Encouraging Godliness In Our Children

Introduction

Well, good evening. Thank you all for being out back again this evening, and we have another great crowd. And invite you to turn along with me in Ephesians chapter 6. We’ll begin there this evening.

After Tony’s lesson this morning, I was like, man, how do I follow that up? It’s just not fair. But we can all tell that he put everything into that lesson this morning and got a well-deserved evening off tonight.

In John 3.16, I’m going to read that God gave us his only son, that whoever believes in him might not perish, but have everlasting life. And I am thankful that he did not ask me to do the same thing with my child. He did not ask us to sacrifice our children on a cross in order to have eternal life. But he did ask us to do something, and that is to raise them to know and to love him. And to make our lives a sacrifice in the pursuit of that. As we talked about previously in this series of lessons on the home, it is our job, our responsibility to raise our children to know the Lord. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

We’ve been given that responsibility. And as much as we as parents would love it if this were the case, our children cannot get into heaven on our merits. They’re not going to be judged based on our deeds and the way we live our life. I’m sure we would all hope and we all wish it were that way if obviously we are living as we ought to and are confident in our salvation as we should be. Because there’s no one in this world that we love more than our spouse and our children. We want what’s best, but then we want them to make it to heaven with us. But they cannot get into heaven on our merits. In Ezekiel chapter 18 and verse 20. It is stated that sons would not inherit the iniquity of the fathers, nor would the father inherit the iniquity of the son.

In other words, what that’s telling us is that we are going to be judged for what we do. I cannot get in on the coattails of someone else.

I cannot make my daughter righteous because I am righteous.

And so we must set an example for them.

We read of stories like of Eli and Samuel, David and Solomon, of Saul and Hezekiah. Those men, although great men in many respects, had ungodly children. Were they made righteous because of those children? No. Were their sons made righteous because of them? No. But what went wrong? Why is it that so often righteous, godly parents who are doing their best to serve God? Why is it that sometimes the children go astray? Part of it is obviously the fact that God has given us each free will. And our children are going to make their own decisions once they get out on their own, regardless sometimes of what we have tried to impart to them. But the second factor I think is somewhat up to us, and it’s the example that we set, the amount that we adhere to the instruction of Ephesians 6 and verse 4 to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

And I look at these men who are kings and prophets, and I think, well, what was it that went wrong? And I’m led to believe maybe it was because they were often distracted by the things of life, the cares, to put it in adequate time, to train their children in righteousness, to teach them the law, and to stress a relationship with the Lord. Ephesians 6 and verse 4, fathers are told two things to discipline and to instruct. Two things we should be very concerned about. So what can I do to raise godly children? How can I ensure that they are faithful to the Lord when they grow up? Because we can’t make them. But we can teach love, encourage, and point them in the right direction.

So I want to suggest a few things this evening as we take just a few minutes that we can do. Some of these things, you’re probably thinking, well, you’ve been a parent for 300 and what’s 60 one day. Quick math in my head. What do you know? Well, not a lot. I’ll grant you that. More than I did 361 days ago. A whole lot more. But at the same time, I’ve been blessed to have been brought up in a Christian home with Christian parents. I’ve learned from that example. There are many things that come clearly from the Bible. Some things of experience growing up in that Christian home and things that my parents did that impressed godliness upon me. As well as lessons that I’ve heard from other godly men in this same position as I am in tonight.

1. Let Them See Our Faith

I will be going through these rather quickly because I do have seven points. My lesson probably will not be as short as Tony’s was this morning. But get through them. The first thing I want us to notice this evening is that if we want to raise and encourage godliness in our children, we need to let them see our faith. What do my children see in me? Is a question that I should be asking myself. In Matthew 16 and verse 24, we’re told that we ought to be taking up our crosses daily or to deny ourselves and follow him. What does that mean? If I’m taking up my cross, it means that every day that I live, every day that I wake up, I am devoting everything that I do, every decision that I make to following Him, to bearing the image of Christ, to bearing the sacrifice that he made for me.

