do they all have to be baptized into Christ for him to serve as an elder? And does that, just because they’ve been immersed in water at some point in the past, does that necessarily mean that they are believing now? What if they’re just filling a spot in the pew? What if they are accused of riot and dissipation? And perhaps they’ve not come under enough scrutiny by the church, they’ve not been disciplined, but they’re not really living the lives and going on into spiritual maturity like they need to be.

Well, what are we going to do with Titus chapter 1 and verse 6? The word there for belief or faithful is the word pistos. And it’s used a lot in the New Testament, of course, because it has to do with faith. It’s all over the New Testament, and you’re going to find some interesting uses of this term. For example, God is pistos. God is faithful. 1 Corinthians chapter 1 and verse 9. Now, that’s not he’s a baptized believer. That has something to do with God’s character, right? He is trustworthy, he’s reliable, he’s dependable. Entrust your souls to a faithful creator, pistos. Entrust your souls to a faithful creator in doing what is right. So sometimes when pistos is used, it’s not an exclusive term for one who is put on Christ in baptism and thus has expressed his or her belief.

Sometimes it’s simply a matter of character. Trustworthiness of character. And you’ll see that in such passages like 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 2, and this is interesting, and this is not exhaustive. I’m giving you the short list on this. You’re going to have to research. This could be a very long sermon if I don’t give you just the short list. 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 2, it is required in stewards that a man be found faithful. Well, of course, in regard to stewardship of God’s things, we’d be talking about a believer in Christ. But the idea is in regard to his character that he’s trustworthy and that he’s dependable. But later in 1 Corinthians chapter 4, and sometimes when the word pistos is being used, it’s not just about having a faithful or trustworthy character.

It obviously involves the fact that this person has expressed believing in God or belief. Look at 1 Corinthians 4 17, and I actually texted somebody, and let me just say, this sermon tonight flows out of a very lengthy text exchange that I had a little over a month ago with four other gospel preachers, all of whom are younger than me. And I charged in at the last second since they included me and gave some things and asked some questions. And so ever since then I’ve been thinking about this sermon. Okay, this is not a Johnny come lately, he came up with it this week. Okay, so we’re going to this long, lengthy text exchange about this. And they were talking about all these passages. And so I texted one of them yesterday, so what do you think of, or earlier this week?

What do you think about verse 17? I didn’t get a reply. But where it says, For this reason I have sent to you Timothy, who is my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. And there’s the word pistos, faithful child in the Lord, and he will remind you of my ways which are in Christ, just as I teach everywhere in every church. So when Paul calls him my faithful child in the Lord, okay, is that referring to his the fact that he’s a baptized believer? Is it referring to his character that he’s trustworthy and reliable? Or might I suggest both. I can go, I can go either way both on that. In 1 Corinthians 4 and verse 17. The faithful person in the parable of the talents story, you’ve been faithful over a few things.

The point of that story is not that they’re believers in God. The point of the story is that they’ve been faithful in their stewardship, the things that have been entrusted to them to take care of. And so again, it’s the idea of character. But then there’s this, and again, you’re not going to come to a conclusion here, I guess, in John 20 and verse 27. Thomas, reach hither your finger, be not unbelieving, but believing. Pistos.

Embrace the truth about me as the risen Lord. So I’ll just make this observation. This is why I don’t think this is a conclusive argument. This term can be used in both ways in the New Testament. So the question is, how is it being used in Titus chapter 1 and verse 6? Is it simply speaking to the kind of kids they are, or must they be baptized believers? And again, they may have been baptized at some point in the past, but what are they doing now? Are they progressing as Christians? And really the greater question is, what kind of leadership is the Father displaying in the home? I think that’s the point of both of these qualifications. If he cannot manage his own house, how can he take care of the house of God?

What kind of leadership is he demonstrating in his life? What exactly are the circumstances in the home? Now that I’ve muddied the waters with all of this, and more and more of my brethren are taking the view, at least by my perception, this is what’s happening, taking the view that they don’t have to be baptized into Christ, but they have to be obedient, disciplined, respectful to their fathers, trustworthy kids. I’m just telling you, that’s what more people are believing. And again, majority of the good, I preached safety in numbers this morning. I thought that would apply to this subject. What everyone else believes or majority believes doesn’t prove anything necessarily. But when we let me talk about this. When we go to appoint elders, how often is this really an issue?

