Authentic Manhood

Introduction

So, what I would like to talk about, and it’s something that’s on my mind, and that’s typically, you know, what guys like us that do lessons that aren’t Tony, things that are on our mind, and it’s something that stuff I’ve been going through as well. Not that I’m feeling like I’m struggling with this, but it’s something I always want to keep in front of my mind, and it’s really the state of manhood today. And you know, we talk about manhood, and I’m not Tony with the slides, you guys, what you get, you better be thankful for. I wasn’t gonna do any. I think this is the fourth time I’ve used PowerPoint, so it’s going to get the message across. But what is authentic manhood?

We hear about that, being a real man or a man’s man. What does that mean? What does that look like? And sometimes I think that we’re a little bit confused on what that may look like. And ladies, don’t just use this lesson as ammunition against your guys. I’m mainly going to be talking to more of the guys, but moms, you’ve got boys that need to work towards this. Wives, you’ve got husbands that need help in this stuff. other ladies, you have men around you that need encouragement in these areas, and there’s something in here for all of us, because it’s going to be we’re going to be tying it right into a lot of good biblical stuff. Well, state of manhood today, let’s just look at what I’ve been seeing in society in general.

There’s a lack of clarity a lot of times with what is a man? What’s that look like? What is it supposed to be? There’s a lack of confidence in men. There’s there they don’t really know what their role is a lot of times. There’s no clear direction. another thing that I’ve been seeing and hearing from a lot of guys, there’s this general disappointment in life. And this isn’t just some 30-something, okay? I’m talking to men in every season from the from the teens to the 70s, 80s, and beyond. this general disappointment is like, well, whatever happened to, I thought I would be, I thought it was gonna feel different when I was here, you know. And no matter what season you are in your life, sometimes you have those thoughts creep in.

And there’s this disappointment, like, well, it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. Well, what did you think it was going to be? You know? And that’s what we’re going to work on trying to get to an answer to today. a lot of men have unresolved pain. Guys don’t talk about stuff like that, do they? That’s not something that you want to share because you so show your soft underbelly. Someone may rip it out. You know, you don’t want to you don’t want to talk about that stuff. But there’s a lot of guys are in pain. Women too. A lot of this you can just insert him or her, but I’m trying to talk as far as the men for their leadership capacity.

A lot of a lot of people are lonely. Lonely. We are in the most connected technologically age ever. And there’s been more people, and men especially complain about being lonely. They can be connected to anybody on Facebook that they want to, Twitter, Instagram, all of the social media stuff, but really that hinders deep personal connections. A lot of guys feel like they’re drifting. They’re doing what they’re supposed to do. Why do you get up in the morning? Well, I don’t know, I’m supposed to. Why do you go to work in the morning? Well, that’s what I got to do. Well, why do you do that? Well, I gotta make money. Well, why don’t you have to make money? Well, to feed my family. You know?

That’s what I’m supposed to do. And sometimes it feels empty because, guys, that’s not really your true purpose. Sure, you’re supposed to take care of your family, but there’s a truer, higher calling, and purpose. And that’s why this feeling of emptiness sometimes and drifting comes about, and you can’t really put your finger on it sometimes. You can’t really put your finger on it, and you just wonder what’s what why am I why am I feeling off? And all of us hit that in different stages and times of our life, male and female, without a doubt. So men that lack clear vision and purpose cause problems. They cause problems. They turn to escapes, whether that’s they escape to work and immerse themselves in work because they don’t really know what else to do, or that’s to just get away from problems that they’re having.

It could be sports, video games. They turn to boyish behaviors.

And boyish behaviors. Okay, everything, every one of y’all just had something pop in their head. Okay, so just run with that. I don’t have to elaborate a whole lot more. Excessiveness. Okay. Men that lack clear vision will a lot of times run to excessive behaviors, such as excessive sports, excessive hobbies, alcohol. That’s something that gets turned to an excess. Anger. This is kind of almost a default for a lot of guys. Because we’re meant to be warriors, you know. We were programmed that way. And testosterone basically kills half the brain connections you have. So you don’t think through things properly. You know. So a lot of our default emotions are anger. And we just go there. Okay, excessively. Because we don’t want to be challenged on something.