We are trying to be like Him. And that admittedly is a burden. It is not easy. He never said it would be. But if we are taking up that cross and following Him daily, our children will see that. Is our life a life that is sacrificed to God very much going? Well, Paul takes very much, I think, from Jesus in Matthew 16, when he writes in Romans 12 and verse 1 and 2, that we are to make our lives a living sacrifice. Do our children see that? Because if they don’t, they will not see the importance of being a Christian. Is my life a sacrifice to God? Do they see complete trust in him? To what extent does my faith impact my life? Does it holy and renew and change me?

Again, Romans chapter 12 and verse 2. Does it affect my every decision? Does it affect my daily habits? The very things that I talk about, that I wear, that I go. To what extent does it impact my life? Is my life different because I’m a Christian? Is my life different than do my children see that their life and our lives as parents are different from their peers? If our faith isn’t impacting our life in that way, they will not see a difference. Or is our faith just an afterthought, an anoint? Is it something that we live Monday through Saturday? Is it something that we do just on Sunday? And is that life of faith attractive? Is it something that I add that adds to our quality of life?

Is it something that we portray to our children as something that is glorious, that is not just a burden, but a blessing. Do we show them that the way we live is better than the way that the world lives? Do we make it something that they want to make their own? Because ultimately, they will have to make that choice. Every child has to make that choice at some point that this faith that my parents are trying to press on me. I’m going to make it my own. I’m not going to do it just because they’re doing it. When they get out on their own, guess what? They can all of a sudden do whatever they want. What’s going to make them make that choice? They see that this life of faith is attractive.

It’s clear that we’d rather be worshiping and following God, taking up our cross daily than enjoying the passing pleasures of sin.

And I look at the life of Abraham as the Hebrew writer writes about him in the hall of faith in Hebrews chapter 11, verse 8 and 9, and we read that he took up his sin and went out not knowing where he was going. And he lived daily this life of faith. To follow, to do what God had told him to do. He was completely devoted to God, and Isaac, I think, saw that in him. Isaac saw clearly the sacrifices his father had made for the Lord. And it’s clear Abraham taught his son about God. And I want to make this one point also very clear that children are not fooled by hypocrisy. We have to show them that our faith is sincere. They see everything we do.

And there’s no more evidence than in an infant. They watch you, they do everything you do. We have to show them that it’s real, that it is beneficial.

I want to read Psalm 78, verse 1 through 8, if you would. Turn with me there. Psalm 78. I won’t be reading most of the passages this evening, but I encourage you to write them down. That’s why I really did make sure that I actually got the PowerPoint to someone’s work tonight. I wanted us to be able to write all these things down as we’re going through them quickly. But Psalm 78, I think is very important. Verse 1 give ear, O my people to my teaching. Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable, I will utter dark sayings from of old. Things that we have heard and known that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from our children.

But tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done. He has established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments, and that they should not be like their fathers. A stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. If our faith is full of hypocrisy, is full of insincerity, what are they going to see? They are not going to be told of the glorious deeds of the Lord in his might.

They’re going to be like the previous generation the psalmist writes about that was rebellious and stubborn and not steadfast. They were not faithful to God. But we need to teach them to our children so that they might teach them to their children. So that they might, especially note this in verse 7, so they should set their hope in God. If I want my children to set their hope in God, they have to see my faith. True faith is obvious just as hypocritical faith is obvious.

And we need to be honest with ourselves and honest with our children. Sometimes we mess up. And as our previous point goes, they see it. They see everything. And they’re going to see what we mess up to. We need to be honest with them about that. The life of a Christian is not one of perfection, but one of striving for perfection. And sometimes we’re even going to mess up in our attitudes and actions towards them. But they need to understand and see our repentance, our sorrow.

And we need to make sure that we don’t expect others to educate them. We don’t, we cannot afford to pass this responsibility off on anyone else, namely the church. It’s not the church’s job to do this. It’s my job. Deuteronomy chapter 4 and verse 9. Turn over with me over there as well, Deuteronomy chapter 4 and verse 9.

