Be Self-Disciplined

Introduction

Good morning. Good morning, everyone. My Bible is open to Luke chapter 9, verse 23. You need to find a Bible and you need to find Luke 9 and 23. That’s where we’re starting from right now. If you don’t have a Bible, pull one out of the pew rack or slide over next to someone and elbow them firmly in the ribs and say, share. But you need to look in the Word of God. This is about Luke 9. And this is about verse 23. Jesus Christ says here, Luke 9 and 23. If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. There may never ever have been or will be a sentence more full of challenge than what I just read, what Jesus just spoke.

Because what Jesus says in Luke 9 23 is that discipleship, following him, serving Jesus Christ, is done on an everyday basis. Daily we follow Jesus Christ. My name is Mark Roberts. I’m from Irving, Texas, and I have come to talk with you about every day discipleship. That means that I do not intend to be wandering around in the ecclesiastical wilderness talking about academia, Greek nouns, Hebrew verbs, or other stuff that doesn’t amount to anything. I am here to talk with you about Luke 9 23. How to get it and understand it and be it and live it and do it every single day. Everyday discipleship. That means, oftentimes, the discipleship that goes about in ordinary life. Much of life is not spectacular, huge and incredible. It is lived out in day-to-day existence.

I do want to talk with you about serving Jesus Christ and the ordinary things of life Monday to Saturday, not just on Sunday. And I do want that to be practical and doable as we serve the Lord. That’s what we’re about. And here is our official plan. Do something dramatic. Here is our official plan to get us there. This is what I want to talk with you about. In a moment, we’ll be thinking about self-discipline tonight. Part of daily discipleship is what we do when we don’t get what we want. And I need to visit with you about that this evening. On Monday evening, then, Lord willing, we need to talk about reading our Bible. Every day, I want to read my Bible. So many reading plans start well in January, and by the Super Bowl, we are 8,000 chapters behind and we give it up.

We’ve got to do better than that. On Tuesday, we need to talk about trusting the Lord and waiting on the Lord. That is rough. That’s part of daily discipleship. And then on Wednesday, we want to think a little bit about evangelism and what it means to help somebody else to understand the truths of God’s word that we have been blessed to know. That’s what we’re about. That’s what everyday discipleship is about, and it begins right now. In 2 Corinthians chapter 4, would you read with me there? 2 Corinthians 4. I’m reading right at the end of the chapter in verse 16. In 2 Corinthians 4 and in verse 16, Paul says there, so we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison. For we look not to the things that are seen, but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, the things that are unseen are eternal. I do want to begin thinking about everyday discipleship by giving you the secret to everyday discipleship. If you will put in play in your life what I’m talking about this morning, you will do better in every part of your life. You will be more successful at work, you will have a better marriage, you will have better health. Parents, if you lock into this secret, you will raise kids that are more independent, more courageous, that are able to do better in school and go forward into a better life.

Every part of life will be made better. And especially, this is important. You can take this secret to the next level because it is the essence of following Jesus Christ. That means what I’m talking about, this secret, is the secret to success now and in eternity. And I’m not just hyping. I’m not just saying a bunch of preacher stuff and so forth. No, the secret I’m talking about was proven in a major university study. The secret that I’m talking about is one of these. For those of you who are sitting in the back and can’t see that, I’m not going to tell you. You should have said closer. No, that’s so wrong. You couldn’t sit closer here. How would you do that? What that is that’s a marshmallow, isn’t it?

That’s exactly what that is. Marshmallows, mostly egg whites and sugar, better living through sugar, that’s one of my mottos. Marshmallows at one time were considered a candy. Now they are the star of campfire camp outs, and of course you can’t have hot chocolate without them. Some people I hear barbarians eat them raw. They are amazing, and they are absolutely the secret to everyday disciple shoe. I say that because these little guys were the stars in a major university study done by Professor Walter Michel at Stanford University. In the 1960s, he had one of these, and he would set it on a table in front of a hungry four-year-old. He would tell that four-year-old, you can eat that marshmallow anytime you want, anytime you want. But if you’ll wait, if you’ll just wait, I’ve got to run an errand.

If you’ll wait a few minutes and not eat the marshmallow, if you’ll wait till I come back, I’ll give you two marshmallows. What do you think happened? Well, you know exactly what happened. A lot of those four-year-olds woofed the marshmallow on the spot. Some of them ate it before the professor could get out of the door. Some of the kids held on a little bit longer, but a lot of them ate the marshmallow. Two thirds of four-year-olds ate the marshmallow. However, there was a segment, about one third, that didn’t eat the marshmallow. Professor Michael then tracked those kids as they made their way through life. And the results were profound and utterly stunning. What he found was that two marshmallow kids, the kids who held out, the kids who could resist did better in every part of life.

