Grievances

Introduction

As I announced this morning, this is the second in two Terry spinoff lessons from his week with us as we talked about the prodigal son. I asked him if he had more sermons on the prodigal son than the ones he presented. He said, Oh, yeah, I can go Sunday through Friday. So he said, I said, well, then I can’t add my two to yours series. Oh, yeah, send them. I might like yours better. But we’ll we’ll see if that’s the case. Tonight, I want to look again at the end of the parable of the prodigal son or the loving father in Luke chapter 15. And I would like to look at a statement that is made by the elder brother in relation to his son coming home safe and sound, as we talked about this morning.

Of course, he represents this elder brother, the poor attitudes of the Pharisees who are grumbling about Jesus, associating with sinners, and they are not rejoicing over the fact that people are coming to the source of salvation. But he answered and said to his father, the elder brother said, Look, for so many years I have been serving you, and I have never neglected a command of yours. Now, that may be true. Of course, this is a story that Jesus is telling, but at least this is his perception. I have a hard time believing this, would actually be the case. I have never neglected a command of yours, and yet you never gave me a kid. You never celebrated like you’re celebrating this reckless son who’s come home, that I might be married with my friends.

But when this son of yours came, who has devoured his wealth with harlots, which he may or may not have done, but he has spent it on riotous kind of living. It might have included that. Maybe he’s right about that. Who has devoured your wealth with harlots? You killed the fattened calf for him. Now the response of the father is, my child, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to be merry and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live and was lost and has been found. And so I told you, I wanted to talk tonight about grievances, and that’s how it relates to the story of the prodigal son. The elder brother had a grievance with his dad in relation to his brother who had asked for his inheritance and then went out and squandered it all and now comes back home, and the father celebrates his return.

The elder brother had a grievance, and that grievance seemed reasonable to him.

Don’t get me started tonight. I really thought this was going to work perfectly, that I could go into my rant about being an offensive coordinator for Auburn, because that’s been my rant throughout the year. If I could just be the offensive coordinator, but apparently he got it together last night. But if it’s not the offensive coordinator, look, make me the defensive coordinator, or better yet, make me the head coach. I mean, us armchair quarterbacks, I mean, we have all the answers for the plays that should have or should not have been run. And so often when I’m watching football, I have a grievance. I was about to have a grievance tonight when I saw the paltry nature of our crowd on a Sunday night. I hope you’ll remember like last Sunday night we had like record attendance for the visiting preacher.

And so when the local preacher, it’s his turn to go on Sunday night, there’s open spaces everywhere. But thankfully some of y’all came in at the last second and filled in some of the spaces. That makes me feel a little better anyway. And I know that there were some unique circumstances to all of that. And again, if you want to talk about grievances, I have, I could talk to you a lot about managing road construction. Somebody needs to put me in charge of that.

And more than a few times, it’s like they have this down to one lane during rush hour? Are you kidding me? Can’t they do this in the middle of the night? We have lights. I’ve seen it before. And the grievances go on and on. Well, as I thought about the grievance and the fact that everybody has them, I have seen in local churches and among the Lord’s people the problem of grievances.

1. Grievances About the Local Church

And so I want to talk to you a little bit about the grievances that people have. And I want to talk about it first tonight in regard to the local church. Every place I’ve ever been, to some extent or another, there were people who had grievances about the local church. Something that’s just not functioning the way that it should, some decision that was made that should not have been made, someone who had slighted them or mistreated them, and the list goes on. I have a grievance. And there is no questioning the legitimacy of some grievances that people have.

This is danger. Perhaps it is a leavening influence in the local church that is being tolerated that’s affecting the local church. And while those are legitimate, and we probably could name some others, it has often been my experience that a lot of the grievances that people have about the local church really don’t matter a whole lot in the whole scheme of things. Brethren can get sideways with one another. I heard of an account recently where a leader in a congregation was taking on another very visible member of the congregation in a public kind of confrontation over something that should definitely not have been handled in that way in that place in front of the brethren. One brother dressing down another in front of other brethren over an issue that really should have been handled behind closed doors.