2. Make Spiritual Matters a Priority

Only take care and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, unless they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children. They have a responsibility to teach the things that God had done, not only to their children, but to their grandchildren as well. Grandparents here, I know there are a lot of you as well. Your role is still important. We have a responsibility to make the things of God known to our children and our grandchildren. Secondly, this evening, we need to make spiritual matters a priority because God demands the preeminence in our lives. Matthew chapter 6 and verse 33 states that we need to seek first the kingdom of God.

These passages, multitude of passages, make it clear that spiritual matters are to come first in the life of the Christian. This one thing must be clear to our family that God demands and gets the preeminence in all that we do. Yes, even over our children. You’re like, what? Something comes before my child. God dies.

What message are we sending our children if they come first all the time? If they’re ball games and they’re extracurricular activities and they’re this and they’re that and the other.

And the devotion we give to Him. God demands the preeminence.

We have to teach them that neither they nor their interests or hobbies are more important than him. And if we do that, God offers us a reward. And that offer is worthwhile. He says in Matthew 6 and verse 33, again, if we seek first his kingdom, what? We will be blessed in this life and in the next. All these things that will be added to us if we lay up treasures in heaven, we will reap the reward.

When you want something that bad, you make it a priority. If you really want to go to heaven, if you really want your children and your grandchildren to go to heaven, you’re going to make it a priority.

We see that in all the rest of our lives. Somebody really wants to climb up the corporate ladder. What do they do? They make a priority. They work and they work and they work and they work and they study and they study and they work and they work.

3. Show and Demand Respect for God's Word

When somebody wants something, they work towards it. Do we have that kind of desire in our lives to go to heaven? That we work and we work and work and we work at. Spiritual matters must be a priority. Thirdly, this evening, we need to show and demand respect for God’s word. Cannot teach godliness while neglecting God’s word. In Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4, Deuteronomy 6 and verse 4, I think that’s kind of interesting there that those are the same. Of course, they’re obviously man-made delineations, but those things go very much hand in hand. In Deuteronomy 6 and verse 4, we’re told to always have the things of God before us as front looks between our eyes, and we talk about them when we rise up and when we lie down and we walk by the way.

We have to show and demand respect for God’s word. And here it in these commands of Ephesians 6 4 and Deuteronomy 6 4 is the fact that we must use God’s word to teach. And there is power in that word. Romans chapter 1 and verse 16. There’s power into salvation. Romans 10 and verse 17. Faith comes by hearing that word. John 6, 63, eternal life comes through the word. 1 Corinthians 2 and verse 7 that tells us, Paul tells us that the word is the very mind of God. It is supreme wisdom. It is that which we must impart.

God’s word is a measure of discipleship. John 8 31. If we abide in and live by the word, it shows us to be true disciples. Matthew 7, 21 and following. If we are found in his word, that shows us to be true. And there’s distinction in the word. John 17, 14 through 17. John Jesus says that his word, God’s word is truth. And in it is found in all truth. That makes it very distinct from all the rest of the literature in the world that we can choose from to have our children learn from. You know, one of the nice things, I mean, we plan on homeschooling Abigail and whatever other children we may have. Because the foundation of their education in our home will be from God’s word.

It’s not that other literature is not important and helpful, but that foundation will be from God’s word. It is the most important book that we will ever read. Faith comes by hearing. Because hearing teaches us the truth about who God is and who he wants us to be. So, how do we in turn teach and show and demand this from our children? We need to be reverent toward it. And do they see that reverence in me? Do I have a love for God’s law as a psalmist calls us to have in Psalm 119? What attitudes of the word, the word do they see in me? Do they see me studying it? Meditating on it. Do they see my love for it? Do I use it in everyday life?

Am I talking about it? Do I revere it? I mean, something as simple as taking care. How many of you have a Bible that you’ve used for like over 15 years or 10 years? I mean, a lot of us. Just taking care of your own physical copy of God’s word shows them how important it is to you. I mean, just little things like that. Writing that, using it as your guide. Do I demand that God’s word be a priority? Do I make my children read their Bibles? Do I make them go and prepare to go to Bible class with their lessons done and ready? And do I talk about that with them? Is it clear that it’s the most important book they will ever read?

