Forgving Those Who Hurt Me

Introduction

That you were willing to face the frigid weather, inclement weather that you’re experiencing here and come to services. I appreciate that so much. I recognize that our crowd is down, and that’s okay. I mean, it’s not great. I wouldn’t wouldn’t like that. I don’t really like that, but not for my sake, but for the Lord’s sake. And I but I’m glad that you’re here, and I’m glad that we’re able to spend some time talking about spiritual things together. the Apostle Paul, when he wrote Timothy, told him in 2 Timothy chap 1 Timothy chapter 4 and verse 13, until I come, give attention to the public reading of Scripture to exhortation and teaching. And so it is important as preachers that we give attention to the public reading of Scripture.

And if it’s all right with you, I’d like to take the time tonight to just read from Matthew the 18th chapter. And I’d like to read the entire chapter to you. And I know it’s a longer chapter, but I’d like to have this text in our mind as we enter into the discussion that we want to talk about tonight. So it would be helpful to think if we did that. Matthew 18. At that time, the disciples came to Jesus and said, Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And he called a child to himself and set him before him and said, Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in my name receives me. But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it will be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck and be thrown into the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks, for it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes. If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire.

If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell. See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of my Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man has come to save that which is lost or was lost. What do you think? If any man had a hun has a hundred sheep and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is stray? If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray.

So it is not that the so it is not the will of the Father, of your father who is in heaven, that one of these little ones perish. If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. If he listens to you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. And if he fur if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a gentile and a tax collector. Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you shall loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father who is in heaven. For there where two or three have gathered together in my name, I am there in their midst. Then Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often shall my brothers sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.

But since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment be made. So the slave fell into the ground and prostrated himself before him and saying, Have patience with me, and I will repay you everything. And the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him from the released him and forgave him the debt. But the slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, Pay back what you owe. So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will repay you.

But he was unwilling, and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved, and came and reported to their Lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his Lord said to him, You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you? And his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should replay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from the heart. The words of Jesus that I really want to focus on tonight grow out of, as you can see from the reading, they grow out of a question that is asked by the disciples concerning greatness in the kingdom.

I don’t normally like to look at all the gospels together, the synoptic to the gospels together as some sort of a harmony, because I don’t think that’s the way they were written. And they were written independent of one another. And I think if we tend when we start to study the gospels, we tend to almost the first thing we want to do is we want to, you know, instead of study one of the gospels by itself and see its message, we want to put them all together in some kind of a harmony. And if that was, I think one of the questions we ought to ask ourselves, if that was such a bright idea, why didn’t the Holy Spirit do that in the first place?

Obviously, there was an intention for there to be four independent accounts of the life of Christ. And so it’s not we need to we need to look at that and look at them in that way. But sometimes there is occasions where it is profitable to sort of look at things together and maybe get a little bit more information that’s helpful. And I think this may be one of those occasions. Because on this on this occasion, as I mentioned, the thing that Jesus is going to talk about that we’re really interested in grows out of this question about the greatness or greatness in the kingdom of God. And when you look at the other synoptic gospels, Luke and Mark, you realize that actually this happened, this actually happened because they had been arguing over that very question.

Luke 9 and verse 46, they were actually disputing with one another about who was the greatest in the kingdom of God. And they only asked this question according to Mark’s account, because Jesus actually forced their hand. He said, Hey, what have you guys been talking about on the road? What have you guys been arguing about? And so they were kind of busted, and so they asked the question about this greatness in the kingdom of God. And it’s interesting that this would turn out, even though Jesus, I think, deals with that question in a very profound and clear way on this occasion, this would turn out to be an ongoing discussion among the twelve. They would get very disturbed, for example, in Mark the 10th chapter, when the two sons of Zebedee would ask for the top spots in the kingdom, and they would get very upset with them and be indignant with them, and Jesus would talk to them about greatness in the kingdom on that occasion.