But we can get all been out of shape about who wrote a particular book in the Bible where the author is not clearly specified. Which one of several plausible alternatives best explains a particular verse? Like this morning, we had a tough one in Deuteronomy 14 and verse 26. That was a tough one. Whether Moses was actually blaming the people for his failure to enter the promised land, we discussed that at length. Not that we had a big squabble about it, but we discussed the possibilities about those statements in Deuteronomy. Or whether it’s Jephthah’s vow actually meant that he offered his daughter as a literal burnt offering sacrifice, or as some would hold, that she became a perpetual virgin because of the vow, the rash vow that Jephthah made.

And I tell you, in regard to that thing, I’ve seen it argued both ways. I have friends on this side and friends on this side, and I’ll stick with my friends. I mean, that’s a tough one. But really, I mean, whether he did or he didn’t, he fulfilled his vow. Whatever had to be done to fulfill his vow, whether he should have fulfilled it or not, that’s what he did, and that’s what the story says. And why should we fight about that? What practical ramifications does that have in my daily walk, other than if I’m not acting Christ-like over it? And that’s what I’m saying. A lot of the grievances that people have don’t matter a whole lot. And let’s talk about the elder brother’s grievance in the Luke 15 story.

I mean, that grievance was about fairness and about justice. This is not a fair situation. And he may have been right about that. Perhaps the son coming back after he squandered his part of the inheritance is now inching in upon his inheritance by his return. Maybe it lessens his inheritance in some way. He may be right about that, but here’s my answer to that. So what? So your inheritance is less. It’s not actually going to come down as Terry told us two thirds for the older brother, one third for the younger brother, who squandered his one third, and now he’s he’s sort of creeping in on the two thirds of his brother by returning home. Maybe that’s happening. So what?

And I say that from Luke chapter 12. Remember, there was a fellow that came to Jesus and wanted Jesus to be an arbiter, and in his inheritance matter with his brother. He won’t divide the inheritance with me. And Jesus said, okay, I can fix that. No, it’s not what he said in Luke 12. If you go over there and look, he said, beware of covetousness. A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of a thing which a person possesses. Now the Pharisees were lovers of money, we learn from Luke chapter 16, the next chapter, so maybe that’s why he painted the elder brother the way he did in chapter 15. But then in that Luke 12 text where he says about dividing the inheritance, beware of covetousness, he goes on to tell the story about the rich fool.

Remember that one? The guy who had so much stuff, he was going to tear down his barns, and I will build bigger barns to store all of my stuff. And you know how the story ends, right? When he says, You fool, this night your soul will be required of you. So is the man who lays up treasures for himself on this earth. And so let me tell you about inheritance. When it comes down to my sisters and I, if for some reason, the way my parents are going, they may outlive me. But if we ever sit down at the table to discuss my parents’ stuff, you know, if it doesn’t come down as we do in our culture, generally 33, I have two sisters.

But if it doesn’t actually get settled out all that way, and we start parceling up the material items, and my sister said, Oh, I’d like to have that, I’d like to have that. I would like to think, I would say, no big deal. No big deal. It’s just stuff. And so there’s a point to be made in regard to the elder brother about what is fair and what is just. Really, in the whole scheme of things. Is it worth being in a fuss about? And that’s what Jesus is saying in Luke chapter 12. And now getting to a little bit more serious grievances. Let me suggest who’s promoting a lot of the unnecessary grievances that people have. I mean, they get really intense, they think this is really important, but really, when you boil it all down, it’s not really that huge in the whole scheme of things.

2. Who's Promoting Unnecessary Grievances

Let me tell you who’s behind that, promoting all of that. And we learn that from the example of the Apostle Paul in relationship to Corinth. When you read 2 Corinthians, there are some serious things affecting Paul’s relationship with the church that he had helped to start. They were really sideways with the Apostle Paul. And there were all kinds of charges. We can read between the lines, some things he actually says that they were saying, like, he is contemptible in appearance. Paul actually had been through so much persecution bodily, physically, was not very impressive of a figure. Maybe hard to even look at.