And right along with that, talking about it with our children about their Bible classes. Do I talk with them about spiritual things? What do we talk about at home? Are we talking about God? Are we talking about his will, his work, his nature? Psalm 145, 1 through 7. Telling about God’s greatness. Many verses of Psalm 119 again, meditating on, speaking about and praising God’s precepts. Good and referencing Deuteronomy chapter 6, talking about God’s word. Every opportunity that we get wherever we are. Again, it goes back to God’s word being a priority. It’s something we talk about at the gender table on the way home from church before we go to bed.

You know, what one of the things that I appreciate about when we when we were in Germany, we had some friends, and we just went and saw them in Florida a couple weeks ago, and man, we missed them. Because inevitably, our conversations would always be about something spiritual in nature. And we I mean we would just sit around in each other’s houses all the time and talk about spiritual things. What did you think about that? Oh, you preached on this the other day. What, you know? Always. That’s what we talk about. And we hadn’t seen them in two years, and we go to their house, and it’s the very same thing. Nothing changed. And I appreciate that about Dean and Desi as well.

4. Providing a Focus on Heaven

We have them over quite a bit, and inevitably that’s where the conversation goes. Is that what we talk about in our homes? Because what is in my heart will be in my words. Luke chapter 6 and verse 45. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Romans chapter 8 and verse 5. Am I basing my life on the flesh or on the spirit? What is my mind set upon? What we’re talking about is what we’re thinking about. There must be an intentional focus in our homes on spiritual matters, on church, on discipleship, heaven, character, morality, or influence. And on and on the list could go. Fifthly, this evening, are we providing a focus on heaven? We must see ourselves, brethren, as belonging elsewhere. We are citizens of the kingdom of heaven, Philippians chapter 3 and verse 20.

We don’t belong here. We must have an other world mentality. That this world is not my home, that I’m just a passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.

Again, referencing in Hebrews chapter 11, all those people who died in the faith, looking to the promise. They understood that this world was not their home. They were looking for something greater, a better home. They were strangers and exiles in this land.

Being from Texas, that’s such an easy analogy to make. We in Texas love the fact that we’re from Texas. Even people that weren’t from Texas, they moved to Texas. They put bumper stickers on the card that says, I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as quick as I could. And amen to that. I was born here, so I’m natural born citizen. And I left and I got back as quick as I could. But we love being from Texas. We’re proud of that. We talk about that. We feel strong about it. We feel that it should be its own country. And other people feel strongly about where they’re from as well. It’s not just us. Although we’re the most right about it. And we and we need to feel strong about where we’re from.

But as Christians, we need to have the perspective that I’m a creature of God. He made me. I came from him. And I’m going back to him. I don’t belong here. I am a citizen first and foremost of the kingdom of God. Of heaven. And this world is not my home. Heaven is where we’re from, and it’s where we’re going back to. We need to have an under the sun perspective, so to speak, in Ecclesiastes 1 and verse 14. We’re told that everything here, it’s all vanity. It’s striving after wind. It will not last. It’s all going to be gone in an instant. And so we better not place our treasures here. That mentality must be instilled in our children. Our cultural heritage is not as important as the heritage that we have in heaven.

Not our country, not our ethnicity, not our people, not even Texas. We are a godly people with a godly origin and a godly destiny. Genesis 1, verse 26, God said, Let us make man in our image. That is our origin. And our destiny is this, John 14. In my father’s house, there are many rooms. If it were not so, I would have told you. This is who we are. We are strangers and pilgrims, exiles in this land. We need to have a focus, provide a focus to our children. That is where we are striving to get.

5. We Need to Maintain That Sin Is Terrible

Sin will stand in the way of them and God. It will stand in the way of them and an eternal home in heaven. Sin is the worst thing that they can involve themselves or immerse themselves in. And Satan is going to do everything he can to tell them otherwise, to deceive them, as we’ve been talking about in our Sunday morning Bible class. There’s so much deceit out there, even, be it religious deceit or worldly deceit. Satan is accomplished at it. Genesis 3 and verse 1 says that he is very crafty. In 2 Corinthians 11, he puts on many disguises. And in Matthew 4 and verse 1, he even went after Jesus. And what does he do? He tries to focus our attention on things that distract us.