This was such a volatile discussion between them, or ongoing discussion between them, that even in spite of what Jesus taught them on these occasions already, even the last the night that Jesus was betrayed, according to Luke the 22nd chapter, this same discussion about greatness in the kingdom comes up again. And I probably spent more time on that than I should have, but I just find it very interesting that this is a this is an ongoing discussion. And Jesus’ response to this question really what sort of sets up things because it’s it leads to a series of connected teachings that grow out of each other from Matthew chapter 18, verse 2 and following. Jesus, for example, uses a child to teach on the subject of humility, the kind of humility that we must have if we’re going to hope to participate in the kingdom of heaven, in the kingdom of God.

And that is this that discussion is in verses 2 through 4. But that discussion gives way to a warning about causing other people to stumble. And Jesus’ clear teaching in verses 5 through 14 is that is something that I must at all costs avoid. I don’t want to do something that causes someone else to sin and to fall short of the glory of God. And of course, this topic leads to Jesus’ teaching on what we must do if someone sins against us in verses 15 through 20. And it’s what this last topic leads to that I really want to focus on, the need for us to be forgiving people. I want to talk a little bit with you about that subject. And I would suggest to you, based on what Jesus says, particularly in verses 11 through 14 of Matthew chapter 18, that everything that Jesus teaches here is predicated on his own character and mission.

He came to seek and save that which is lost. And so saving sinners must be our goal too. That’s what he came to do, and that must be our goal. And of course, in order for sinners to be saved, it is necessary for them to receive forgiveness from God. They have to have God’s forgiveness. And so we must decide to act in a way that gets a person, that does not get a person lost, but that causes or helps a person to ultimately be saved. And I believe that this decision, deciding to act always in a way that helps in the south to produce the salvation of someone’s soul rather than to bruise to move him in a direction that causes him to be lost, that decision is a decision that helps us greatly in the matter of forgiving one another in regard to sins that are committed against us.

So I want to focus on that topic tonight. But I want to insert something right here that I that I’ve sort of been saying all along in the things that I’ve been sharing with you yesterday and in this meeting. I really don’t want you to think, as we talk about this subject, I don’t want you to think about some circumstance that you’re aware of that affects somebody else or whatever. I don’t want you to think about someone else who needs to hear what we’re talking about. I want you to think about you.

1. My First Obligation: Go and Reprove Him in Private

And what is my attitude? What do I do? What is my action when someone has done something that has been hurtful or harmful to me? How do I react to that? What do I do about that? And how do I deal with a situation like that? So please don’t think about some situation or some other person who needs to hear this. Please focus on yourself. And what do I need to do when somebody has done something that has been hurtful to me? It is very clear from verse 15 beginning that my very first obligation when someone sins against me, my very first obligation is to go and reprove him in private. That’s what verse 15 says and teaches. And what I want you to understand that to go or to not go is really not a debatable issue.

That is not something that you need to spend much time thinking about. Because the answer is clear. You must go. You must go. I must go when someone has done something that has hurt me, somebody has done something that is a sin, I must go to him and talk to him about it in private. If I love my brother, if I believe my Lord, if Jesus really am I, if I really am acting as Jesus is my Lord, then what I’m going to do is I’m going to go to that person and I’m going to try to talk to him about that issue. And I know that’s not easy. It is never easy to go and talk to someone when there’s a problem. Most of us, if you’re anything like me, I hate confrontation.

I know that there’s some people that love a good fight and they like a good argument and they love to engage that. And I know that there are a lot of preachers who are who are oftentimes have a name for that. They really like to get in the fight and stir up, have a nice fight about something. I don’t I don’t have any joy in that at all. I know that one of the things that sometimes preachers do is they get on some of these computer lists and they get engaged in these discussions, and I, for the life of me, I don’t know how anybody has any time to do that. I maybe it’s just I’m a very slow worker, I don’t know, but I just don’t have time to be engaged with somebody across the country over what he believes about some passage of scripture, you know.

