“Does My Perspective Bring People Together?”

Introduction

Sarah was an experienced executive of a small business. She was always getting into other people’s departments. And some of the other executives, the COO and some of the others were getting frustrated because they were trying to hit some performance goals because they needed some more funding. And they decided they would do an off-location team building event to try to help morale. And I think maybe this would be a good occasion to see that she didn’t quite fit in with the corporate culture. Time to maybe off her from the company because she was getting in the way. And during the event, they were asked to share their most life-shaping events. Many of you who’ve been involved in these types of things know how this works. You know, it’s meant to bring people together and kind of have this deeper relationship.

And so they’re sharing the things in their lives that have shaped them. And she goes last.

And then just three years later, her mother died of cancer.

She continued on seven years after that. Her brother died of cancer, and then finally she talked about her own battle with cancer. And that it had returned.

With a sense of urgency to make a difference. I don’t always have the time through all the corporate channels, and it’s not personal, but when I see that something’s not right, I point it out. And the CEO jumped up, ran over to her, and gave her a big hug and told everybody how much he respected this other executive for her battle and what she was going through. And the company went on to crush their expectations, not in 12 months, but in six.

It wasn’t just everyone else, although they were the ones mostly transformed in this process. It was the female executive as well. She wasn’t telling people the things that she was going through. And so they were operating from a sense of bias, judging and assuming some things about her actions. She also was operating from a little bit of bias, given her own situation. And she made that clear in her statement. But once they all were on the same page and understood why, it made all the difference and how they operated together. And so my thought this morning is just on this idea if we knew the whole story, if we really sought to understand from other people’s perspectives, would that change the way that we view things?

Philippians chapter 2 is a text that Tony and I really looked at not that long ago. A few weeks back, we discussed it together. I think it was in a Zoom discussion, and hopefully you had a chance to watch that. But I just think it’s such a critical text in circumstances like we’re in right now with this pandemic and all the ideas and the emotions, which is what a lot of this is, and the feelings that people have and are sharing about what’s happening in their lives, that we think about a text like Philippians 2, or texts like Romans 15 and some of the information that we find there, to guide us into how we think, but also how we treat one another. Paul says this in Philippians chapter 2.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. And then there is this great about having the mind of Christ and the sacrificial nature of what Christ did for us. As a man named Michael Gorman, who wrote a book called Cruciformity. And the whole concept of that book is that everything that we should that we do in life should be filtered through the idea of the cross.

Every action, every thought, the idea of cruciformity is I’m thinking about that through the context of the reality that Christ was crucified for me. And he died.

He actually gave up quite a bit to make that happen. He did not equal equate qua equality with God, something to be grasped. He could have remained there. He could have held on to this deity in pure form, not coming in the form of a servant. Could have done that. But instead, he looked out for me and acted for me. Which is essentially what Paul’s saying in Romans chapter 15, as he’s taking this idea and putting it on these brethren the way they should act, very similar to 2 Corinthians 8 and 9, actually, doing the same thing there. The grace of God should cause us to be gracious to one another. But in chapter 15 of Romans one, Romans 15 and verse 1, it says, We who are strong have an obligation to bear the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves.

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good to build him up. For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, the reproaches of those who approached you fell on me. It is this guiding principle for those who are Christians, for those who are God’s people, that we filter our life and our actions through the cross. We look at the behavior of Jesus and the things that he has done, and we are modeling our lives after that. So I want to talk this morning just for a few minutes about how we can go about doing that. We can look at a text like Philippians chapter 2 and take some of the thoughts from this text and use it to help as we go forward in life.

And let me just say this is this is not saying that we can’t ever have an opinion or that we can’t ever want something specific in our lives. That’s not the point Paul’s making. That’s not what Christ is asking of us. He knows we’re going to have opinions, he knows we’re human, but it’s really the attitude that stands behind the way that we think that is often all the difference. The way that we treat people, the way we think through circumstances, the way we try to support the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace that is created through Jesus Christ through this fellowship. Here it’s it’s called participation. It’s really the same idea, participation in the spirit, a fellowship that we have in the Spirit through Jesus Christ.