He focuses on our desires. Our lusts.

And good things look bad. He confuses us. You know, we went to Good Sins today for lunch. And last week, too. It’s probably not a good thing. Chicken fried steak. That chicken fried steak, it looked good. It smelled good. It tasted good.

But when I got home, I just wanted to go to sleep. And I had to prepare for this lesson. And it’s probably not good for my insides or for my waistline. It looked good. But in the end, probably not the best decision. But that’s what Satan does with sin. He takes bad things and makes them look good. And we as adults, we understand that, but our children, they don’t. They’re naive. They’re just barely learning about life, and we need to teach them that this is the truth. That sin, although it is made out to seem innocent and unharmful. That it is not unharmful. It is not innocent.

God defines what sin is, not us. And that’s the problem with the world today. They’re trying to define what sin is. And we’re basically saying there is no such thing. Whatever you want to do. Whatever’s best for you go right ahead. God defines sin, not society, not ourselves, not our peers, not the media. And so we are given a caution regarding our influences. And Isaiah chapter 5, verses 20 through 23, woe to those who call evil good and good evil. Woe to us if we let our peers decide what is right and what is wrong. We need to maintain an intolerance for sin. You know.

Easy on your kids, I guess. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt. You want to give them a little bit of room. But at the same time, you know, they see it in us. Well, why can’t I do that? Because I said so. Maybe that’s not the best answer. Maybe it’s not because I said so. Maybe it’s not because, oh, my grandparents said so, or the government or whoever. Maybe it’s because God said so. That’s why. Because God says it’s wrong. And I can’t allow myself to ease off of my rules.

I need to stick to God’s rules. Isaiah chapter 1. God condemns Israel not because they were irreligious, but because they accepted sin into their midst. We say it over and over again. We need to not. We need to hate the sin and love the sinner. But we cannot allow sin into our midst. It has to be terrible. I want to read Jeremiah chapter 6, if you would. Jeremiah chapter 6, verses 13 through 15. For from the least to the greatest of them, everyone is greedy for unjust gain, and from prophets and priests, everyone deals falsely. They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, peace. When there is no peace. Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? No, they were not at all ashamed.

For they did not know how to blush. Therefore, they shall fall among those who fall. At the time that I punish them, they shall be overthrown, says the Lord. They were not at all ashamed. They didn’t even know how to blush. People were saying all kinds of things about what they could do and what was okay. And they committed abominations and acted as if everything was alright. And they were so callous to that sin, they didn’t even blush. That’s where we are today.

Are we going to allowed our children to be caught up in that same kind of misdirection that Satan is putting this strong delusion on them?

We need to maintain that sin is terrible. And if we can do these three things, I think that we can help our children in that. We need to help them grow the respect for God. Both of his righteousness and of his mercy. His judgment. Romans 11 22 says to note the kindness and the severity of God. We cannot look at one aspect of his character and ignore the other.

But his severity is great as well. We need to note what he does for sinners and for the righteous. It doesn’t mean don’t help sinners, but don’t accept the sin. We need to teach our children this by telling them the truth, telling them that sins are real, that they’re out there, that they are susceptible to them, and that sins are indeed sins. There is such a thing as sin in the eyes of God. Even though the devil tells them that they aren’t sin. That’s what he does. I mean, you look at Adam and Eve in the very first sin, he just made something that’s, oh, it’s okay. It seems wrong, but that’s not really what God meant. We have to teach them about sin. Or they will never respect the holiness of God.

And they will never respect the possibility of his judgment.

And it also grows out of a gravity of that judgment. Galatians 6 7, whatever one sows, that will he also reap. Our children are not exceptions to this. And it grows out of instruction that we also be giving to them again, Ephesians 6 and verse 4. Discipline now teaches about discipline later. We don’t discipline our children. We don’t love them. Period. And that is an idea that the world doesn’t like. Oh, we’ve got to be nice to our kids. You just give them all the love in the world, and that’ll make them appreciate you.