I’ve got enough to deal with just in the church that I’m working with, the people that I’m working with, the community that I’m working with, and I don’t like those kind of confrontations. I don’t like any kind of confrontation. Confrontation makes a knot occur in my stomach. I don’t like it’s uncomfortable. And I know most of us are like that. We just don’t like it’s difficult. But as much as we don’t like it, as much as we would love to be able to just ignore it and kind of avoid it, we have to go. Because our Lord said we have to go. That’s what we got to do. That when somebody, because we are on the same mission of our Lord, because we are interested in the salvation of souls, we have to go.

We have to talk to the person who has done something that is sinful against me. At times we don’t go, I’m afraid, because we’re waiting for that person to do his duty. And we are aware of passages like Matthew chapter 5, verses 23 through 26, which talks about the idea that if you’re about to make your offering at the altar and you remember there that you have something that you have done that is a you’ve hurt somebody and you’ve sinned against someone and you need to make a correction, the teaching of Jesus on that occasion is you leave your offering there and you are go first be reconciled to your brother and then come and make your offering. And so the principle of that passage is that when I when I know that I’m the one in the wrong and I’ve done something wrong, then my obligation is to go to him.

And so sometimes we don’t go when someone has sinned against us because we know he has an obligation to come to me. He sinned against me, he knows he sinned against me. He’s got to come to me. And so we don’t go because we’re waiting for him to come to us. but his duty does not relieve me of my duty. The fact that he has the duty to come to me does not relieve me of my duty. And so, ideally, what ought to happen, and I recognize you’re talking about the ideal, but ideally, what ought to happen is we ought to bump into each other on the way to one another’s house to try to resolve this issue that’s between us. That’s really what ought to happen.

And that’s not what happens often, but that’s what ought to happen. Is that the point is that we’re both are trying to get to the other one to help to try to resolve this issue that’s between us. At times we don’t go also because you know, if I go and talk to him, he might repent. And then I’d have to forgive him. And I really don’t want to do that. We kind of have a Jonah approach. You know, we Jonah’s kind of guy who didn’t want to go to Nineveh, not because he’s afraid to preach to Nineveh, but because he knew what kind of God was. He knew that God was a merciful God, and if I go preach to those folks in Nineveh, they’re allowed to repent, and I want those folks punished for what they’ve done.

You know, and that was Jonah’s approach. And sometimes that’s kind of our approach. We don’t go because we want that person to pay his pay for what he’s done. We don’t want to have to forgive and get past that which is wrong.

But again, we’ve got to recognize that our function as the followers of Jesus Christ, as disciples of Christ, is we’re interested in souls. We’re interested in people being saved. We’re interested, as we talked about yesterday morning, even our enemy, we love our enemy, and we stoop to serve our enemy, someone who is who has done us very wrong and continues to do us very wrong, just like Judas did with Jesus, and yet Jesus washed his feet. And so Jesus gives us that great example. So if my brother has truly sinned against me, and I don’t mean if he’s done something that hurt my feelings, and I really don’t like it, you know, and it’s kind of made me upset. And I think sometimes we accuse people of doing something that’s sinful when really what they’ve done is something that I didn’t like, and maybe it was a little insensitive or whatever on their part, and I and maybe I was a little too sensitive and I got my feelings hurt, and so and so we feel like he’s so we’re not talking about that.

We’re talking about when somebody has actually done something that is a violation of Scripture, he has actually sinned against me. If my brother has truly sinned against me, then I must go. No matter how hard it is for me to go, no matter how much, no matter how difficult it will be for me to do this, no matter how much out of my comfort zone I’m going to have to go to get this thing accomplished, I want to win the sinner. Just like the Lord came to seek and save that which is lost, I have the same desire that my Lord has. I want to win the sinner. And so if he’s in sin, he needs to be forgiven, and he can’t be forgiven if he doesn’t see that he’s doing wrong, or he’s not made, I don’t bring that to his nature, or help him to see that he’s doing wrong, and I want that to happen for him.

And so I must go. And I want you to notice that the text says that I must go privately. And public confrontation is not privately. Standing at the back of the building, as the as you go out the door with the preacher and confronting the preacher about what’s what’s wrong with his sermon or what this, you know, that’s not the place to do that. There may come a time in which there needs to be more of a public confrontation. There may be a situation or whatever in which that might be necessary, but that certainly is not initially the thing. We must go in private. So what am I supposed to go do when I go to talk to my brother? Am I supposed to go confront him?