How we act and how we live in the context of this reality. So what I want to bring up is not anything remarkable. It’s not going to be something you’ve never heard before. It’s going to not be life shaping for you that you hear these words. I mean, it’s more of a reminder of what Scripture actually guides us to think and how to act based on texts like Philippians chapter 2. Understanding all the while that really perspective makes a huge difference, not just in the way I think, but the way I put those thoughts into action. Difficulty, I want us to understand this. Difficulty threatens unity. And we have to be aware of that. Matt and Jen in their marriage classes often talk about leaning in to conflicts.

Not being so afraid of when we run the other way or we avoid them, but realizing you can grow through conflict. And that’s not just true in marriage, it’s true in life. Sometimes we have to lean into the difficulties that we’re facing and realize they need to be faced, they need to be dealt with, but they have to be dealt with in the right attitude, from the right demeanor, understanding what’s at stake. That difficulty, it threatens the unity that we have. The discussions and the problems that we’re facing, if we allow them, they can destroy us. And that’s precisely what Paul wants to avoid in Philippians 2. He knows where he’s going with this. He knows he’s going to go to chapter 4 to deal with these two women who are at odds with each other.

And he’s reminding them what they’re supposed to have in Christ, this kind of mindset, this same mind and same love and being a full accord and of one mind. This great oneness that we’re supposed to have as God’s people, he’s reminding them, and he’s a great rhetorician. Don’t let anybody confuse you. Even when Paul says he doesn’t use great words, he’s in the midst of using great words. He knows exactly what he’s doing. So don’t be deceived by that. He’s saying he’s not an orator going out making money speaking. That’s that’s what Paul’s making a point of in 1 Corinthians when he makes that point about others coming and deceiving and trying to make money at what they’re doing. That’s not what he’s doing. But he is very skilled, and he knows exactly what he’s doing as he’s talking about the type of relationship they should have in Christ.

1. Unity Requires Looking Inward First

And then chapter 4, there’s two women who are at odds with each other. And they need to be united again, working side by side in the gospel. The first thing we have to understand if we are going to maintain unity is that unity requires looking inward first. Looking inside, doing deep introspection. And I want us to pay attention to the words that Paul uses here in Philippians chapter 2, as he’s talking about this fellowship in the Spirit and what this is all going to look like. He talks about things like if there is encouragement in Christ. Really, the question we have to ask is what kind of person am I? That’s introspection. What kind of person am I? When I’m interacting with other people, whether it’s brothers and sisters in Christ or other people around me at work or in my neighborhood, what kind of person am I deep down?

And that’s really what I think Paul’s getting at here in this first section of Philippians chapter 2. If there is encouragement, if there is affection and sympathy, if you have love, those are internal things. That’s not a matter of externality. That’s not because there’s a problem, I’m different. I can stay the same no matter what forces are around me. I can be in the midst of very trying and difficult times and still be an encourager. I can still show affection. I can still be sympathetic. Those things don’t have to change just because there’s problems happening around. This is something that is internal. And so to have unity requires that I’m looking within, that I’m asking, what kind of person am I? What kind of person do I want to be?

And as we’re asking that question and thinking about that question, we’re going to realize we don’t always do it just right, and that’s part of the point. That’s why we ask the question. That’s why we think through it. There’s going to be times where we say something too harsh. There’s going to be times when we don’t show the right type of affection or we don’t reach out to someone who is down and try to encourage when we know we probably should have. And so we ask these questions and we think through them, we’re looking within rather than at everybody else. Now we’re going to talk about looking outward in a minute. But we got to start with looking inside. And think about these ideas that Paul presents here in Philippians 2.

Do these describe the way that I interact with other people? When I look at this list, am I an encouragement? Am I offering comfort? Do I feel united? Do I have this fellowship with them in Christ? Am I showing affection? Sympathy? Do I feel with them? Or we can probably even throw empathy. Am I feeling together in the same circumstance? We all actually should be able to do some of that because we’re going through the same things.

Or am I lashing out? Creating problems, dividing people. I don’t think that’s the idea of what Paul wants us to be doing. And when he makes this statement about the sameness and the oneness, I think sometimes we may get confused on what he’s after here. He tells them they’re to have the same mind and the same love, be a full accord and one mind. This is not about fully agreeing in every single detail about everything. That’s not what Paul’s talking about here. That’s not the point. He’s talking about having all of this in terms of relationship. And here’s the way I know this. When you continue on the text, the whole point is people don’t agree. That’s really the issue. How do you act? It’s not about agreeing on every single detail or every single point of life.