They were more positive, they were more self-motivating, they were more persistent in the face of difficulties. They could delay gratification to pursue their goals. The kids who ate the marshmallow right away, who couldn’t wait, those kids found that life was more difficult. They were more troubled, they were more indecisive and less self-confident, more mistrustful. They had trouble subordinating immediate impulses to achieve long-term goals. And that meant, of course, that their grades suffered. On the average, their SAT scores were 210 points less than two marshmallow kids. That lack of ability to wait followed them through the rest of their lives, resulting in unsuccessful marriages, low job satisfaction and income, bad health, generally frustrating life. Ms. Scale’s study using nothing but a simple marshmallow proved that the secret to success in life is self-control.

Self discipline. And I’m here this morning to crusade for you being a two marshmallow person. I want to talk with you about self-discipline, self-control. I want to talk with you about the marshmallow principle. Not because I’m so all fired interested in you making great grades at school or doing so well on the job, but because it is absolutely the secret to being a disciple of Jesus Christ every single day. That’s our task, isn’t it? Look at what Paul says. He says, verse 17, these momentary afflictions. We’re not paying attention to that because we don’t look at what is seen. We are waiting for something much better. That’s what it’s about. Self-control. The ability to delay gratification, to do what is best, not what is most fun right now.

That’s what it takes to follow Jesus Christ. But if you can’t do that, if you’re constantly gobbling the one marshmallow, you’re never going to succeed. Not in life, and not with the Lord. This morning, we need to think about marshmallows. And we need to think about how to be a two marshmallow person, parents particularly. What can we do to help our young people, to help our kids? Be self-controlled. Be self-disciplined. Maybe the way to begin that is to start with some foundational truth. Let’s get some Bible underneath us. Let’s start by understanding that in the Bible, the Lord loves self-control. Look again at Luke 9.23. Look what Luke 9.23 says. Luke 9.23 is about self-control. If anyone would come after me, you need to deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow after me.

Look over with me in Titus, in Titus chapter 2. Look what Paul has to say about self-control. Titus 2 and verse 2. Older men, Greg Titus 2 and 2. Older men, likewise, are to be sober-minded and dignified and, -huh, -huh. Self-controlled. How about older women, verse 3? They need to train young women, verse 4, to what? Verse 5? Be self-controlled. Verse 6: Young men. What do young men need? They need to be self-controlled. All of us, verse 11, for the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled. Upright and godly lives in this present age as we wait for the blessed hope and appearing in the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.

The essence of everyday discipleship is self-control. Christianity runs on self-discipline. It is the fuel in who we are before the Lord. What we are saying is the devil’s offering us one very good looking, really super tasty marshmallow. We look at that and what do we say? No, I’ll pass. I’m waiting for something better. God’s gift of two amazing marshmallows. The Bible from start to finish is about self-control. The Lord loves self-control. You also need to know. Our society hates self-control. Everything in our world trains. Get it now. Do it now. Get outside the rules. Do what you want, all you want, when you want, don’t control yourself. That’s not just a pitch for consumer goods. Have you noticed how our society treats people who are successful?

People who are successful are often wanted because they’re, because they’re just so talented. Or because their parents had a lot of money. Or they started with such an Ivy League education. Our society does not want to say that the way to succeed is to discipline yourself. Give you an example of that. What happens when they start talking about the quarterback, Peyton Manning? What do we hear about? All we hear about with Peyton Manning is his relationship with his dad. Archie Manning was a great quarterback. Peyton Manning’s a great quarterback, and of course, what do we do? We add in Eli Manning. Oh, there you go. These guys are practically born throwing a football. The reason I’m not an NFL quarterback, I wasn’t born into the Manning family.

There you go. That’s all it takes to be a, of course. What’s the real story about Peyton Manning? Yes, Peyton Manning is very talented. But he also knows that self-control is essential to develop talent. Peyton Manning is famous for his work ethic. When everybody else is coming off the practice field, Peyton Manning’s saying, we’re going to throw another hundred passes. When everybody’s going to town to have a good time, no thanks. Pass it on the one marshmallow. I’m going to watch more film. In fact, in Peyton Manning’s last season, much of that season was about how Peyton Manning’s mind was so well prepared that even when his arm wasn’t what he really wanted it to be, he was still an excellent quarterback because he works so hard.