It is sometimes.

And so this problem usually takes care of itself. But there are some cases that develop that are what we might call marginal cases. And I’m not going to be able tonight. And if this is what you were looking for, as I started talking about it, Tony’s going to tell us what to believe. Now that’s dangerous, first of all.

As an example, you know, his dad has served as an elder in Pasadena at the Southside Congregation for quite a number of years here. Well, I’m talking about Jared and Jordan, incidentally, who have both worshiped with us. Because Glenn Bowman was a righteous man. People respected him. Here’s a man who’s soon going to be an elder of the Lord’s church. His three boys have been baptized into Christ. Here’s the perfect candidate. And then they have Jordan. I mean, we know Jordan as a young man who married Kim, but when he was born, he has these three older brothers. They obey the gospel. Now you got this kid at home, this little baby. How is this going to affect how a congregation views Glenn as an elder?

3. Must the Elder Have More Than One Child?

He’s got one at home who has not been baptized. So, I mean, if we’re going to take this point to the extreme, his children must be believers, that means they must be baptized into Christ. Is he going to have to wait until that last child, Jordan, finally obeys the gospel? And he did, thankfully, before he can serve as elder. Okay, that’s one of the questions. The other question is, must the elder have more than one child? That was more commonly debated than the issue I’m talking about tonight, way back when. Plurality of children. Ever since H. E. Phillips’ book, which was the quintessential classic on the qualifications of elders, suggested that you needed more than one child, that was the common view held among brethren. I would say that’s diminishing.

Because of 1 Timothy chapter 5 and verse 4 and similar passages, which talk about a widow having believing children, they are to first requite their parents, so that the church isn’t burdened with taking care of those parents. Well, what if you only have one child? Are you exempt? I’m not a part of children, I’m just one child. Or if someone asks you the question, do you have children, and you only have one child, once the answer to that question? No, I don’t have children. No, that’s not the right answer. You say, Yes, I have children. I have a child. And the Greek words and the Hebrew word for sons works the same way. And again, that’s an exhaustive study, and we can go throughout the Old Testament.

There’s one place I know in Chronicles that says, This guy’s sons, and only one is listed. And these passages of children obey your parents in the Lord. If I’m an only child, I don’t have to, because I’m only one. You know, when you start running that children idea, and it’s a commonly people have more than one child. That was true in New Testament times. That’s true. Not always the case. But usually they have more than one child. This is not about X’s and O’s. I have one child, or in the case of the Olympics, you have eight or nine children, and so you can demonstrate this many times over. And Sean and I actually have been talking about this. One of the arguments that used to be made about believing children and the number of children is well, if you have more than one, you have more experience with different personalities.

Now, let me say that’s true. Okay? I have two kids, very different personalities. Raising the one kid’s not like raising the other. And if you have three or more, yes, they’re shaking their heads. Yes. Three or more kids. Three or more different. Even if you have triplets, as three of the four. You have all these different personalities, it’s not like raising the same kid. And so maybe if he has multiple children, he’ll have more experience. The answer is yes, of course he will. But may I suggest to you that raising children is not the same as shepherding adults. 200 of them, let’s say. You can have 12 more kids, Sean. But raising all those kids. Don’t try that, John. Raising all those kids is not the same as hurting adults.

4. Must the Children Be Faithful Perpetually?

Yeah, you get some experience with that. But I don’t think the point of the qualification is his experience as much as it is he has demonstrated the ability to lead and manage those kids. And I take that, of course, from the 1 Timothy text. So the final question. Must the children be faithful perpetually? Alright. Now before I answer that question, I want to get to this chart. I didn’t really know how to put all of this in the graphic and what to do first, so I’m going to go ahead and throw this chart out here. We’ve looked at the text and what it says, and what are the potential meanings? I went with the New King James translation here because it sort of opens the idea of both of the main views that we’re talking about tonight.