It’s actually about how we interact with people when we don’t agree. That’s what he’s after. Do we have this focus on the same love, on the same reality of what Christ has done for us, despite whatever difference we may have on questions of things in this life and on this earth? Do we agree on the things that actually matter? Do we have one mind on what actually matters in life? That’s what Paul’s really after here. That we’re we’re thinking along the same lines. We may not agree about all the details about how we should live a material life and the things that go on in life around us. We may have difference of opinion on the economy or about what is best for our health or whatever it may be, but we are in one mind in the same love of the things that actually matter.

And you know it’s interesting that he comes back to that in Philippians 4 again. Paul knows what he’s doing.

He says, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is in any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. That’s the concept that Paul wants us to understand in terms of oneness. That our minds are directed in one way. Not that we have to agree about all the details of things in life, particularly things that aren’t even really of a spiritual nature. It’s that we understand that we need to be seeking first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.

And that we understand the way we ought to act when we maybe don’t agree about everything else in life. I want to stop for just a second and make a point, especially in this sermon, but it’s true of every sermon, but especially at this moment. That what we’re talking about right here needs to apply to me, to self. If you’re sitting here this morning and you’re thinking about the person you disagree with on Facebook, you don’t get it. You have missed the point. If you’re applying everything we’ve just talked about to the other person, and the things they have said and the things they have done, you’re missing what Paul’s saying here. And so whether it’s me and considering things in my life or you and considering things in your life, I need to focus on me and how I need to be acting and how I need to be thinking, not trying to correct you in what you’re thinking and what you’re acting.

It’s a little bit like marriage again. You know, Paul doesn’t say, hey, you know, make sure that your wife respects you, husbands. And husbands, make sure your wife loves you. You know, you go make that happen, and that’s going to be the secret to marital bliss. I think we all understand that would be a huge mistake. And God in his wisdom did not say that through the Apostle Paul. And so maybe we should consider that even in our interpersonal lives with those who are not our spouses.

Or to please my neighbor as Christ set out to please us, like it says in Romans 15. That my job is to do that, not to try to make sure that everybody else does that for me. And I have to say, I think one of the struggles we have in our society is we have built a culture in a society that’s all about making and demanding everybody else to please me. And I don’t really care which side of whatever issue you’re talking about, because we’re so feelings-driven, emotions driven, that’s the nature of how it tends to work. I think we need to be aware of that, and it’s only heightened through things like social media, which again is all about me. My space, right? The old one.

You probably don’t even know about that, young ones. But I mean, that’s where a lot of this started, right? My space. It’s all about me. Facebook, it’s all about me. YouTube. It’s all about you. And what you’re putting out there. Now, listen, I’m not saying those things are bad in and of themselves. I just want us to understand they’re all directed toward one thing, and it’s how I feel and what I want to display about myself. And that can have some serious dangers connected to it, especially sociologically in the way we’ve shaped our culture now because of these sorts of things, we really struggle to look inward. And think about things like sympathy and affection and how those are demonstrated day to day in person to person.

2. Look Outward to the Interest of Others

And let me just throw this out there. It’s interesting. The things I read on Facebook and I see on Facebook from different people, it’s it’s actually this is so common in almost every single day. It’s not really reality. When I go around and I actually am around people and I see people, which one of the problems we’re going through right now, is we are having trouble doing that. People are not at each other’s throats, and they’re not all upset about every single little thing. But they get on a message board and their fingers get going and they act like it. And so again, it’s about perspective. And if we’re going to have unity, not only we have to look inward, but Paul tells us we have to look outward, but maybe not in the way we’re used to, maybe not to criticize or to cast down or to find every little error and problem and every way someone thinks, but actually to look to their interest.

Notice the thing that he says here. We’re trying to see what’s best, particularly here, what is best not just for me, but for the body, for God’s people. That’s the context of what Paul’s dealing with here. It’s about living in humility. So he says, do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. And that is hard. Looking at people with their circumstances is saying, that is more important than my situation. Now I do want to note that he doesn’t say it’s not important at all. He goes on in the next line to say, let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. It’s not that we neglect our own interests and never think about what we need or the things that would be good for us.

But it’s perspective that we also look to the interests of others and we count them more significant than ourselves. It’s the cruciformity.