Well, that depends on what you mean by the word confront. Okay. We must go, and the text teaches us that we must go and reprove him. The King James Version, the old King James Version, which you may like to use it if you do, I’m not going to throw stones at you, but you need to understand what 1611 English means, if you’re going to use that version. And so you really need to understand 1611 English, which is not the same as modern day English. But anyway, the King James Version says, go and tell him his fault. And so some of us think that means, well, that means then go tell him off. And it’s not that. It’s really much more than that. It’s really not tell him off.

It’s not really just tell him his fault. The word that is used here that says to go and reprove him, the New American Standard Version uses that expression, is a word that means to convict him of his fault. That is to show him what his fault is and why it’s a fault. Not just say, you did this wrong thing, shame on you, but it’s to help, is to go and show him what he did and why what he did was a con was contrary to the word of God and show him from the word of God that what he has done is not right. And of course, what that requires is a good knowledge of Scripture. And so you’re going to have to know your Bible.

You’re going to have to know that what has happened here is that what has happened is in fact a sin. And so you’re going to have to know what the Word of God says about that. So when you go and talk to this person, you can help him see and understand from a biblical perspective why what he’s doing is wrong or what he’s done is wrong. I don’t get to rebuke him. Well, are you thinking like Jesus when you ask that question? Yes, it does involve some rebuke. Luke’s account, Luke 17 in verse 3, talks about the fact that your brother sins against you, rebuke him. But that’s not permission to be harsh or sharp or mean or ugly. Remember what we’re trying to do here.

I want to save this guy. I want to help this fellow, this person, this person find salvation. Brother, sister, or whatever. There are times when it’s appropriate to be sharp or harsh. But sharp or harsh aren’t necessarily inherent in the idea of reproving someone or rebuking someone. And it’s never, it never means that we have the right to be mean or ugly about it. I think there is a lot of us preachers, maybe, and maybe I’m acting like I’m preaching to me and Tony, but I think some of us who preach need to remember what Paul said to Timothy in 2 Timothy chapter, what is it? 2 Timothy chapter 2 and verse, let me see where the verse 24. The Lord’s bondservant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness, correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

Again, the idea is we go and we correct them in kindness and with gentleness. What are we trying to accomplish here? We’re trying to accomplish the salvation of this person’s soul. That’s what we, that’s what we’re after here. We’re trying to help save a soul here. But some, of course, may note quickly Matthew 23. Remember how sharp Jesus was with those with those Pharisees? And yes, I understand that there were occasions, like Matthew 23, when Jesus did speak sharply to those who were consistently rebellious, like those Pharisees in Matthew 23, or to someone who was a real threat to his own spirituality. Peter, for example, he rebuked Peter quickly and sharply and said, Get behind me, Satan. You are not minding the things of God. But you’ve got to understand that in that occasion, I mean we don’t realize it, that when Peter said, No, you’ll never go to the cross.

That’ll never happen to you. That Peter did not realize how great a temptation he was placing before Jesus to get him to abort his mission. And that’s why Jesus said, get away. Don’t you realize that what you’re saying to me is a real temptation to me? I don’t want to. There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to have to experience the cross. That’s not something I’m just looking forward to. Don’t tempt me like that. And so, yes, there are occasions, sometimes in certain circumstances, when we need to speak sharply. But again, we’re not supposed to be unkind. We’re supposed to try to be as gentle as we possibly can. And I think what we need to remember is not the way Jesus dealt with certain special circumstances like those rebellious Pharisees or Peter who was placing a real temptation in front of him.

2. Peter Understood He Was Obligated to Forgive

What we need to what we need to think about is how did Jesus most often, in the most cases deal with people? Well, it was mostly patiently and kindly. And remember, the goal is not to get him told, the goal is to win him, to help save his soul. That’s what we’re trying to accomplish here. And so we need to recognize that, and yes, there are other steps that may be necessary if the person is unwilling to repent. And I don’t want to necessarily go into those kinds of things because I want to get right then to verse 21, where in this instance, Peter then asked this question. In verse 21, Peter came and said to him, you know, then, based on this, Lord, how often shall I shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?