I’m going to give a confident answer that only one child would be necessary to meet the qualifications of Titus 1 and 1 Timothy chapter 3. And so he can serve if he has one or more child. One or more children. But here’s the other potential meetings that we’re talking about. Potential meaning number two. Those Christians, they must be Christians, they must be baptized believers. As that’s what that is what is meant in Titus 1 and verse 6. And if that’s what you think Titus 1 6 is saying, I think you have a little bit of a concern in 1 Timothy chapter 3, because it’s not saying that. Not clearly, not specifically, in 1 Timothy chapter 3. But there are a couple of offshoots of this position, and this one’s a minority view, but I’ve heard it that the children must still be in the home.

I mean, he, if your children are already, I actually knew a guy that believed if the children are no longer in the home, he couldn’t be a shepherd. I think that argues against his experience, actually, because while the children are in his home, he’s younger. But that’s one of the views. Don’t really hold a lot of stock with that. But then this view, which was very popular in the congregation in Auburn where I was before I came here. In fact, they held this, some of them held this tenaciously. I mean, this was almost a matter of fellowship. Might have been. I don’t know. Almost a matter of fellowship with them. That if you have a grown child who becomes unfaithful to the Lord, we’ll just throw out a number, 40 years old.

Because there was a case of a man who served as elder in this congregation, whose grown son, who was a preacher, became an adulterer. And continued in that sinful course. I don’t know where he is now, but was at the time.

Just because a child sins, even while the child is still in the home, that is not necessarily a reflection on the failures of the parent. Now, all parents fail in some ways or other ways. But all children sin and fall short of the glory of God, and that’s not a reflection on poor parenting necessarily. I know we try in our communication age with cell phones and all of that to monitor our kids and where they are, put that app on their phone where you know where they are at all times. But I want to tell you, if kids want to get around that stuff, they’ll get around it. And children will commit sin. Is that we did? Is that a reflection on the parents? In the case of this four years, I mean, it would mean every time that I sin, even though my dad lives a thousand miles away, every time that I sin now, that’s a reflection on my father and his poor management in our home.

You think about the implications of that. That’s absurd. And we could ultimately blame our father in heaven for not being a better father for all of our transgressions. Is that really going to work? I don’t think that’s the idea of this passage at all. This qualification is more about his leadership and the home, not the status of his adult children. Though you might have some concerns, and again, you have to take each case of every man who would be considered. You might have some concerns if he’s had several children, and none of those children are serving the Lord in adulthood. You might have a concern there. I mean, I don’t know all the particulars of his house and how it operated, how it functioned, but none of his kids serve the Lord.

I don’t think that necessarily disqualifies him, but I’m just saying it might raise some questions. I’m not going to be able to say something tonight that every case that comes up will have the right answer. Okay? We’re trying to deal with this text and what it’s saying and drawing conclusions. So that leads me to the third question that we raised. And this is the view that I think is growing among brethren. The father must demand respect in his home, display leadership, and his children follow. His children are trustworthy under him. And I remember texting back in this text exchange. So how do you explain having children who believe or having faithful children? Again, that translation, the New King James works better with potential meaning number three.

Faithful children. So how do you, how does that mesh with 1 Timothy chapter 3? Because I don’t see, if you mean, if believing means they’ve been baptized into Christ, I don’t necessarily see that in 1 Timothy 3. But if you see faithful as trustworthy under him, that does actually mesh better with the 1 Timothy account. That we see keeping his children under control, managing his own household well. That fits that better. Okay, so which way are you which way are you leaning? Question mark. Which way are you going with that? Now I’m pretty much done teaching about that. You can think about this, weigh these things. Again, we’re not in an elder selection process. Study this on your own. Work with that word pistos. But I’ll say this.

5. The Greater Issue: Take Care of the Church of God

Usually, when you have this, usually those kids obey the Lord. And usually they continue in obedience into their adult lives. But maybe not in every case. Alright. Now let’s get to the greater issue. I told you there was a greater issue, right? I hope you didn’t miss this in the 1 Timothy account when we were looking at this. Because it’d be a shame if all we’re focused on is faithful children, faithful children, faithful children, and miss this, what I think is a greater issue, and it’s this phrase right here. If he can’t manage his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? Let me tell you why I preach this sermon. I told these guys, these young, these young bucks I was texting.