We don’t want to have to think through really what we’re doing. adultery. Pornography. Video games. I don’t have that on there. Forgot that one. That’s a big one. You know, I talked to guys that flunked out of college. I talked to them, well, why did you flunk out of college? Well, because I couldn’t handle reality. I had played so many video games that when I got in the real world, I couldn’t cope. Now that’s excessive. And that shows a lack of clear vision and purpose. So, these confuse men, guys, they create big problems. 90% of crime is committed by men. Statistically, just is, you know. And so, whenever there’s no compelling vision of manhood, men are going to settle for less. And guys, I don’t want that for us.

I don’t want to settle in life. I don’t want to feel like that I have truncated what I could have had. You know, I don’t want to feel like that I haven’t lived up. But what happens? If you don’t have higher goals and aspirations, then you just end up going through the motions. And you wake up one day, it may be in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s. You may wake up one day and look, where am I at? What am I doing? What’s my purpose? I don’t feel like I’m feeling, I don’t feel like I got a true purpose that drives me and compels me to do something for a higher calling. Men like this tend to become childish consumers. Their identity is based on stuff.

How big a boat do I have? How many cars do I have? How many, you know, you name it. You know, it’s stuff. You know. If it’s not that, they’re cowards and critics. Okay, they complain, but fearful taking issue. You ever seen the guy at work, you know, sitting there? He rolls up the guy and he’s on a forklift. He rolls up to the guy that’s sitting there on the assembly line working, the guy on the forklift’s eating the donut, and he’s like, Yeah, I got some great ideas to run this place, man, but they just won’t listen to me. You know. They ought to ask me, you know. And then the other guy’s like, well, what are your ideas? He says, Well, man, I wouldn’t do it this way, I wouldn’t do it this way, I do this.

And he says, Well, you ought to implement those ideas. Nah, they won’t listen to me. My ex-boss wouldn’t listen to me either. And the other guy working says, Yeah, your ex-boss, you know. And he’s like, Well, why don’t you start your own business? And that guy says, Yeah, I think I will. And the other guy’s like, You got my full support. You know. But he’s a critic. But it’s too cowardly or fearful to take initiative and actually do something about it. We’ve seen those people? Have we been to those people before? I mean, I have sometimes. You know, that’s why I can, and Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, don’t speak up, or you’re getting volunteered to do something. You know, because you just volunteered. If you’re going to say something, you got an idea, let’s run with it.

So we don’t want men that are settling, that are consumers, that are complainers and cowards. That’s not a vision of manhood that I think appeals to me at all. And probably not any of you either. So, real quick, I want to go just do a little history. And this, guys, this is not all inclusive. It’s just some points to look at how did we get to the state that we’re in. How did we get here? There’s several factors that are involved in all this. One goes back into the 19th century, the Industrial Revolution, where dads went from working at home and working in a trade with their sons and their family with them, and the son seeing pop work in the field or being a blacksmith or a farrier or whatever trade there, or carpenter, you know.

Dads left home and now they go to work. And that’s what they do. And that removed some examples and some leadership from the home that children were able to witness. especially World War I and two. The greatest generation left and saw horrific things, traumatic things. They came back home, got married, raised a family, but they were really kind of disconnected because emotionally they still weren’t facing or coping with the things that they had saw overseas, or what they had dealt with. And so you’ve got a generation of children growing up without that engaging leadership that they were able to have to guide them and lead them and help them through things in life. And that right behind that, moms in that period ended up raising more of the kids because dad wasn’t emotionally able to do it.

And then you’ve got the feminist movement came in, the feminism movement came in, and where, you know, yeah, okay, we’re equal, but then that shifted from being equal to the same. And that gets that gets, what does that mean? I mean, guys are like, what where do I fit in? What’s my role? And then the every TV show in the latter days showing the guy as an idiotic buffoon doesn’t help the stereotypical state of this either. And that’s not the way God designed it. That’s not the way man really is designed to work, but all these factors are playing a part. And here, most recently, a more recent phenomenon, I call it the boys to men, this extended adolescence. And don’t everybody go home and say, Sean said you’ve got to get married when you’re 18.