Not only was it his physical presence, but his speech, he was not necessarily very eloquent of speech, but he was very strong in his letters. They say, Oh, he’s very mild and meek mannered when he’s in our presence. But when he writes these letters, he gives us scathing rebukes. So he’s very inconsistent. He says he’s going to do one thing, he does something else. He vacillates. And he has to deal with all of these charges. And by the way, if he was a real apostle, he would accept money. Like the other guys did. And he seems to answer that charge in 2 Corinthians chapter 11 when he says, I robbed other churches to do you service. I didn’t want to be a burden to you. I receive my support from elsewhere.

He is saying. And the reason why I know the devil is behind all of that, they are now restrained in their affections for the apostle. They are questioning his legitimacy as a representative of Jesus. Here’s the Apostle Paul. I mean, we have the Apostle Paul on a pedestal up here, right? Somehow these false apostles, these deceitful workers, are questioning, causing them to question the apostle Paul’s legitimacy as an apostle. And when Paul talks about that in chapter 11, he says, and no wonder. You know, you’re believing what these false apostles are saying, these deceitful workers, and he says, and no wonder. For Satan transforms himself into an angel of light. 2 Corinthians 11 and verse 14. And when he does that, and when the devil promotes this conflict, unnecessary grievances among the Lord’s people, this division is what he’s after.

3. Members Say and Do Things They Should Not

We need to be careful lest we find ourselves pawns of his in our grievances. Let me say about the local church. Sometimes members say things and do things they should not. They stumble again. Sometimes in what we would consider a huge way. But all sin is huge. All sin is significant. Well, if these people were what they claim to be, that would never happen. I mean, are you reading the New Testament? Christians struggled. At times they fell short still of the glory of God and needed to repent and come to their senses, and they were forgiven. As we talked about Simon the sorcerer this morning, who found himself in the gall of bitterness and bondage of iniquity, but it sure seems he didn’t stay there. So if you think this is going to be an arena, this refuge we talked about this morning, where everybody always behaves perfectly all the time, you’re going to have a grievance.

And beyond that, brethren will not always act in a way that pleases you or satisfies you. They will not always agree with you on everything. Preachers do not always say everything absolutely perfectly. Boy, I wish I could. I wish I had an ability that every time something rolled off my tongue, it was always the absolutely most perfect way to say it. They don’t always do that. I don’t always do that. But you know, sometimes when I don’t just word it exactly the way I really wanted to word it, most of the time, this audience, you get it. Preachers in their attempt to present the whole counsel of God may not always present easy to listen to lessons.

I will.

Whatever it is, he somehow finds a way to get involved in that. And let me remind you something about elders. And I can’t leave them out. They’re not our shepherds because their judgment is always spot on about everything. That’s not why they’re our shepherds. A lot of the things that people focus on as grievances really don’t matter a whole lot. It becomes more about personality. Injecting our ego. You know, when there’s a disagreement about something, it could be just a passage or an interpretation of a verse or some view or thought that someone has. But because someone disagrees with me in the fact that it might get a little tense or animated, then we inject ego into the situation, and I must be right because it’s me.

4. Do Not Complain, Brethren, Against One Another

Beware of getting ego into the grievance. It’ll become something other than the issue. So here’s what I want to warn you about that a lot of the things that people have grievances about are just personal preferences, things that they wish would have gone a certain way or someone would do a certain way. And really, issues from a skewed perspective. I want to give you a verse to look at this week and to take home with you is James chapter 5. As I was preparing this lesson, may I recommend these verses to you? Be patient, therefore, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. Verse 8, you too be patient. Strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. Do not complain, brethren against one another, that you yourselves may not be judged.

Behold, the judge is standing right at the door. As an example, brethren of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord, many of whom were mistreated, is the point of that text in James chapter 5. But I want you to particularly focus on verse 9. Do not complain, brethren, against one another. And that’s what the elder brother is doing in Luke chapter 15. He’s complaining about his brother who has actually come home and been forgiven of his reckless ways. And the judge is going to stand at the door. That’s exactly what Jesus is warning about in that story. Okay, sometimes things are less than ideal, but may I suggest when that’s the case that you focus on the positives. And I think that’s what Paul is saying in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5.