Up to seven times. Peter understood that he was obligated to forgive. And of course, where did he learn that? Where did he learn that he was obligated to forgive? Well, he obviously learned it from Jesus. Jesus taught that if we expect to get forgiveness from God, that we must be willing to forgive those who hurt us. Even in that Sermon on the Mount in Matthew the sixth chapter, when Jesus was preaching on the Sermon on the Mount and talked a little bit about praying, he said, you know, that we’re supposed to pray and forgive us our debts. Verse 12, Matthew 6 and verse 12, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

And he goes on in verse 14 to say, For if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive you your transgressions. So they had clearly learned, Peter had clearly learned that we are obligated to forgive. He’d learned that from Jesus.

Mark 11 and verse 25. Mark 11, verse 25. Jesus says, whenever you stand praying, forgive. And if you have anything against anyone, if you have anything against anyone, so that your father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. Even maybe if the person hasn’t taught to you about their sin. The point is, you, even while you’re standing praying, maybe even praying for the guy, forgive him. Why? Because you want your father in heaven to forgive you. And so there’s a sense in which we need to be forgiving. And certainly the disciples, Peter had learned this from Jesus. And it’s not just that we’re willing to forgive, but that we actually forgive. In Luke chapter 4, 11 and verse 4, look at that text for just a moment, because I want you to notice a little bit of a conjunction that makes a connection here.

He says in verse 4, Luke 11 and verse 4, and forgive us our sins. Again, as Jesus is teaching us about praying, and forgive us of our sins, for we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And the very fact that Jesus uses the word for in this particular instance suggests then that our request for forgiveness grows out of the idea that we are already forgiving others, that we’re already involved and have been forgiving those who have sinned us against us. So the point is Peter recognizes the obligation to forgive. And we need to recognize that it is our obligation when people sin against us, it is our obligation when we talk to them about their sin to forgive them. Someone says someone one time said that John Wesley, who was the old Methodist preacher involved with the Methodist Church, he said, I’ll never forgive.

3. How Often Do I Have to Forgive?

And John Wesley is reported to have said in response to that, then I hope, sir, that you never that you never sin. And the reality is he was right about that because if you won’t ever forgive then you better hope you never do anything wrong because you’re not going to be forgiven. If we’re unwilling to forgive, then we cannot be forgiven. And so Peter obviously understood that he was obligated to forgive. Well okay but how often do I have to forgive? This was really Peter’s question not just do I have to forgive he seems to understand that he had to forgive but his question seems to be more actually how often do I have to forgive? And he even offers a suggested number he says seven times.

And of course some suggest that Peter may have thought that he was rather being rather generous in suggesting seven times. I don’t know if that was the case or not but he was surely maybe more generous than the rabbis of his day. According to the Babylonian Talmud, Rabbi Josai Joseph bin Yehuda commented this way in the Talmud about forgiveness. He said, in essence, if one commits an offense, or if one commits an offense once, forgive. Forgive him. If one commits an offense a second time, forgive him. If one commits an offense a third time, forgive him. If one commits an offense a fourth time, do not forgive him. And of course, that commentary by this rabbi in the Babylonian Talmud is actually based on the teaching in the book of Amos, where if you go back to Amos and God talks about these various nations that have done wrong and that he’s going to bring judgment upon them because of their sin.

Let me get over there in Amos just so that I can give you the words of the text.

Amos is after Joel, isn’t it? Sorry. Amos chapter 1, he says in verse 3, for three transgressions of Damascus and for four I will not revoke its punishment. He says the same thing in verse 6 for three transgressions of Gaza, and for four I will not revoke its punishment. He says the same thing in verse 11 for three transgressions of Edom and for four I will not revoke its punishment, and so on and so forth on down through there. And so the idea of the Jewish rabbis was, from God’s perspective, we forgive once, we forgive twice, we forgive three times, but not after that. Fourth time we don’t forgive. And so when Peter comes along and maybe adds one for good measure seven times, you know, and adds one for good measure, he sort of doubles really what the Jewish rabbis of his day were saying.