He’s so self-disciplined to say no to what’s fun and really having a good time right now. More video games, watching Netflix until your eyes bleed, all of that stuff. He says no to that so that he can do something better. Self control, self discipline, the ability to do what matters most. That’s really the key. You want the good news to all of that? The good news to all of that is guess what? You can learn self discipline. The secret to success isn’t something beyond you. Because your parents didn’t send you to the right school, or because you didn’t inherit the right genes, you’ll never know! You can learn self-discipline. Look in 2 Peter with me. In 2 Peter chapter 1, notice what Peter says there. In 2 Peter 1, I’m reading in verse 5.

There, Peter says, In 2 Peter 1 and verse 5, for this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and with virtue with knowledge, and add to your knowledge. There it is, there it is. There it is. Self-control. God wouldn’t tell you to add self-control in your life. If you couldn’t, it is one of the fruit of the Spirit. You can put it in your life because God commands you to put it in your life. You know that you can do that and obey and please God. So if you’re sitting here this morning and you’re thinking, oh no, I’m totally about the one marshmallow man, I’d have gobbled it on the spot. Good news, you can learn self-control. If you’re here this morning, parents, you’ve got a toddler, and you’re thinking, oh my, we are raising the total one marshmallow.

1. Quit Excusing Eating the One Marshmallow

Good news. You can raise a child who’s here this morning, you’ve got a teenager. You’re thinking, oh no, my teenager is all about one marshmallow. There’s no good news, you’re sunk. No, that’s totally not true. That is totally not true. Your teenager can develop and learn self-control. Someone says, How are we going to do that? So glad you asked. Let me share with you some key ideas that will help your everyday discipleship as you are more self-controlled. Let’s just start with all the excuses we make. You want to be more self-disciplined? Quit excusing eating the one marshmallow. Let me show you that in the Bible. Look in Hebrews chapter 11 with me. In Hebrews chapter 11, I’m reading here about Moses. In Hebrews 11 and verse 24.

In Hebrews 11 in verse 24, by faith, Moses, when he was growing up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to be mistreated with the people of God than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. Hebrews 11 and 26. He considered the reproach of Christ greater wow than the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking to the reward. That’s two marshmallows. That is so two marshmallows. He could have rationalized away. Why, I’ve got to eat the marshmallow right now. There’ll never be a second marshmallow. I can’t wait. I’m not gonna wait. No. He waits. Too often. We don’t do what Moses did. And then we come up with genius explanations to cover our tracks. So here’s Johnny, and he’s not doing really well in school, and he hands in his science projects like a cup of dirt, and he gets an F.

And what do we say about that? We said, man, this school district, we’ve got to get in a better school district. I’m gonna go down there, I’m gonna yell at that teacher. That’s really gonna do. Okay, all of that feels good in the moment, gobbling up that one marshal. Oh, I’m a great parent now. I’ve moved our family in a better district. We got a tutor. I screamed at the administrators. What’s the real problem? Johnny is texting and Facebooking with his friends all night long. He went to the movies, he’s not studying, he’s not trying, he’s not working hard, he’s not developing himself. All this other stuff just covers up for the fact that what? Johnny is in self-control. And it’s not just Johnny. We’re driving in this amazing traffic, somebody cuts in front of us.

What’s dad doing screaming? Made a driver and make it all kinds of hand gestures and so forth. The wife’s embarrassed, she’s trying to hide in the glove compartment, kids are in the back saying, You tell them, Dad. Then we realize what? Yeah, that whole angry words, oh, let them never. Now we’re a little red faced. What do we say? I’ll tell you what, if people drive better, I wouldn’t have to yell them like that. That’s it, you know, where they get their get their driver’s license out of a gumball machine. I tell you, if they people wouldn’t do that. What’s it about? We’re making excuses. Start talking to young people about promiscuity, social drinking, dancing, modest apparel. What is the first thing that comes out of their mouth?

Everybody at school is doing it. Do you hear it? Do you hear it? Do you hear it? You hear that excuse? I can’t wait. Everybody else gobbling the one marshmallow. I guess I’m just gonna have to do it too. Listen to me. We are the people of God. We follow Jesus the Christ. There is never an acceptable reason for eating the one marshmallow. What we need to say when we fail to be self-controlled is I failed, I sinned, I did wrong. I did not control myself, and I need to do better next time. As soon as we quit excusing eating one marshmallow, as soon as we quit pretending that in some situations it really is okay to gobble the one marshmallow, we have taken a huge step forward in serving Jesus Christ.