When he says, esteem those who work among you in verses 12 and 13, he said, Admonish the unruly. Okay, now he didn’t say discard the unruly. Get rid of them, their problems. Discard the no, he says, admonish the unruly. Encourage the faint hearted. That’s not an ideal situation. They’re faint hearted. He says, encourage them. Some are weak, help them. Be patient with all men. Don’t repay evil for evil. That means somebody may have done you evil. But always seek after that which is good for one another. Someone fails, someone fails you. Do good to them. Rejoice always. Wait a minute. Things are less than ideal. Rejoice always. What should I do in every circumstance? Rejoice. What should I do in every circumstance? Pray without ceasing, he says.

What should I do in every circumstance? Be thankful. This is God’s will for you. And so if Paul is not saying anything else in 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, take your attention off the negative. Focus on the positives. Move things toward a positive. And boy, I could go on and on, but I won’t. Don’t let your grievances fester.

5. Grievances in Marriage

What if everybody used your standards to create their grievances? Would we just be a church of grievances? Everybody’s got a list of 100 grievances in regard to the local church. We’re recovering sinners here, folks. And I’ll tell you, that also I think affects, and I had to make this point. I couldn’t leave it out. I’m not going to stay here very long. But I think this happens in marriage, too. No one can live up to the demands of perfection. And sometimes I think we walk into marriage because we’re so googly-eyed about this other person that it’s just going to be absolutely perfect. They’re going to meet every whim and no, they’re not. And what’s perfection anyway in this relationship? I’ll tell you, it’s whatever I deem it to be.

A lot of that issues from self. We’ve made ourselves the standard. As Terry talked about, maintaining a list of grievances will never bring you to a better place in your marriage. If you wanted to do that, it would be very little effort to just have a list of grievances. And that’s why love does not take into account a wrong supper. It’s not about keeping score. And I’ll tell you this problem of self entering into relationships, instead of it being you’re not pleasing me, instead, we ought to approach marriage. How can I please you? Now I’ve said this many times, and I don’t apologize for saying it again. That’s what 1 Corinthians 7 is teaching, by the way. The husband is concerned about the things of the world, how that he may please his wife.

The wife is concerned about the things of the world, how that she may please her husband. And that said in contrast to the one who’s living a single life like Paul, who can set his focus completely on spiritual things. But if you’re married, you have other responsibilities. And in the midst of that statement, he says, let me tell you how this works. The husband tries to please the wife, the wife tries to please the husband. And yet so often it’s about you’re not pleasing me. And so where’s the focus? It’s all on me.

That’s why marriages don’t thrive. That’s why they don’t improve. That’s why deep and lasting friendships aren’t forged. Because I’ve got a grievance and don’t get me started. And I’ve got several. That’s actually Sherry. I’m speaking for her now. If you want to play the you’re not pleasing me game, that could go on forever. But that’s not how marriage thrives. You look at your spouse. I want to make her situation better. I want to help her. I want to assist her. I want her to be happy. I want to please her. Well, wait a minute. What if, what if she doesn’t do the same thing toward me? I don’t see that verse in scripture, do you? I see Jesus acting in such a way that he wanted to do the best for everybody.

He didn’t get treated so well in the process. So, yeah, it may not be reciprocated, but you know what? You’ll be like the Lord.

So we said, Well, that’s a very vulnerable situation, it is. But the Lord was vulnerable. But who knows? You may just, like keeping coals of fire on their head in Romans chapter 12, talks about overcoming evil with good. By your example, who knows? The spouse might just catch on. And over time, you might see that kind of behavior working in them. Okay. So I talked about grievances in our marriages, grievances in the local church. But here’s the thought for me that sparked all this. Some grievances are legitimate, both in marriage and in the local church. Now, a lot of them aren’t, but some of them are legitimate. And let’s say you even have a legitimate one. Would you? Would you remember something? And this is the point of all of it.