And so it may certainly appear that Peter is being rather gracious with this idea of forgiving seven times. But Jesus’ answer was rather startling because Jesus answers seven times. Suppose you tried 490 times, seven times seven, which was a way of saying, in that Hebrewistic kind of way, of saying, that is without limit. You forgive without limit. Peter’s suggestion proposed a limit to the number of times that we should forgive. But there was a basic error in his thinking. His thinking implies that I have the right, that I have the right to withhold forgiveness, but I do not exercise my right to withhold forgiveness. I give up my right when I forgive. But Jesus basically says there is no limit on how many times I forgive.

The point is that I have no right to withhold forgiveness. That’s simply not something we have the right, the power or the authority to do. And the parable that Jesus follows that with, which is this parable of the in Matthew chapter 18, which is the parable of this unforgiving steward or servant, who is, and I don’t know if we fully grasp the numbers in this parable, but the debt that this man owed was a his master, this slave that he, the debt that he owed, was a debt that just about was impossible to repay. In several lifetimes of working, he would have not been able to repay the debt. It was just an unmost an unpayable debt, really, is what it is what it’s supposed to represent.

And yet the master who, when he begged for patience and mercy, the master granted that, compassionately granted that mercy and gave him that mercy and forgiveness. And then he goes out and grabs a hold of someone who owed him clearly an amount that was difficult, but certainly an amount that was reasonable to pay back. He could have ultimately paid it back. So it was a far greater less sum.

It’s almost like owing nothing. And he was unwilling to be patient with this person. And so when the master, the Lord found out about that, he was very disturbed and delivered the person over to be forgiven or to be tortured and not be released until he had paid the entire debt, which he would never have been able to pay, especially if he was in prison, he would never have been able to repay that debt. And so the parable itself really is a further answer to Peter’s question. And I know that because after Jesus says, you know, try seven times seventy. In other words, try, not just seven times. How about just not known limit to that? After Jesus says that, he follows it with the words, for this reason, and he goes into the parable.

And so the very fact that he uses this expression for this reason says that this parable is somehow also connected, a part of helping us understand how forgiving we need to be.

Because every sin I commit is ultimately against God, too. And there is no way that I can ever repay the debt that I owe God, that he has forgiven me. And so I must be willing to forgive without limit. So we must forgive. How often? Always. Any refusal to forgive makes it impossible for God to forgive us. Well, what if he doesn’t truly repent? Luke 17 and verse 4, go with me to that passage for just a moment, Luke 17 and verse 4. What if he doesn’t really repent? He says, and if your brother repents, if your brother sins, rebuke him, if he repents, forgive him. And if he says, if he sins against you seven times a day and returns and returns to you seven times saying, I repent.

Forgive him. Jesus says, if he comes back saying, I repent. You’re forgiven. What Jesus is teaching us is that we don’t have a right to not forgive. What if he didn’t really repent? Well, it’s really not my job to judge the sincerity of what he does at this moment. The question is, what must I do? My obligation is that I need to forgive him. And I think when we think about our own circumstance, have you not repeatedly sinned against God? Done the same thing against him over and over again. I wish I could tell you that wasn’t true about me, but it isn’t. There have been times that I’ve done the same thing, and I sometimes still struggle with things. In the morning I did it, in the evening I did it.

I must come to him again and again and ask him for forgiveness. And so the point is that when what Jesus is teaching is that when our brother sins against us and we come to him, we rebuke him, and he comes and he says, I repent, then our obligation is to forgive him. Now I think we have to be careful not to be gullible and let the fraudulent take advantage of us. There is this passage in Jude verse 22 and 23 that I keep that keeps me thinking and remembering that I have to be careful because I am interested in the salvation of this person’s soul. Because I really do want his salvation. I don’t just want some sort of band-aid to be put on the thing and the person not really change.