2. We Need a Plan

That leads me secondly to say, what we need is we need a plan. We need a plan. What about those kids? What about those kids in that marshmallow study? Now they did not get any kind of opportunity to prepare for that. Mom and dad did not work with them the night before on self-control. They just got popped with it. But most of the time, we know exactly where our weaknesses are, don’t we? We know where we sin and where we have troubles. We know in our everyday discipleship where we are weak. So let me ask you how are you preparing yourself to meet that moment when the devil puts that one marshmallow in front of you? Young men, when you’re home alone and you’re tired and you’re bored, and pornography is a click away.

What are you doing about that? When someone does pull out in front of you in traffic and you’re tempted to say a bunch of words you shouldn’t say. What are you going to say next time? Do you see? A huge key, parents, is teaching our kids what to do when they don’t want to do what’s right. When they do want to eat the marshmallow, when they are fed up with being righteous and doing what God says, and it doesn’t feel good to be self-controlled. What do I do now? Look in Proverbs. In Proverbs chapter 22, the wise man says here, in Proverbs 22, grab verse 3. Proverbs 22 and 3, the prudent man, the prudent man sees danger and hides himself. But the simple go on and suffer for it.

Do you have a plan for when you see the one marshmallow? Can you hide yourself? Let me just recommend right here. What about prayer? Are we teaching our kids to pray? Lord, this is hard. And I really want to eat the one marshmallow. Lord, I know that you’ve made a way of escape. Give me that way of escape and help me to see that way of escape. Isn’t that what James recommended? In James chapter 1, James talks about wisdom. What kind of wisdom is he talking about in context here? In James chapter 1, there James says, verse 5, if any of you lacks wisdom, James 1 and 5, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without reproach, it’ll be given unto him.

3. Quit Staring at the One Marshmallow

What kind of wisdom, James? Verse 2. Can at all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds. For you know the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. The wisdom here is the wisdom to deal with troubles and difficulties and trials when we are pushed for our faith. When we want to eat the one marshmallow. We need to get a plan. We need to be ready for that moment. And a big part of that, a huge part of that, is to quit staring at the one marshmallow. What about those kids in that study? It’s pretty amazing that a four-year-old can wait 15 minutes and not eat a marshmallow. You wanna know how they did that? How does a kid do that? Well, some of the kids played little games with their fingers.

Some of the kids sang little songs. What I really love is one kid turned around and would not look at the marshmallow. That’s powerful. That is powerful. Let’s be candid. Sometimes we look at sin and we long for it. We see the passing pleasures of sin. We see the world involved in it. We see our friends involved in it, and we wish we could be too. What’s going to happen to a four-year-old who’s staring at the marshmallow? What’s going to happen?

I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna sm oh, come on. That marshmallow is gonna go away. The truth of the matter is, when it comes to developing self-control, sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We obsess over sin. We long for sin. We stare at sin. We see sin on television and movies, and then we wonder what happened and why we gobbled the marshmallow. We gotta do better than that. I can show you that in the Bible, too. Look in Genesis 39. In Genesis chapter 39, I’m reading about Joseph. Joseph was in an incredible marshmallow situation. In Genesis chapter 39, I’m reading there in verse 6. In Genesis 39 and 6, Potiphar left all that he had in Joseph’s charge. Because of him, he was not to concern himself about anything but the food he ate.

And Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. After a time his master’s wife cast her eyes on Joseph and said, Lie with me. He refused. Said, Behold, because of me, my master’s no concern about anything in this house. He’s put everything that he has in my charge. He’s not greater in this house than I am. He isn’t kept back anything from me except yourself because you’re his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? It’s wrong, woman. We’re not gonna do this. Eating that marshmallow is be the wrong thing to do. She spoke to Joseph day after day. Yet he would not listen to her to lie beside her or to be with her. He would not stare at the marshmallow.

What would have happened to Joseph if he had said, you know, we can’t do that, but you know, I guess we could hold hands a little. That’d that’d be okay. I guess we could snuggle. No. No. Would not listen. Would not be with her one day, verse 11. He went to the house to do his work, and none of the men of the house were there. She caught him by his garment and said, Lie with me. He left his garment in her hand, fled, got out of the house. You want to be self-disciplined? You know, people say things like, Well, I’m going to go to that party, alcohol’s going to be everywhere, but you know, I’m not gonna drink. Me and my girlfriend, we can get real physical in the backseat of the car.