I’m not saying that. Or when you’re 20. But we’ve got this extended selfish finding themselves period that a lot of boys, because I wouldn’t call them men, they’re boys, into their late 20s, early 30s before they settle down. I’m not ready yet. I’ll settle down when I’ve traveled the world, when I’ve got a job, when I’ve got money, when I’ve got a house, when just name your price. And what the problem is that society gives them a free pass on this. And we had 18-year-olds going to work and fighting in Vietnam and war. I mean, that was the average age. It was 18. And if you’re guys that are in your 20s that are not married yet, I’m not picking on you, Jared.

I’m not picking on you. I’m saying that this is a trend that we see more so in the world than even in the church. I think Jared’s got a good head on his shoulders. He knows where he’s going. But this is a trend that we’re seeing in our in our today’s youth and men today. They don’t want to grow up, they get a free pass, and they’ve got this extended adolescence that in past times in our history wouldn’t have been tolerated. It just wouldn’t have been tolerated. And so it’s a problem. It’s a problem. So what’s the solution? Right? What’s the solution? Let’s go back to Genesis to the first man. Okay? We go back there, maybe we can find some things to pull ourselves back so we can catapult forward and improve on how we are.

Genesis 127. God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him, male and female, he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, rule over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. So what’s he saying there? There’s actually some directives here. Genesis 2 15. Then God, Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. So God gave him a job right here, didn’t he? He gave him a directive. God intended man to be like him, to create and cultivate. God created the garden.

He told the man to cultivate it. God’s cultivating mankind, if you will. He created man in his image. So that means that he wants man to act like him. God gave man a will to obey. Genesis 2.16 through 17. Right? That will. We go back and we’ll reread that again. I read it just a second ago. Let me just pop back to it. No, I didn’t. Genesis 2.16 and 17. We’ll do that real quick. So then the Lord commanded the man, saying, From any tree of the garden you may eat freely. But from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat. For in it the day that you eat from it, you shall surely die. So this will of man wasn’t his will.

God gave man a will. So man’s job was to obey God’s will. Okay, man’s job was to obey God’s will. And guys, this was not hard. One thing. One thing. Forget the Ten Commandments. Forget the whole old law. Moses forget the New Testament. At the beginning, God created man. He said, Here’s my will for you. Don’t eat that tree. And that was all Adam had to keep up with. That’s all Eve had to keep up with. I mean, it wasn’t rocket science. You know. How did we mess that up? You know, okay, so he gave him a work to do. In Genesis 1, 26 through 28 that we read a minute ago. He said, cultivate the garden, fill the earth, multiply, subdue the things that are created.

That’s his work, okay? So this work was to multiply and cultivate. That’s the word. He gave him a woman to love. Genesis 2.18. And the Lord God said, It’s not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. So that’s what Adam had. That was the tools he had. That was a directive. He had a will to obey. He had a work that he was called to do, and he had a woman to love. How did Adam do?

He failed. Failed miserably. I mean, like major face plant. We see the fall of Adam and of man, we typically call it in Genesis 3, verse 6. It says, When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was a delight to the eyes, and the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate, and she gave it all to her husband with her, and he ate.

And Eve had already told the serpent that we’re not supposed to eat of this tree. So she knew Adam had passed that much on to her. We’re not supposed to do that. Right? When they messed up, God modeled grace and he took care of them. They were afraid. They sewed fig leaves together, covered themselves, and God, you know, went ahead and an animal died to provide skins for them. And so you see the blood sacrifice kind of starting to creep in as some foreshadowing there, you know. But there’s hope. There is another Adam. There’s another Adam. Jesus, and he got it right. Right? 1 Corinthians 15 45, so it is written, the first man Adam became a living soul. The last man Adam became a life-giving spirit.