6. Have You Ever Grieved God by Your Sin?

Have you ever grieved God by your sin? You ever think there’s an occasion where God has had a grievance against his rebellious creation? How many times throughout Scripture? We’ve seen it in the book of Deuteronomy. You’ll see it in the book of Isaiah. He said, I don’t want your worship anymore. You have multiplied sacrifices, but you have sin on your hands. God has a grievance throughout history. God has had grievances with his people who have rebelled against him and sinned against him. And the list goes on. Isaiah chapter 1. And there’s an interesting verse in Ephesians 4 and verse 30, where Paul talks about not grieving the Holy Spirit. I’m not sure everything that’s involved in that, but in the context, he’s talking about behaviors like letting anger get out of control, having bitterness and wrath in our hearts.

When we don’t live consistently with the instruction of the New Testament, we grieve our God. And maybe that’s why Peter said, don’t forget the purification of your former sins. That’s one of the reasons why we leave off in spiritual growth, is we forget where we came from. Don’t forget where you came from. My sin grieves God. And Terry was talking about this, and I think it’s important to reiterate. It’s not just when somebody commits what we call the big sins. Somebody makes a wreck of their marriage and a wreck of their lives by adultery or chemical abuse or whatever it might be. And sometimes when those wrec happen, the situation is not recoverable. The situation can’t be fixed, and if it is fixed, it’s going to take a long period of time to get to a better place.

Horrible pain is caused. Horrible suffering. But we should also understand that when we harbor bitterness and hatred in our heart for another, we are just as guilty. It grieves the Holy Spirit no less. People will be lost on the day of judgment, not because they committed adultery, not because they engaged in homosexuality, but simply because they did not love others. If we do not love Him whom we can see, how can we love God whom we cannot see in 1 John 4, 20 and 21? It doesn’t have to be a big sin. I can hold others in contempt and sow discord among God’s people, and that grieves our God. I can grow negligent in prayer and meditation upon his word. I can give in to passion and lust for what is not mine.

I can exalt the wants of self in my relationships and not pursue love. I can exalt my pleasure and leisure over the worship of Him and commitment to His people. People do that all the time. And I will tell you, that grieves God. And I may have some grievances, but those grievances are great. I want you to consider the number of times you’ve fallen short of the glory of God and the extent of those transgressions. How many times have we grieved our God? And when you consider that, just perhaps we might be able to generate a little more compassion, a little more mercy, a little more understanding and patience with those grievances that we have.

Conclusion

What about God’s grievances with our sin? I want to suggest to you in conclusion that’s probably one of the greater reasons that we’re not baptizing more people into Christ. I think all of us would say we remember times when more people were obeying the gospel. There were more people responding to sermons and putting on Christ in our assemblies than is happening now. Why aren’t more people doing it? I think one of the reasons is people have lost a perception of the gravity of sin.

People fail to see how criminal it is and how undone they are before God.

You think about that. Think about your own children. Think about the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. That’s what it’s referring to. It says, He did not spare his own son. How many grievances did he have about me? And even from time to time still. He did not spare his own son, but he delivered him up for us all. Maybe we need to focus on that more. Focus on how we can be like him and serve others and help others rather than hear my grievances. You know that’s not the end of the verse. Did you know that? Are you looking at it? This is really remarkable. It struck me this week how remarkable it is. He did not spare his own son, but delivered him up for us all.

And the marvel of it is, will he not also with him, freely give us all things? You see how remarkable that is, right? He did not spare his own son, but delivered him up for us all that he might freely give us all things. I don’t deserve that. But that should motivate me to respond in a sacrificial serving, loving, obedient, merciful way. Does it motivate one in our audience tonight to say, I’m tired of grieving God?

I really appreciate what he did for me. And I want what he offers. Wow. He’s going to give me everything that matters. And that’s what all things mean. It doesn’t mean, you know, you’re going to get a million bucks. It says, He’s going to give you what matters. That’s the offer of the gospel. You’ve got to leave some things behind. You’ve got to jettison that old path that’s brought grief to God, but he’s going to give you everything that matters. And man, I don’t deserve that. And neither do you, but that’s the offer of the gospel. Won’t you put on Christ while there’s time and opportunity? Arise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling upon the name of the Lord. Can we assist you in doing that?

Let’s stand and sing together.