And I want to give maybe just a guiding influence on how to think through that, because I think that is somewhat complex. I mean, how do we go through life and we are thinking about others’ interests and counting other people more significant than ourselves? Because we do have things that we need in our life. We do have interests. And so this is not just about neglecting everything that we actually need. But I think Paul again helps us out with that. I want you to look at 1 Corinthians chapter 9. First Corinthians chapter 9. Paul is in the middle of this letter to the Corinthians and dealing with some of the struggles that they’re going through and really having to tell them what he’s doing for them, because they are so unmindful of what he and some others are doing to help them.

And in verse 12, he’s talking about the rights that he has in chapter 9. And are he and Barnabas the only ones who don’t have the right to marry? And some of these other things, which of course he does have the right, but he’s choosing not to do that for their benefit. But look at verse 12. Excuse me, verse 9, chapter 9, and verse 12. It says, Nevertheless, we have not made use of this right, but we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ. So here’s the way I want us to think about this on a foundational level. It’s not that I have to neglect things I have interest in or the things that I would like.

But here’s what Paul says here in chapter 9. I have all kinds of rights. I have opinions, I could get married if I wanted to. I don’t have to do the things I’m doing, but I’m doing it for your behalf. And even more than that, he says, we endure anything rather than put an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Christ. If voicing my opinion or forcing others to see my right, is putting an obstacle in the way of the gospel, I have gone too far. So back up. It doesn’t mean we don’t have rights.

Or that we can’t offer opinions. We can do that. But the point I think we get from what Paul’s saying here is that we be very mindful that any of those things are not presenting obstacles to the gospel. And I take the gospel to be very broad here. I often do, but particularly here, this is not just about people getting wet in the baptistry. This is about the message of healing in Christ that God provides through his plan. If I’m disturbing that, if I am disrupting what God offers because I’m sharing my opinions and I’m demanding things, if I’m disrupting the unity of the body of Jesus Christ, to enforce the things that I want that is not following Philippians 2. And it is certainly not, at least following the model that Paul sets for us here in 1 Corinthians 9 and verse 12, the second part of that verse.

Where he says, I’ll endure anything not to put an obstacle in the way of the gospel. Now, that doesn’t mean that material things never matter and they don’t have consequences. Certainly they do, but the point is other things are more important. There are things that are more vital than the things that happen here and are material and then are temporary. And that’s the very reason that Jesus says that to seek first, it’s the priority, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then all these other things will be added to you. Don’t worry about all the other stuff. Focus on what matters most first, and then all the other things will fall into line. It doesn’t mean I have to always cave to everyone else’s wishes.

3. Seek to Hear, Not Just to Be Heard

But I better really take care with my views and the way that I express them. Which then leads to this last idea, and that is we need to be the kind of people that seek to hear, not just to be heard. I’ll tell you one of the things I’ve learned, and I think I’m not going to speak for Tony, but you can ask him later. I think he would verify this. One of the things I’ve learned in however many years I’ve been preaching, 15, 16, 17, I don’t know, is that what people want most is to be heard. If you will give somebody your ear and listen, I mean, really listen, they will go away thinking you are such a great friend to them. Because people want to be heard.

They’re wrestling with problems in their life, they’re wrestling with ideas, they’re trying to figure things out. And half the time I don’t even say all that much, but the person feels so much better when we’re done talking. Because they need to express their thoughts, they need to be heard. They need to see that someone cares, that someone is sympathetic, right? These are things right out of Philippians 2. That they’re not going to just be criticized immediately for what they think, but they’re going to be allowed to work through something. And I really think not just the situations we’re going through today, but most situations and situations going on to the future could be solved in a great way if we have this concept that we seek to hear people rather than just waiting to say what we want to say.

I mean, that’s that’s one of the key things with communication or conflict resolution within a marriage relationship or with any relationship, that we actually are active listeners, that we listen to what’s being said, and we’re not just ready to throw back the next thing that we think. And I think this does a whole lot of damage among God’s people in situations like this. When we’re so ready to jump, when I’m so ready to jump back on something and comment on it or express what I think without much thought of some of the things we’ve just been talking about from passions like Philippians 2. I’ve already talked about social media and the internet in general, but make no mistake, everything wrapped up in what you do on the internet is trying to sell something to you.

Again, a very big problem. There are algorithms, there are all kinds of things that are geared to show you exactly what you want to see. What it is a massive echo chamber. Whatever you think, it’s going to send that back to you and tell you’re right. Except for the few people who may disagree with you in a post or a comment. But all the articles you’re going to see, what you get on searches when you search things on Google, it is geared to sell you things. And it is geared to track your search results and then send back to you the things that you most want to see.