So I have a passage like Jude in verses 22 and 23, and have mercy on some who are doubting, save others, snatching them out of the fire, and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh. There’s some times that we have to have mercy, and we have to forgive, but we have to recognize that we’re concerned about this person’s sin and whether or not it can have an effect on us or on others. And so we have to, we have to be careful. And so we may extend mercy and forgive, but we’re going to have to sit down with that fella and say, listen, this has happened over and over and over again. Because I love you and because I really want the salvation of your soul, I must sit down with you and say, listen, I’ve got to talk to you about repentance.

I’ve got to talk to you about what you need. You need to understand about what repentance is all about. And I need to help him and even hold him, help hold him accountable so that he does make the change that he says he wants to make.

I’ll be generous and merciful. And but I’m not going to be foolish about this and just act like, you know, especially since this has been happening over and over again, we’ve got to sit down and try to help you understand that you’ve got to really repent and really go. But again, I still extend mercy.

4. It's Got to Be From the Heart

And this parable I suggest you teaches us yet another aspect of forgiveness, and that is the degree to which we must forgive. And it’s got to be from the heart. It’s got to be something that’s genuine. It can’t just be a verbalization, okay, I forgive you. We’ve got to mean it. And again, let’s remember what it is we’re trying to accomplish is the salvation of this person’s soul. And we want to do something, we don’t want to do something that affects our ability to be forgiven. And so there has to be this genuineness with regard to the forgiveness. It has to come, verse 35, from the heart. Jesus says there in Matthew the 18th chapter, going back to that text, he talks about the fact that my heavenly Father will also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.

And so he appeals to them to do that from the heart. And that means we do it sincerely, like God does. Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 32, our forgiveness of a brother is to be comparable to the forgiveness that we extend, that we have been extended from God. Ephesians 4 and verse 32, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven him. The same way God has forgiven us, we need to try to forgive that person. And that involves doing the best we can to remove the guilt. Of course, the reality is, guys, I think we have to recognize that when it ultimately comes to removal of guilt, that’s not something we do. That’s only something God can do.

And God is the only one who can actually remove the guilt. We can say we’re not going to hold it against the person. We’re not going to, we’re not going to hold a grudge about this matter. We’re going to forgive as far as we’re concerned, it’s over with, it’s taken care of. But ultimately, the removal of the guilt is something that God does because God does see the heart, and God does know the sincerity and the genuineness of what a person is doing. And so God is the one who ultimately removes the removes the guilt. But the point is that we do what we can to let that sin go.

5. Lord, Increase Our Faith

Someone says, okay, Rick, I know it’s my duty to forgive. I know I’m obligated to forgive. I know I’m obligated to forgive even without limits. But how do I do that? That’s hard to do. When someone has hurt me and maybe hurt me repeatedly, it’s hard to let that go. It’s hard to say, okay, I forgive you. In a similar text, look at what happens when Jesus taught about this thing. And I’ve alluded to it already, Luke the 17th chapter. Look at what happens when Jesus teaches the same principle in Luke 17. He says in verse 4, if he sins, verse 3, if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, I repent, forgive him.

And I want you to notice the question the apostles, or the point the apostles make in verse 5. The apostles said to the Lord, Increase our faith.

Now, I would suggest to you that if Peter had said this, I might not be so surprised. But this is a unanimous request. All of the disciples on this occasion say, Lord, increase our faith.

And I want to suggest to you that was a very insightful request. They were asking the right thing. Faith is what is needed.

And the faith that is needed is a quality of faith. It takes real faith to forgive as Jesus teaches us to forgive. It takes real trust that he’s right when he says it’s best for you to forgive. It’s not in your best interest to hold a grudge and to allow yourself to become embittered by this terrible thing that you’re holding against the person. It’s in your best interest to forgive, because if you don’t, that bitterness will turn to hatred. So please forgive. And so Jesus, we’ve got to trust him that he knows what he’s talking about when he says that we need to forgive. It takes real faith in the Lord that he will take care of the individual who takes advantage of us for our forgiving spirit.