I told these guys this is what I’m going to do. They say, hey, good point. I told you that this issue affects relatively few situations that come up when elders are being selected. Let’s just say in some place in some congregation, they take a looser view than you think they should. And they point a man whose children are one of those tough situations about their faithfulness to the Lord and about this qualification. They say they put this in. They think he’s qualified. They put him in. And each congregation’s got to make these decisions. How they’re going to deal with the text and try to deal with the text faithfully and not try to get around the instruction. We need to be careful, not trying to circumvent the instruction in any way.

We’re trying to be faithful to the instruction, and so we put this guy in. Some congregations would say his children don’t meet the qualifications. Some would say, yes, he does. They put him in. He does the work well. Marginally qualified? Possible. He does the work well. Let me just tell you this. We can emphasize this for hours and hours and hours and fight about it, wrangle about it. But you know what’s caused more problems among the people of God than that. Men who were appointed to this work, all three kids have been baptized into Christ, and they kill and destroy local churches. And that is a far greater problem than anybody who has ever been installed because they have this marginal family situation. And I have some thoughts about that I’m not sharing in this lesson about these lists and how they ought to be approached.

I think we get too big into this X’s and O’s and having, you know, everything rigid. I think we’re just too rigid about it. I really do. But I’ll tell you what the greater issue is. Men who have been appointed to this task who have lost sight of what it means to take care of the church of God, and they follow their own will and desires and put them above the welfare of the local congregation and they make minority decisions and lord it over the flock. I want to tell you there has been far more damage among the people of God with that than this qualification of having faithful children and what it means.

Churches have thought about this stuff. Gotten upset and sideways with one another. And how many souls have been in the destructive path of terrible leaders who didn’t understand what it means to be an elder. What it means to be a shepherd. And so that’s what I want to emphasize with you. Young people, young men, as you one day will pursue this work, and a congregation is going to want you to shepherd them. I want you to understand what it means to be a shepherd. And 1 Timothy 3 says he’s going to have to take care of the church of God. Elders must never lose sight of that mission. We’re not elders so that we can have respect and everybody admire us because I have arrived spiritually.

We’re not elders so that everybody will look up to me as a spiritual giant. We’re not elders so that I can get my way in the local church. Elders are entrusted with souls and caring for them and nurturing them and doing their best to strive to save them. Get this. This is the point of the sermon. I talked about faithful kids a lot. Elders take care of the church of God. And I have seen far too many elders whose kids have been baptized into Christ, who did not get this. And I’ve seen churches hurt. I’ve seen decisions made that were terrible. That did not take into consideration the flock that they shepherd. Please understand what this work is. And I cannot preach this lesson without saying one more thing.

We have men who get it. And we need to be thankful for that. I have seen things in our elders that I have never seen in other elderships that demonstrate how much they care for our souls. That they would that they would travel to equip themselves to be better counselors. I mean, that’s not a must. But they do that because they want to help. They care about souls. And how many meetings have I been, and how many email discussions have I had with them where we’re talking about souls and the best thing that can be done to save and save souls and help souls and help people go to heaven. I want to tell you, yes, they make other decisions, but that is their focus.

And I don’t say that merely to pat them on the back. I say that for us to respect and pray and be thankful for them. Because they get it.

And I can’t tell you, they get tired. And as a preacher, I understand that. There’s a fatigue that goes with the kind of work I do and the kind of work that they do. And sometimes you don’t know where the next ounce of strength is going to come from, but the Lord, the Lord will help you. I didn’t know it was going to get emotional. But I guess because they get it. They care about the direction we’re going.

Conclusion

And that is so important. Young guys. Don’t ever forget what the work of shepherding is. And what an awesome responsibility it is. If you’re ever called upon to do this work. I love this picture. Because that’s what the illustration is. The shepherd overlooking the sheep. Concerned about their welfare, concerned about their safety. That’s the illustration. And are you numbered among the sheep? That’s how this lesson ends. You need to be in this flock. It’s the flock of safety.

And bring yourself under the care of God and in the care of men who will shepherd your souls to heaven. And we want to assist them in this great work. And we want you to be ready for the last great day. Won’t you come if you need to respond while we stand and sing?