But I am saying we better be aware of that. And realize sometimes we haven’t heard as much as we think we’ve heard. Because we’re mostly hearing people who say the same things we say. And then it creates, it creates animosity, unfortunately, sometimes between brothers and sisters in Christ. And I will remind you that Paul says in 1 Corinthians 8 and verse 1, knowledge puffs up, but love edifies. He’s not saying don’t worry about truth. That’s not his point, but he is saying be patient. You know the context of that statement? I think this would blow people’s minds if we sat down and studied through 1 Corinthians 8 and really found out what Paul’s addressing there. There are brothers and sisters in Christ in the Church of Corinth who are struggling still with idolatry with idols.

And he’s telling the ones who are stronger to be patient.

To be patient with them. I mean, if we encountered somebody who is still worshiping idols, what would be our reaction? I mean, I hope this isn’t insensitive, but I think that we would think they’re crazy.

And maybe that’s how these people felt in 1 Corinthians 8. And Paul’s telling them, even as serious as this was, he says, you need to be patient with them and understand, don’t come at them with arrogance and pride. You got to give people time to figure things out and to learn. And so even when you know you’re right, know you’re right. You gotta be patient with people and allow them to learn through the process. And so let’s just make this specific. Whether or not you think a mask should be worn, it’s not a matter of eternity. Absolutely makes no difference for eternal life. Doesn’t matter what position you hold. Whether or not you think that the coronavirus spreads as quickly as originally thought, or is not spreading as quickly as originally thought, that doesn’t make any difference with saving a soul.

Whether or not you think the government is manipulative and underhanded or not, really makes no difference in whether you trust and serve Jesus Christ.

And again, this doesn’t mean there’s no consequences to any of these things, but brethren have dealt with all kinds of consequences of evil and good actions that happen with all humanity for all time. This is nothing new. That’s why Peter can say what he does in 1 Peter chapter 5. You’re not dealing with anything that’s any different than the brotherhood. That’s what he tells them. Everybody’s dealing with problems. Everyone’s dealing with situations they have to work through. There are evil governments, there are good governments, there are all kinds of things happening that we have to sift through and work through in the midst of all of that. Our most important thought should be that we seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness with God’s people, not being a divisive influence.

Conclusion

And what it all really comes back to in the thought of Philippians chapter 2 is that having the right attitude makes all the difference. It changes my perspective. When I understand the reasons why someone may be more careful about how they’re dealing with whatever the situation is that I am, and I actually listen. Or maybe I actually listen to why someone isn’t as concerned about certain things in life, and I actually listen to why. Make all the difference. Rather than pounding the same four points over and over again on Facebook posts and comments and Instagram and whatever else people want to share with memes and comments. Maybe we work to be a little bit more like what Paul says in Philippians chapter 2. Encouragers, sympathetic, trying to see the whole story.

Remember Sarah? That hard to work with, harsh female executive. And who knows what else they thought about her as she went from department to department trying to tell people what to do. All the while she’s suffering with the thoughts of her own mortality. And trying to make a difference, not just in the people in her workplace, but in the world before she’s gone. So put in the right context, it makes all the difference. If you’re viewing this online and you have things you’re working through, difficulties you’re having, please reach out. We have an email address we’ve been putting up there in most of our online videos, and you can reach out through that. You can find us online at DeckerPrairie.com and ask questions. We would love to help you any way we’re able to.

Those of you here this morning, let’s make a commitment that we’re going to show love and affection to each other. That we’re going to deal in truth, that we’re going to focus on our fellowship, the relationship that we have in Jesus Christ, and not get so caught up in all the things happening around us in this temporary life. And move forward as people who are united. Who are going to come through this stronger and more ready to serve each other and to serve Christ in the days ahead? If you realize that you need some help, we have elders who are here this morning who are ready to talk to you, who are ready to listen to you. Maybe you have fallen away, you’ve you’ve stepped away from Christ, you realize your need.

There’s a lot of that happens in these types of situations. When things are bad, when things are rough, people realize they need Jesus. And if that’s where you are, we want to help. And it may be that you know you need to give your life to Jesus Christ this morning. You see the world around you is not the answer, but a life in Christ is the answer. And we want to help you with that. Can we help you this morning? Why don’t you come as we stand and we sing together?