He needed to become a life-giving spirit. We talked about that some in the class this morning. That we’re dead when we do what Adam and Eve did. We’ve got no hope. And he is the perfect Adam in this life-giving spirit gives us life. Let’s take a few minutes, though, to compare the two Adams along with some other points that we’re going to do use to define manhood, and we’re going to show how Jesus is superior as far as every aspect of manhood. Adam, basically, we’re going to use for our purposes is conventional manhood. It’s kind of what the world sees. Jesus is authentic manhood. So, what is that? Okay, we’re going to define it. We’re going to have four points here. We’re going to go through that.

1. An Authentic Man Rejects Passivity

An authentic man rejects passivity. An authentic man rejects passivity. Passivity is one of the biggest dangers to men today. It was then. If you go back and read Genesis 3 6, it says, when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and it was a light of the eyes, and the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from the fruit and ate, and she also gave it to her husband who was with her. And he ate. Eve’s over here having a conversation with the serpent, and Adam’s just sitting there. I don’t want to be involved. You handling, honey. We’ve got my football game on. Y’all don’t bother me. I’m updating Facebook. You know. Passivity. Passively standing there and letting her deal with this one.

He should have been out there with a shield and a sword taking care of her. Wasn’t doing it. Passivity, guys, we’ve got to reject it. David and Goliath, you see David come on the battlefield. What are y’all doing letting this giant threaten everybody? And they’re just sitting in their tents. We’re going to play it out. Maybe God will do something. You know? We’re waiting for something to happen. We’re too scared to go do anything. Abraham Lincoln went through four or five generals until he found one that would fight. And he finally got grant, and people wanted to get rid of him because he had an alcohol problem from time to time. He saw, I’m not going to get rid of him. He actually fights. He actually goes out and does battle.

Eli and his sons in 1 Samuel 3.13. You see that is that Eli was punished because his sons were sinning and he did not rebuke them, even though he knew it was going on. Passive. Passivity guys will kill you. We need to accept responsibility. Absolutely need to keep my notes sorted out here. We’re going to break this down. We need to lead courageously. We need to not be fearful. We need to get out in front and lead, and we also need to worry about investing eternally. We need to invest eternally. If we don’t do that, we’re going to be in an even worse state than we are right now. So, what does that look like? How do Adam and Jesus compare in these areas? Passivity? I already talked about that in Genesis 3.6.

He stood by passively as a serpent tempted Eve. That’s a, you know, stop and think about that. I never really hit me until I was going over this. Is that how bad is that? Is that he just sat there? And then, oh, are you going to give me some fruit? Sure, I’ll eat it too. You know? There’s no indication that he didn’t wasn’t aware of what was going on. Jesus, though, was he passive? Guys? What did he do with the money changers in the temple? How did he talk to the Pharisees? He would boldly teach. Yet he was humbly submissive. He was only submissive. Philippians 2 5. Have this attitude in yourself, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but he emptied himself, taking the form of a bondservant and being made in the likeness of men and being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death.

Even death on a cross. So it wasn’t just death, it was death on the cross, which was horrible death.

2. Accepting Responsibility

Accepting responsibility. What did Adam say in Genesis 3, 8 through 12?

He passed the book, didn’t he? We’re going to read that real quick. And they heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. And the Lord God called to the man and said, Where are you? And he said, I heard the sound of thee in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid myself. And he said, Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat? And the man said, The woman whom you gave us to me to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.

Oh, come on, Adam. Really? I guess it’s the truth, but if you had been sitting around asleep while your wife was dealing with the serpent, then it might the story might have ended a little differently. But it didn’t. And I’m glad it didn’t, because we’re better off for it now. How did Jesus accept responsibility? John 4, 34, Jesus said to them, My food, because they were asking him, Aren’t you going to eat? Aren’t you going to eat? Aren’t you hungry? He said, My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. Can we say that? Can we say that’s what nourishes us? Our food is to do the will of God and accept responsibility for that? John 17, 4.

I glorified you on the earth, having accomplished the work which you’ve given me to do.