4. Thinking About Our Reward

We’re not gonna go too far. Adults, what do we say? We’re gonna watch sin glorified and glamorized in television and movies. It won’t affect how I feel about the kingdom of God. You want to stop sinning? You want to be more self-controlled? Stop going places where they’re serving one marshmallow. Stop being around people who are pushing you to eat one marshmallow. When you’re someplace where they are serving the marshmallow, run away. That sounds pretty biblical, doesn’t it? Don’t long for sin. Get away from it. Which brings me to Matthew 25. And the fourth thing that I want to say, I need you to get Matthew 25 and verse 21. Because the key to all of this is that we’re thinking about our reward. When the professor did this study, when he came back after 15 minutes, sometimes even longer, when he came back, and that marshmallow was still there, you know what he did?

Gave that kid a second marshmallow. Which would mean then that if he said, You want to do it again? You know what that kid would say? Bring it. I got this. Come on, more marshmallow. But what would have happened if when the professor came back, the professor said, Huh? I just pulling your leg. You don’t get nothing. Could have had that one marshmallow along, you’re not getting another one. I was just kidding. Well, what happened then? You know what would have happened. Child would have felt that self-discipline did no good and was of no value. There it is. Sometimes I think the problem that Christians have is that we just don’t really believe there’s going to be another marshmallow. We don’t truly believe that our Lord Jesus Christ will descend from the heavens with a shout, and that he will reward those who have disciplined themselves and served him.

That’s Matthew 25, 21. Do you have that passage? In Matthew chapter 25 and verse 21 as part of the parable of the talents. Jesus says, this servant who disciplined himself and who did so well, the master said to him, Matthew 25 and 21, Well done. Good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master. What is that like? Do you think about that? I think about that. What is it like to stand before God on the day of eternity and hear him say, well done. To know that the struggle is over, to know that you will never be tempted again, that we will never know heartache and misery and tears, that we will be permanently and forever insulated from the terrors of the devil and all that he brings to our lives.

That we did it, that we triumphed that by the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. We made it. What is it like to hear Jesus say, well done, good and faithful servant? And when we meditate upon that, what could the devil possibly offer us that would cause us to say, oh yeah, I’ll take that. Over hearing Jesus say, well done, good and faithful servant. What you and I need to believe is not only will Jesus return, but that he is coming with the second marshmallow, he is coming with an 18-wheeler load of marshmallows for those who have controlled themselves, disciplined themselves, and served him. A great day is coming. My friend Gary Henry says, self-discipline comes from having a hope that means enough to us that we refuse to give it up.

We find the strength to say no when we have a powerful yes burning within us. Is the yes of heaven burning in your life? That fuels the commitment to be self-disciplined every day. I preached this lesson in a meeting. And it wasn’t very long after I got an email from a Bible class teacher there. She said that she was teaching the preschool class of four-year-olds. And they got to talking about the meeting, and a four-year-old piped up and said, Jesus wants us to have marshmallows. But if we wait before eating one, we can have two.

Conclusion

And for those who have committed themselves to every day discipleship, who have self-disciplined themselves, they refuse to make excuses. They are working a plan to overcome sin. They get away from sin because they want to hear their master say, Well done, good and faithful servant. Great and grand things beyond our belief, await us. If we’ll just wait for the second marshmallow. Would you pray with me, please? Almighty God and Father in heaven. We’re so thankful for your word and the way it leads us to serve you. And we pray a blessing, Father, upon our attempts to build better self-control, to be more self-disciplined. Help us, Father, to understand the power of the second marshmallow of waiting for what you have planned for us. Help us not to be fooled by the devil and his author of one.

Help us to know, Father. Self-control always glorifies you. Help us, Father. To be self-disciplined, to wait for the second marshmallow. In Christ we pray. And amen. Let’s conclude this morning with an invitation song, an opportunity to follow Jesus Christ. If you’ve never been baptized for the remission of your sins, as Acts 238 teaches, this is what you need to do now. This is your beginning point. You need to start being a disciple by becoming a disciple. If you are serving the Lord, but you know that your life has not been what it ought to be, this is your opportunity to act and to act decisively. I need to be what God wants me to be. And if these brethren here can help you, forgive you as God forgives you, pray with you, strengthen you, this is your moment.

Your time to say, I want to serve the Lord. I want to become a Christian. I want to be a better Christian. We want to help you. Make your way right down front while we stand, while we sing.