Because mark it down, there will be people who will try. And who may actually even be successful at taking advantage of our forgiving spirit. And it takes real faith in God that he means it when he says that an unforgiving spirit is simply unforgivable. Because I’m not sure that all of us really understand it. It’s or really believe that. It’s not that God can’t forgive an unforgiving spirit. It’s possible to do it. That’s like that passage that’s sometimes talking about it’s impossible for God to lie. Let me tell you something. If God wants to, he can tell the biggest swap there is. If he wanted to, it’s not that it’s physically impossible for him to do it, but it’s morally impossible for him to do it.

He has sworn to him about himself that he will not do that. He will not lie. And so it is, it may be possible for him to forgive someone who will not forgive others. But God has said, I morally won’t do that. I may not do that. Because when God does that, he himself becomes unjust and unfair and not right. And so we have to believe him when he says that the unforgiving spirit is unforgivable. But as Jesus notes in verse 6 of Luke 17, it’s not bulk of faith that is necessary. Look at what Jesus says when they respond and they say, Lord, increase our faith. Jesus goes on in that text to say to them, and the Lord said, if you had faith like a mustard seed, you would say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and be planted in the sea, and it would obey you.

Jesus is saying by that little illustration that it’s not bulk of faith that is necessary, it’s quality of faith that is necessary. The kind of faith that is required to offer this kind of forgiveness to be able to forgive in this limitless way.

That kind of faith is got to be quality faith. It’s got to be faith that has a great quality to it. That will enable me to do the near impossible. Or what will seem to be the near impossible because this person has hurt me so badly.

How can I possibly keeps on doing it, kept on doing it. And now they’re coming again and they want to be forgiven.

How do we do that? Well, we do that by increasing our faith. Trusting God more.

When he says things.

To move them to be lost, but in such a way as to help them find forgiveness. My forgiveness. And the forgiveness of God. And that’s hard to do. But remembering how great a debt he has forgiven me. I have to keep remembering that no one has hurt me as bad as I’m hurting God. And I have hurt him. And I’ve hurt him over and over again. I’ve needed his mercy and forgiveness over and over again. And if I need his mercy and forgiveness over and over again, then I need to be willing to extend mercy. Yes, I need to help the person truly repent. Yes, I really need to help them straighten out their way. I’ve got to do that. I’ve got to help the person.

Because I’m not interested in just I’m interested in the salvation of that person’s soul. So I’ve got to try to do that. We’ve got to be a merciful person.

Conclusion

Maybe there’s somebody you need to go sit down and talk with. I don’t know. Maybe there’s somebody in your family, somebody in your one of your friends. Maybe an associate at work, I don’t know. Somebody that you need, sit down and talk with about something that they’re doing, some brother in Christ. That they’ve done some things that are wrong, that are sinful, that need to be corrected. Go have that conversation with them. I know it won’t be fine. Get your Bible, arm yourself with the word of God, with the right spirit and the right attitude. Go sit down with that person and talk to them about his sin. With any good fortune, he’ll he’ll he’ll beg forgiveness, or she’ll beg forgiveness, and you can be reconciled with the person.

But go armed with the attitude and the spirit that says, I want to find a way for this person’s soul to be saved. And understand that holding a grudge, and that refusing to forgive, and refusing to look for a way to get this problem resolved. And to do everything within my power to help this problem be resolved. Refusing to do that is just going to create a great problem.

So I appeal to us all to learn to adopt this forgiving spirit. And just remember that we want to be forgiven, so we must forgive.

But that needs to be the spirit with which we approach things. And I encourage you to think about that. But if there’s some way that we can help you to right a wrong in your life, maybe you’re someone who needs to put your altar down or your gift down at the altar and you need to go and be reconciled. Do that if you need to. But the point is, let’s let’s get these things repaired and forgiven. And taken care of, changed. Let’s and let’s move to do the right things. So that we can be the kind of people that God will be pleased with. We can help you in some way. Please let us feel what we’re standing soon.