No, I am who I am because my parents didn’t let me do whatever I wanted to do. Because I understood the concept of consequences.

There’s things that happen when we do wrong things.

6. Surround Them With Godly People

Finally, this evening, we need to surround them with godly people. We need to remember the power of influence.

Deuteronomy 7 and verse 1. Before the people went in to take the land, they were told that they were to destroy utterly all the people that dwelt in there. And did they fail to do that? Yes, they failed. And what happened? Exactly what God said would happen. They would be influenced by those people. And all too often we make the mistake of thinking that we as Christians are going to be the one to influence for good those around us. And again, don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. But it’s a lot easier for an immature child to be influenced badly by bad peers than it is for them to be a good influence on them. A lot easier.

1 Corinthians 15, verse 33. Bad companions corrupt good morals. We cannot expect godly influence from ungodly people. It just doesn’t work that way. And we can’t even assume that just because this person is in our family, or just because they’re in a position of power, or just because they have generally good morals, it does not equal godliness. Who is teaching my children? Who have I chosen to influence them? 2 Corinthians chapter 6, 14 and 15 tells us that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. We cannot let our children be in control of everything they do, of every aspect of their lives. They are our children because we are the ones in control. All too often people want to be their children’s friend and not their parent.

One of the things, I mean, my parents were awesome. They gave me a lot of latitude, and for whatever I guess I, for all these reasons, I guess, I didn’t make bad choices for the most part. It was strange, I guess I’m an anomaly. But they gave a lot of latitude. They basically trusted me until I gave them a reason not to. I think it’s pretty good policy. But one of the weird things, that my mom always, she always, like, I guess, thought that I didn’t have friends because I never hung out with people from school. But I think what she didn’t understand, and she always was like, why don’t you have some friends over? Blah. Well, I don’t want to because they’re bad.

You know, and I guess you thought I just didn’t have any friends, but that wasn’t the case. I just didn’t want to be around those people. I’m like, why do you want me to do that? But my friends were always, once we had more kids my age at church, I hung out with Brad and Blake and Kyle. And that’s just, and then kids from camp as I got older. That’s who I did things with. Because that’s I wanted to have godly influence around me. We need to insist on those same godly influences. We need to make God’s people our people. We need to stress the importance of a local church. We need to be sure that our children are understanding that God’s family is the most important family that they have.

I can honestly say that I am who I am today because of the people that I spent time with. And the opportunities that were afforded to me to be around godly people. Not just in my church, but in churches in the area. We need to provide and use opportunities, classes, devotions, whatever it might be. I mean, tonight there’s there’s a teen get together. Are you taking your kid to that? Or you just know I don’t want to go pick you up at 9 o’clock. Too late. I gotta go to work in the morning. What’s more important? Sleep? Or your child’s eternal destiny?

And I don’t know what kind of excuses people might make for that kind of thing, but we have to make sacrifices for our children. To surround them with godly people. Because the home is the primary source of education and influence. They are my kids. It is my job. And we need to encourage godliness in them. Proverbs 22 and verse 6. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. Words of wisdom.

Conclusion

And unfortunately, as with all Proverbs, that is a general statement. It is not going to work that way 100% of the time. Sometimes we can do everything in the world exactly right. And people are going to make their own choices. We can’t make them do right. But we should be doing everything we can do to help them get started on the right path. We need to remember that God sacrificed his son in order to save us. Are we sacrificing our lives? As an example to our families in an effort to bring them to heaven with us. Let’s not be like the failed fathers of the Old Testament who seemingly didn’t take time for their families. But make talking about spiritual things and leading our families priority.

There is no greater responsibility that we have been given than to lead our children, to lead our families, especially fathers, to a home in heaven. If there’s anyone here that needs prayers of conduct to help you in doing that. We can encourage you tonight. It’s not easy. And we all mess up.

But it will be worth it in the end. Or if you need the waters of baptism to save you from your sins, if you’ve never put on Christ, we can do that for you tonight. What’s your response to the invitation while we stand in the sun?