3. Leading Courageously

I own my own business. I hire people to do stuff for me, for the business, and I give them tasks to do. And I’ve had lots of guys say, Well, it’s not my job. Not my responsibility. You know? that’s not being a man. Now you’ve got to have roles defined, yes. And if it was given to you to do, you need to do it. How about leading courageously? Did Adam? Nope. He blamed the woman and hid in the woods. That’s what Adam did. Right? Jesus, Luke 9.23 says, and he was saying to them all, if anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me. That’s right. That means he’s got to follow, right? John 10 27, my sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 1 Corinthians 16, 13, be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men. Be strong. So basically he’s saying, follow me as I follow the Father. Follow my example. Well, we’ve got to be an example as well if we want anybody to follow us. The only way to get your ducks in a row is to start moving, they’re going to follow in line. You know, if you see little gaggle of ducks or geese or anything, you know, when they’re not heading somewhere, they’re all willy-nilly. But whenever mama duck takes off, or mama goose takes off, they fall in line. Had a guy tell me one time, I’ll stand behind you if you’ll just make up your mind where you’re going to stand.

4. Investing Eternally

So, you know, you’ve got to pick a spot. Because if I’m going to line up behind this guy and he keeps moving, you’re like, you know, where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? Investing eternally? Adam lived for the moment. He went for the fruit. The low-hanging fruit, what we call it. The easy path. Right? Jesus, John 6.38, for I have come down from heaven not to do my own will, but the will of him who sent me. That’s part of that eternal look. This investing eternally. Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Neither moth nor rust destroys, and where neither thieves do break in or steal, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

And guys, where your heart is defines who you are and where you are. Because out of your heart flows everything that you do. You don’t do anything. You don’t take any action, big or small, that doesn’t come out of your heart in some way. It does. Period paragraph. It can’t happen any other way. So what’s in you is going to define and dictate your actions and behaviors. Period. Remember the list that we had? God gave man a will to obey, a work to do, a woman to love. Ephesians 5.25 talks about Christ there in the church. I’m going to read that real quick. It’s a very familiar passage. Ephesians 5.25 says, husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.

We already read John 6.38 and John 17 4. So God gave man these things too. But a lot of times people say, oh, well, wait, Jesus never was married. Yeah, he is. He married the church. He’s got a woman to love, and that’s us, and I’m glad that he is the man that he is. He wasn’t this blue-eyed, wimpy, soft picture that we see. I mean, he was a man’s man, guys. He was a carpenter. He made a whip and drove people out of the temple. He stood the Pharisees face to face and called them hypocrites. Which was some fighting words, you know. Those were fighting words. So he wasn’t some soft guy. Jesus did these things perfectly where Adam couldn’t. And where we fell, we’ve got someone to look to that was successful in this.

Conclusion

Authentic manhood, guys. Reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and invest eternally. We need to remember that we need to move from the shadow of the first Adam. And we need to move to the light of the second Adam. Because when Adam sinned in the garden, it brought sin into the world and it put all of us in a dire state. But it also set in motion God’s eternal purpose. From the beginning of the ages, God had a plan. And that plan was to be able to bring through David’s and Adam’s seed, bring about Christ. That would be the perfect man and redeem us all. And have us all the hope of salvation.

Leave you those thoughts. I hope that they had an impact in some way. I hope that you can use them to better navigate where you’re at now in your life and where you’re going. Because if you don’t know where you’re going, you’re lost. If you don’t have a purpose, you’re just drifting. We don’t want that. None of us, I don’t want that for any of us in here. You need to have a purpose. You need to know where you’re going and walk and behave like you’re going somewhere. Because sometimes, you know, I’ve run through this too. I’m like, you know, what am I doing today? What’s it all about? What’s my purpose? You know, you we all need that motivation. Everybody. But one thing we need to remember that if we have messed up, if we haven’t acted the way that we should, we’ve got, we haven’t been baptized, we’ve got the access to Christ’s blood and everything that He did for us through baptism.

We can do that for you if you need it. If you are a Christian and you’re not living right, and you know that you need to make some changes, maybe rededicate your life, we would love to help you with that if you’d come forward as we stand and sing at this time.